Strangers to my child?

Question

It really bothers me that every where I go I have to worry about people trying to touch my son (4 months) or even want to hold him. These people are almost always strangers to my son and 1/2 the time stangers to me. For moms out there who have dealt with this whats your best response when someone asks to hold them? I've been trying to use my Bjorn to avoid it- but that's not always a possability. For those out there who may be reading this and do not have children please note that us moms dont like our babies hands touched (they put them in their mouths) and please don't ask to hold a baby you don't know. Its pretty creepy!

Don't get me wrong- I DONT care if people talk to him! He likes being talked to- he smiles and talks back. I just have a problem with people wanting to hold him and touch his hands. As a mom I don't touch other peoples babies espeically if I'm out in public (my hands are prob dirty from public germs). For example my husband I were out to eat and this women behind us kept saying "can I hold your baby?" We'd say no and she'd "say are you sure?" Then 5 minutes later- she'd start up again with "I really wouldn't mind!"

Answer 1

Your baby is only 4 months ( I have a 5 month old) and when they are this age....They are so adorable that it is hard not to want to hold them....To alot of women it just a mothers instinct to do that. I dont see anything wrong with it. I have 3 kids and dont mind if they were held by someone else. Its not like they are going to slam dunk your baby to the floor....I think you just need to loosen up a little bit.

Answer 2

You've got some good answers on here... My son is very social and always wants to play with strangers. If it's really just the germs that bother you, then seriously just ask them to go wash their hands first. But people that you don't know at all- I agree, that's not appropriate. I have caught myself asking to hold someone else's baby, but since I didn't know the mother very well, I changed the subject before she could answer because I will not allow an actual stranger to hold my son- you can't trust someone you don't know- period. But if it's someone you've met before or you are at someone's house with some strangers, it's a little harder. If you aren't comfortable with that person- tell them you want some 'mommy time' right now but maybe another time. Smile politely and show them how much you are enjoying holding your own little miracle. Most people will respect that. The most important thing to remember is that you are an adult, so whether it's creepy or just irritating- it's your decision and people that don't respect that after the first refusal, deserve to not be repected back. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have this problem, sort of. Everywhere I go with my 7 month old son, he gets attention. Mostly people just come up and talk to him and play with him, they don't try to hold him. It used to bother me, but now I realize most of them just think he's cute, and like him. My son usually smiles and laughs and "talks" to them, and they think it's the cutest thing in the world. This has actually helped him to not be so finicky with realitives he doesn't see very much. I don't usually let people hold my son, so I say "If you're not sick and you wash your hands, you can hold him for a minute." Most people aren't willing to go wash their hands. Or tell them he's sick, or that you're in a hurry, that maybe they can hold them some other time. While I wouldn't worry too much about people playing with him, I agree with you not allowing stangers to hold him. Just keep an eye on him when someone is playing with him. And after about a minute or two, say "Tell them bye-bye!!" That's a good way to get out really fast. Good luck!

Answer 4

I completely understand that you don't want to be mean to people and that you just want to keep your baby safe and healthy but seriously now...when people ask to hold/touch your baby you need to say no and be firm about it. You don't need to give an explanation, you don't need to apologize just say no. For one thing if they're strangers like you say then you probably won't ever have to see them again so you won't have to worry about them seeing you again, and for the most important thing it isn't about them it's about your son's health. If you have to be mean once in a while so be it cause your son's health is the most important thing. You never know whats on the strangers hand. They could have pneumonia and not know it and transfer it to your baby or even something as bad as that. Really it doesn't even matter about them catching something; if you don't want your baby touched you don't want your baby touched and that is completely within your rights and you shouldn't feel bad about that. I mean who was in labor with him? You. Not those strangers so they will just have to get over it. And hopefully when your telling a stranger or anyone to leave your baby alone others that had the same idea about asking to touch your baby will get the message and not ask. Hope I helped.

Answer 5

Just remember that the baby is your baby and not theirs,your decision is the one that stands. I am a Dad, and I was very much like you are as well. It was 20 yrs ago and the dangers were different, but you and I are both right.
Today the worries are more drastic, but you are aware of that. If you tell someone that you are not comfortable with them holding or touching your baby, and they are persistant, leave the area immediatley. You are the best safety net for your baby, and you need to do what you feel is right.

Answer 6

Thankfully, I've never had anyone ask to hold either of my boys when they were infants. Most people are pretty respectful, although I did have a couple people grab their hands a few times. I keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse and as soon as the people turned away, I rubbed it all over their hands.

Once, when my older son was only 2 or 3 months old, I had a lady walk up and kiss him! Granted, it was on his hair/forehead, but still... I was like, EW and turned away. (This was before I started keeping hand sanitizer with me, so i grabbed a baby wipe [the only thing i had with me] and scrubbed his head. He wasn't too happy about it, lol.)

Answer 7

I agree with Watson...although my baby is almost 8 mos old, and people are constantly trying to do that kind of stuff...Just the other day I was walking towards a store in the parking lot, carrying my baby, and this lady just starts walking towards me with her arms held out to hold MY baby like she was my best friend or something...where do these people come from??? I told her I didn't have much time, so I had to get going....she just kinda looked at me funny and walked away...oh well...too bad, so sad

Answer 8

You must have a darling baby, I dont like holding other strangers kids, but I have 8 kids ages 24 to 3 and I love babies, I usually just coo sometimes and tickke a shoeless foot, but that is usally if the mom isnt paying attention to their baby in the shopping cart, which bothers me more than a protective mom like yourself. If the parents are payng attention to their babies like you are, I feel better. I have never ask to hold someones baby. That is just wierd.

Answer 9

I would tell them nicely that your child doctor says it not a good idea to let alot of people your child because your child could get sick. If that don't work then tell them that you don't want them to hold your child because you don't even know them. I had a woman once ask if she could hold my daughterI told her no. She kept on. The problem I have the most is my new baby has alot of hair and people want to touch her head. That bothers me. My sister one time was pushing my daughter in the cart at Wal-mart and a woman come up to her and touched my daughter's head. My sister told that woman to get her hand off her niece. That woman ran out of Wal-mart. Sometimes you have to tell them in a rude way to get your point a cross.

Answer 10

Just say your baby doesn't like being held by strangers, but it is nearly impossible to keep people from touching them. Honestly you are doing your son a diservice by trying to avoid contact with others, he may develop a strong stranger anxiety wich can seriously inhibit his social development later in life. Don't worry about germs...a little bit here and there actually help build his immune system.