My husband and I have been married for three years, I'm 20, hes 29, and we want to start a family.
2006-07-15 06:18:05 · 12 answers · asked by obsession0524 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, it did not make my marriage stronger because it was already falling apart. But I have friends who had children and the message just continue on stronger and better. To a good marriage children just add to the happiness.
2006-07-15 06:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the second answerer - it will only get tougher if things are already tough. I'm a mother of four and I can assure you that it's not easy being a mom but it's definitely worth it in the long-run. Sure, my marriage changed after having my first daughter but it changed for the better, not for the worse. My husband and I love children (and each other) very dearly and this is why we decided to have children. There was no need to consciously try to keep our marriage strong because that's exactly what happened when Tessa was born -- our marriage became stronger. Our daughter brought us even closer. Then after Tessa came Lily, John and Ella -- this brought us together so very much, as you can imagine. It's hard raising one child let alone four so we've really learned to cooperate and compromise with each other. This was something that was hard for us before we had our children. The only advice I can give is to be the best mother you can be. Like I said, don't consciously try to keep your marriage strong because if you truly love each other like you say you do, this baby should bring nothing but joy, happiness, and love. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. xXo
2016-03-16 00:16:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having kids is a very important decision . You have to be sure that yo want to have children for the right reasons, and not because you want to make your marriage stronger.Bring another life to these world is a great responsibility, so a good reason to have a child is that you really want to have this child. And Know that your life would change completely. If you are prepare this child would be a bless. But don't think that a baby would make any relationship stronger if is not real love involve. Good luck!!
2006-07-15 06:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by None 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My relationship got worse. He handed all the baby responsibilities to me to deal with and it gave him a license to act like he was single again.
Nine months later I let him have his wish and he is now officially single.
I don't think that this is the case with everyone though. If your relationship is strong and your partner is committed to you, parenthood is a wonderful experience (even better when you have someone who wants to share it with you). You both need to understand that a baby completely changes your life and that your relationship will need extra work put into it by making the time for eachother even when you feel that there is not enough to go around.
You are still very young though and if it were me, I'd give it some more time and lots of thought.
Talk to mums that you know and find out what they are going through to make sure that you are ready for another lifetime commitment.
2006-07-15 06:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If starting a family is what you both want, then it can't make anything bad. There are some things to think about, though. Are you ready to give up your independence? Are you ready to have someone always there needing you for something at every moment of every day, even when you just want to be alone with your husband? Can you afford it financially? If you work, are you ready to stop working when you have the baby & will you go back to work after your maternity leave? Do you have anyone who will watch the baby for you if you decide to go back to work? Are YOU sure that's what YOU really want? Are you ready for your body to never be the same again?
These are the most important things I wish I had thought about before I got pregnant with my son. (I love my son, dont get me wrong.) I got pregnant on my wedding night and my husband and I never really got to just be married before we became parents. Once we found out we were pregnant it was all about the baby and not just us having eachother forever. It was a little harder because we were both in the Navy and he was stationed in Florida and I was in Connecticut, but we never got to have that first year of marriage to work out the kinks before we brought a baby in the picture. Now we have a handsome little boy (14 months old) whom we love with all our hearts, but we also have alot of stuff to work out between the two of us and it can be difficult sometimes with him around.
I'm not saying that I don't love my son, because I love him with all my heart and soul. I'm just saying that you should make sure that your relationship is solid as a rock before you bring a wonderful child into the world. Children are truly a blessing to a family, but unintentionally they can put a strain on a relationship sometimes, especially if it's not perfectly solid in the first place. If you and your husband feel like your relationship is solid and this is what you really want then go for it.
Good luck & God bless!!!
2006-07-15 06:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by gorf79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what kind of shape your marriage was in before you had the kids. Kids won't make a bad marriage better. But if you're both completely committed to each other and in agreement on having kids, then it seems like that could maybe make your marriage even stronger.
2006-07-15 06:50:33 · answer #6 · answered by cryptoscripto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are in love and stable with each other and financially, go for it.
If you two are having issues and are hoping a child will bring it back together, DO NOT.
Raising a child is hard, it means a lot of late nights and can be trying at times, it takes two totally comitted people to manage raising a child.
I love our child more than life itself, but there were times it took both of us to get through some nights with a colicky infant who seemed like she cried for the first year, she is so smart and a joy (most of the time) but let her (or him) grow up in a stabil home with two loving parents.
2006-07-15 06:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard call it just depends how strong you marriage is. Kids is some thing you really have to think about they just don't go away when thing get hard. Good luck hope everything works out for you. I have 4 kids and wouldn't trade anything for them been married 12years and still going strong
2006-07-15 06:24:32 · answer #8 · answered by HONEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on how your marriage is and if you are ready to be parents. if it is b/c you both want a child and you have a good relationship then it can be great. if it to save a marriage it will end up driving you apart. we waited 8 yrs to have our daughter (shes 5 now) and its great but we had a lot of time to build our own relationship before we added another person and the huge responsibility of caring for her.
2006-07-15 07:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by TAZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a baby ofcourse makes your realtionship more stronger and beautifull!!
your world seems to be changed for good.its the most beautifull thing to happen to someone!!
just go ahead and enjoy,good luck!!
2006-07-15 07:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋