In December of 2005, and after 28 years, I found my high school sweetheart. We have been talking and e-mailing for the past 7 months and I finally got to meet her yesterday. I knew she was married with 3 children, but she made it clear from the start that she did not love this man~ (her husband). At the moment we met, the sparks started to fly! Our reunion was a very passionate extreamly and emotional event. The reunion was also secret, due to her current marriage. The time finally had to come in which we had to part ways once again. I informed her that due to the children, it seemed OK, that she continue to love me, but remain faithful to her husband. We will continue to talk and e-mail, but I know it will be some time before I see her again. When the time came to say goodbye, I felt an overwhelming sense of greif and sadness and don't know if I will be OK? I really want to be with her and God's law says I cannot! What would you suggest?
2006-07-15 03:23:39 · 14 answers · asked by GeorgieBoy 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Shut up and go kill yourself..! The devil rules!
2006-07-17 06:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Piff and twiddle - god's laws won't allow. If she feels it is closer to god's plan to teach her children to endure the struggle and pain of a loveless marriage, I think that she is wrong. My mother was in a loveless marriage and she had the courage to leave him and find love elsewhere and I say thank God that she had that courage. In her second marriage (and frankly even in her 3rd) we have all learned so much about love and our own selves.
If she doesn't want to leave him it is because she doesn't want to leave him - and that's fine, but don't pin this one on God.
I would suggest that if you are looking for love and your personal philosophy does not allow for divorce, then you should stay away from married women. It's nice to catch up with old friends and old lovers - but what you have with these people is old. It is rooted in the past and often has little to do with who we are today. Who knows - if you could be together right now, you might hate each other in 3 months after living together.
Kiss it good bye and move on. Maybe you will happen upon each other in the future when you can be together. Maybe you will find someone even better. Enjoy the adventure and follow your heart.
Peace!
2006-07-15 13:14:19 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you find a hobby or recreation that you really enjoy to help take up time that u would normally spend dwelling on grief. She is a married woman and how fair is it to u that u should feel so sad while she is content enough to stay in her marriage, and live her life without you in it everyday? It will be hard, but do it for yourself and move on. There is too much passion in this world for you to be so sad. Good luck.
2006-07-15 03:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Tanya P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its true that departing once again is difficult. But if ur friend loves you truely, and if she likes to marry you divorcing her husband, you can accept this new relationship whole heartedly. But you must think of her children also. You must get their permision too. If you are affraid, the time will say the answer. Hope for the best.
All the best brother.
Bye...
2006-07-15 03:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello??? The fact that you met secretly with a married woman doesn't seem wrong to you? She has already been unfaithful in my opinion, and you have contributed to a possible breakup of a family. So yes, you should feel very sad indeed. For her poor kids, not for yourself. If you knew she was married, why would meet anyway?
2006-07-15 03:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by mynickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, it is okie to be sad. But you should noe why u are getting sad for. You should know the main cause. From your story, i find that it is of no use. If the girl whom u like says she doesnt love the guy, then why did she ever lead herself to having a baby?...OKie maybe it was after having the baby she started not liking him, and liking you. How sure are you that, in the future she may stop liking you and like someone else?....Not very rightt?..So yeh....you should noe your priorities....The girl?...well mann....a piece of advise, there are loads of girls around, why there maybe girls just infront of your eyes...but maybe you just cant think of them now, because ur taken up by this girl in your mind. Just relax, do somethin u like, and im sure u would have a better life. Have fun.
2006-07-15 03:31:52 · answer #6 · answered by Dudeee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. I have also had to part company with someone to save my integrity, and it wasn't (and still isn't ,easy).
You did the right thing, and the sadness you feel is anatural reaction. I wish I could say it will go away, but for me it hasn't.
I have been on along and difficult journey, people think I'm ok but they don't see me when I'm alone in the evenings and desperately unhappy.
keep in touch with this woman as a friend, support her and be there for her but expect nothing in return.
It is horrible and hard but it is what we do for love.
I wish you well.
2006-07-15 03:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by loobyloo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SAD??? What you are feeling is guilt. Don't you know you cannot go back. Now you have compromised a marriage and the future of those children all because you needed an ego boost? Her life has now changed for the worst. You took advantage of her vulnerability because you knew she was having marital problems. All of that for a lustful encounter?
Now that is sad!!! And your concern is for yourself, how thoughtful??
Where was your Bible when you were lusting? Typical hypocrisy!
2006-07-15 04:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by pixiegypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything I am going to tell you you know to be true in your heart,
but you need to get it up to your head where it needs to be.
You did the wrong thing by contacting her in the first place, and then added another wrong to it by getting together with her.
The only thing you did right was to tell her she needed to go back.
You need to tell her how much you love her and want her, but, as long as she is married you have to break ties.
You will just be causing more heart ache and problems for the both of you.
And worse, her children. Do you want to be the reason for the love of your life to have messed up kids?
That is not showing true love.
2006-07-15 03:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its perfectly ok to feel so. Because in a Philosophy they say that its the Ten Worlds thru which we all have to pass. These are rapture, happiness, animality, anger, hunger, etc. culminating in the eternal state of something. If you want more information it shall be my honour to help you understand this. Please send me a mail at easwaran_ks@yahoo.co.in and we will take it from there. Thanks
2006-07-15 03:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by easyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no god. Deal with that truth first....
It is Ok to experience moments of sadness, but if it is drawn out, too intense or causing issues in your life, it may be depression.
2006-07-15 03:30:02 · answer #11 · answered by ceprn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋