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If you suspect your partner of cheating on you is it wrong to check their e-mail and text messages to learn the truth before you confront them?

2006-07-15 02:56:39 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

29 answers

The hub of your question here is 'learn the truth' and as the truth must prevail in any situation where your partner is possibly cheating on you and hurting you, then anyway that you learn that truth is perfectly in order. I don't think anyone can question that. Even if it is all perfectly innocent, then learning the truth is still perfectly fine. But, I will add that there is generally no smoke without fire............
It is better to know, and be proven to know what is going on rather than to be in the dark, waiting to be badly hurt and find out sometime later. That is your right. And your partner's right too if the tables were reversed.
I hope this is reassuring ......

2006-07-15 03:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Is he cheating or looking for attention, flerting is something we all do, for the most part it's harmless, a desire to know that you can attract people. If people were honest with each other from the start of a realationship, this sort of thing would never happen, trouble is, we are all guilty of something, but we grade ourselves, usually grading our parteners far worse than ourselves. Lack of communication leads to seperation. Love is a war, a prison and it is a universe of other beautiful experiences, but it is rarely based on honesty and truth, find this in your partner and you will have a soul mate. If you cannot develope it, then develope it, if that don't work, walk. Check, but use the stuff you find out with love and intellect. The worst possible senarios can be overcome, but only with love and truth, make your partner your best friend, you can then tell him anything, even that you fancy someone in the street. Weird aint I.

2006-07-15 03:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

yes i would and have, your instincts never lie to you, and even if you don't find proof in his mails doesn't mean he's not cheating, it'll just settle your mind until the next time you suspect. viscious circle really but if you doubt him to that extent then there is no trust there anyway so what is the point in a relationship with no trust.

I f you check this time and find nothing i guarentee you will check again in the future and you'll keep chacking until you do find something. All that is enough to drive anyone insane.

My advice, be honest with yourself about the type of relatinship your in.

2006-07-15 04:27:49 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirl80 2 · 0 0

I personally think that it is much better to talk to them about your concerns before you go rifling through their things. Has he given you legitimate reasons to think he is cheating (like coming home late smelling like perfume)? What are you going to do if you get an answer - end the relationship or try to work it out? How are you going to feel if you do find something? What if you don't, and now you are the guilty party? Try to trust until you have a reason that you can't. You are really the only person who can answer your question, but I would think about the outcome that you anticipate once you know the answer you seek before I committed to devious methods.

2006-07-15 03:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by davis0375 3 · 0 0

Yeah but I think if there is a suspicion your partner is cheating, or alone the urge to check there mail/texts, that there is a deeper problem in the relaionship. In fairness though, if it was me, I would do exactly the same thing.

2006-07-15 03:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Nemo 1 · 0 0

if u suspect them of cheating then yeah go right a head check what u can, no need to confront them if your wrong! but if u suspect then your probably right but also good to have some hard evidence to use against them!

2006-07-15 04:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by blondebirdcrazy 3 · 0 0

What you feeling is time-honored and cheaters continuously lie about affair. Infidelity is continuously unfavourable, and frequently deadly, to a wedding ceremony. it is achievable to sidestep allowing infidelity to carry a wedding ceremony to an end, besides the undeniable fact that. gaining knowledge of the betrayal and awaiting the skill lack of the guy maximum significant on your existence causes tremendous misery. compared to the trauma of lack of life, which has an end and may be compensated for by effective aspects contained in the relationship, infidelity undermines all it fairly is sturdy contained in the relationship and the discomfort looks to don't have any organic end aspect. inspite of the actual undeniable reality that no longer welcomed, lack of life is to be anticipated in some unspecified time sooner or later in a wedding ceremony. Betrayal isn't. The sufferer of betrayal questions if the significant different ever loved them, and if so, what they could have executed to lose it. it is as if the adulterous significant different has thrown airborne dirt and airborne dirt and mud contained in the river of their marriage contaminating the water in the back of them and formerly them. To get over trauma, a sufferer has a organic tendency to bypass decrease back to the aggravating adventure, questioning, going over information repetitiously: “What did you do? the position? at the same time as? How frequently?” The traumatized significant different might want to bypass over the activities until eventually the emotional misery brought about by them will develop into viable. they might want to attain a level the position they experience there are not any extra surprises. frequently, the betraying significant different needs to get issues over right now, after admitting to their infidelity. they might want to strengthen empathy for what the betrayed significant different is experiencing, and be keen to stay with the discomfort of guilt, until eventually authentic therapeutic can take position. to boot, the betraying significant different would study something about them self contained in the questioning procedure. they might initiate to work out their own causes, vulnerabilities, and selfishness. If both spouses can tolerate and administration the sentiments in touch, they might come to a joint information of ways the infidelity got here about, signaling the starting up of a extra significant aspect of restoration. restoration regularly takes a million to three years. sturdy success.

2016-11-06 10:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think many women have doubts... um, would you want your partner to check your email and text messages?

I guess, you could check the messages- but if you are WRONG and caught, that may be the doom of your relationship and you would have brought it on yourself.

2006-07-15 03:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Patti 3 · 0 0

A lot of people will differ on this...but I know that I would check it out....if I sincerely got a bad feeling then I would just do it...9 times out of 10 you are right on the money...women just have a knack for that sort of thing...
I hope your proved wrong!!!!
Good Luck!!

2006-07-15 03:04:58 · answer #9 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0 0

No, if u have a feeling something is up, then check it out because your probably right. If your wrong have a little more trust in your spouse next time.

2006-07-15 03:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jan B 2 · 0 0

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