My brother-in-law John has two children from his previous marriage. He has also 2 boys with my younger sister. John has never told my teen nephews about their half siblings. Recently and mistakenly, I mentioned the truth to my nephews about their other half siblings. John found out that I said the truth and he was so upset as hell. He screamed and shouted at me and quit talking to me. He said he was not ready to tell my nephews the truth yet. He was afraid that this finding will create some kind of resentment between all siblings. Is he correct with his feelings or is he just plain crazy? I'm just curious to see how most people feel about this issue...Thanks for your input.
2006-07-15 04:42:45 · 18 answers · asked by Mr. J 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think that he should have told his kids before all this and it probably does make him feel stupid. He probably more afraid that your nephews will not trust him now, and with good reason.
Maybe he would have told the kids eventually, but i think that things are always better out in the open. I wouldn't worry about it. things have a way of working out in the end.
2006-07-15 04:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by justme 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think he's being an idiot not telling them. I mean, how could it cause problems? Does he even see his first born kids? What a jerk. My older brother met a woman who had a newborn baby and they were together for about 8 years, he raised the baby as his own, and they had another. When the firstborn was about 14, I mentioned something about his "father"..meaning his real father, assuming my brother and his g/f had told the boy that my brother wasn't the real father..but they both gave me hell, telling me they hadn't told him. I think it is something they should be told right from the start, so they just always know and that way it doesnt' cause problems. Kids will likely resent him more for holding it from them all these years. People can be weird. Its like the old days and people finding out they were adopted when they are 25 or something..stupid.
2006-07-15 04:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Catherine n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how old are the two boys he has with your sister ? If they are like under 4 or so they might forget all about it. If they are older they might have a few questions to ask any of you. Kids take things a lot better then you might think. I think it might be him who has a little resentment going or maybe some unresolved issues to deal with and was waiting for the right time FOR HIM not the boys. In any case it is out there and now just deal with it. You cant shelter your kids from every thing. Lord knows we all try but its life and better they find out from you then on their own.. but like i said it all depends on the age of the boys. I know I probably did not help much.. sorry
2006-07-15 04:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by ceece01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
John doesn't seem to be an honest person, or even pay child support.
John needs to grow up and take on his responsibilities. He's a lagger, thinking if his children are old enough to know about their other siblings,that everything would be o.k.
You did the right thing in letting a secret out of the bag, everybody would be much happier later on in life to know they have siblings they never knew they had.
2006-07-15 04:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by Moose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brother-in-law should have told them when they were old enough to understand. No, you didn't f....up; you probably enlightened the kids and now brother-in-law has no option but to tell them the truth. They deserve to know. But, you have to give some thought to their ages. Can they understand? What do they want to know? Just give basic information. Brother-in-law didn't know how to deal with the situation and so avoided it. Maybe you should call him or sit down with him and have a man to man talk without the screaming and yelling. Tell him you were wrong and it was a mistake on your part. But encourage him to talk to all of the kids. He's just being protective. He will respect you for coming to him and apologizing and it may strengthen you relationship with him. good luck.
2006-07-15 04:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should have been the one to tell them, but he should have told them a long time ago. If they are teenagers I am sure they are old enought o handle it. He should have known that sooner or later someone wold slip up and tell them. I don't know if he is crazy , but he is wrong for keeping the truth from them for such a long time. They will probably resent him for not telling them they have siblings!!
2006-07-15 04:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by soon2b mommy of 4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother in regulation is incorrect. What could desire to he care while you're doing the comparable element? i don't comprehend why petty stuff like this breaks up families. it is only pathetic of your brother in regulation. enable's wish some thing intense does not come alongside to attempt the bonds of the family. What you do on your wedding ceremony shouldn't additionally be an argument, much less some thing to get disillusioned approximately.
2016-11-02 02:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First if my brother in law was like this I wuld not let him near my lids.
But I have to say that it probably was not your place to tell his kids the truth.
I know this is not even close to you situation but my brother Tom would have gotten mad at me for taking his son to his very first CUBS game. I guess that is a no no. I guess it is a father and son thing. My other Marty brother called me and told me not to take him. I was not going to but I guess they think I am an idiot. Instead, I took him to the SEARS tower and he got to see Wrigley Field from the top and that was a close as I got him. He went home and told his dad that he saw Wrigley Field. My 3 brothers all glared at me (like I told you not to do that look) I said to JP now tell him where you saw it from. he told them From thetop of the SEARs tower and My brothers all felt very guilty for getting mad at me. I just turned around to them and said I would never take away that father and son moment from any of you.
2006-07-15 20:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Mac 4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was not something you didn't have the right to uncover. I mean, wouldn't you rather be the first to hear if, heaven forbid, a very close family member happened to parish, rather than the local news a five tellin you about it first? It was something he knew, and felt, he would uncover sooner or later to them, and he was the only one that really knew when the right time would of been.
2006-07-15 04:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by default 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are right on. They need to know about each other now so they can know each other and form a bond NOW at a early age. Thats crazy to keep waiting to tell all of them. Good for you!!! Sounds like this man is selfish only thinking of hisself instead of any good that could come out of this. He has 4 kids and they need to know each other. He needs to be a real man and admit all this and face it.
2006-07-15 04:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by celinallll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋