I'm being very clear & honest here, so please don't read into my Q. You're getting all facts & not twisted psych. I'm a gal who cares 300% about my man, his pleasure w/ me & meeting his needs. That's why I was always a happy, content single...I could focus on my daughter & I & give us both happy lives. Years ago I decided 2 stop dating til I met my husband. It WORKED! OK. Being "me", I strive to be a good wife. My hubby's what you call "a great catch"~wonderful! BUT, our intimacy & commun. could be better at least 40% of the time. When he criticizes (physically, parenting) it messes me up ment'ly & emotion'ly. I'm not a basket case, but I feel taken for granted since I make major effort. The other day he googled some of his exes names + liposuction, arm exercises, etc...Hello, I'm 7 ms. pregnant & think I look fab. Should I tell him why I'm p!$$ed SPECIFICALLY or what should I say to him? I wasn't spying, I use the history to revisit sites. Advise me with care, esp. guys. Thks!!
2006-07-15 05:24:00 · 8 answers · asked by Sleek 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you measure your worthiness/happiness on how happy you can make others, which is why his comments mess you up. Take the focus away from him and what he does and start to think more of you.
You're 7 months pregnant he should be catering to your whim, not the other way round.
2006-07-15 05:29:08 · answer #1 · answered by Magaret Thatcher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is so easy to communicate with yourself ... usually, you just have to deal with your good side (angel) and bad side (little devil) ... and usually, it's easy to pick what fits you.
So, you've got this great guy, but communication is still in that "Feel - Try - Negotiate" phase. Being a woman you have less leverage than he does .... we women often just give into the man because he's loud and boisterous ... and usually this works until he's crossed the war line.
See with the communication skills that you need to develop, you also need to develop what you want to stand up for. All wise warriors will pick their battles selectively ... you need to consider what this battle of you beauty means to your marriage. Can you take the insults or does this destroy any love between the two of you ... keep in mind, pregnancy is a temporary state, and that pregnancy also shoots your hormone levels thought the roof ... think, and decide what you want to fight for ... however, if you're fighting to get you husband to think you're beautiful, you'll probably have a better chance of persuading him so by acting gentle, kind, and graceful.
2006-07-20 16:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be angry. However, he did nothing wrong. Did he approach you about liposuction and arm exercises? Until he suggests to you that he doesn't like the way you look, it would be better if you didn't analyze the things he reads on the internet. As for googling his exes--can it be he's just curious as to whatever became of them? It's not as if he's contacting them and making plans to meet.
If the way he criticizes bothers you, the both of you need to address that, perhaps with a marriage counselor.
2006-07-15 05:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by That Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and talk it out...if that is not possible then there are more serious problems with the relationship.
If you can write about it to strangers here then you should be able to talk with him and then some.
Set time aside and sit down and tell him how you are feeling...your his woman and he should hear you out and support you.
Don't freak out too much about the web searches.
2006-07-19 14:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by DaddyBoy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him what you saw and ask y. my hubby looks up exsa ll the ime. it doesnt bother me. with the plastic surgery and stuff. id be a bit upset butthen go on the comp adn find a page for penis enlargement. congrats on the baby
2006-07-15 05:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was a crappy thing of him to do. Tell him exactly how you feel....maybe talking to a marriage counselor or your pastor would help....leaving things as they are will not improve anything~~~take action before your in divorce court or spend the rest of your marriage unhappy
2006-07-15 05:49:34 · answer #6 · answered by nativeamerican1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't treat you decently when you're seven months pregnant, he won't treat you decently ever. If you want your feelings to be known, you'd better talk to him.
2006-07-15 06:59:06 · answer #7 · answered by cryptoscripto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a jerk and he doesn't "get it" so i would tell him how i felt and don't be shy. If you tell him how you feel fully he may just get shocked enough to start to listen.
2006-07-15 05:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by hellomicheley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋