When I have intercourse, it is extremely painful. What can I do about it?

Question

I have avoided sex for about 7 years now because of it. I feel unattractive because I just can't enjoy it. Every man I've been involved with thinks its because I am rather inexperienced but I don't think that is the probelm.
When He enters me, no matter what position and the lubrication, the thrusting is so painful I feel like I am dying.

Answer 1

I have the same problem. It's called vulvodynia, and you have to see a gynecologist right away, for your own mental health and satisfaction. It's a terrible thing to have, because you feel so awful and incomplete when you are unable to enjoy sex!

First of all, tell your general practitioner (if you have one) about this problem, and ask to see a GYN who specializes in women's sexual disorders. I went to three GYNs who basically said "well, I guess he's just too big for you" or "well, maybe you're tense, use more lubricant" before I saw someone who took my pain seriously. When I finally saw a good doctor, she helped me pinpoint exactly the places that hurt, and gave me dilators to help me desensitize myself. They are basically prescription dildos, but they come in several sizes, and you start with the smallest one and work your way up, doing exercises with them every day. Well, that helped a little, but it didn't quite work for me, so I actually went on an antidepressant that can also help with this type of problem, even though I don't have depression, and it really helped! I don't like the medication, it makes me all dry, but I only have to take it for a short period of time, and I can feel already that it is making a difference.

I hope you see a GYN soon, this is very curable if your doctor knows what she's doing, and there's no reason for you to continue to not enjoy sex!

Answer 2

Vaginismus is a psychological disorder in response to fear of sexual intercourse for whatever reason. This fear may be subconscious.

If I were your councilor I would ask about your feelings about sex, masturbation, virginity, and your family of origin’s views on the same thing.

I would bet a LOT that buried in there somewhere is a strong lesson about girls that have sex, or simply about sex being dirty and or bad – perhaps even deadly. There may also be some issues surrounding the value of virginity (a common issue in modern American society)

I think the first thing I would try if I were you is simple masturbation, with and without your boyfriend. Once you become more comfortable with that sort of sexual involvement moving to a vibrator, dildo, or other insertable masturbation toy along with a tube of lube, seems to be a logical next step. After you are comfortable with, and enjoy using your vibrator, spending some time, naked, with your boyfriend, where he, or you spend some time putting his penis next to, or even between the lips of your vulva – but without penetrating – or trying to penetrate you further. Once you are comfortable with that, an attempt at intercourse may be fruitful.

If that does not work – looking into a hypnotheripist may be a beneficial option – but I would not pick that as my first hope.

Answer 3

You need to talk with a really good doctor about htis. there are many conditions that can cause pain during intercourse, adn most of them can be treated. If it's not a medical reason that they can pinpoint, then you should see a psychologist and talk about why you feel this way, becasue your symptoms could be psycosomatic. Do'nt keep suffereing... find some help.

Answer 4

I am surprised you have let it go for so long without consulting a dr.
You need to schedule an apt and get to the bottom of it, it is not a matter of sex anymore, it is more a health issue at this point. Why do you choose to ignore something that appears to be so serious ?

Answer 5

Dyspareunia can be caused by a number of factors, including vaginal dryness, atrophic vaginitis (thinning of the vaginal lining in some women, usually postmenopausal or those on certain drug therapies, including antihistamines and GnRH agonists), an allergic reaction such as to clothing, spermicides, douches or condoms, Endometriosis, Vulvodynia, Vulvar vestibulitis, Interstitial Cystitis, Lichen planus/Lichen sclerosis, urinary tract infections, vaginal yeast infections, sexually transmitted diseases and psychological or physical trauma. Dyspareunia is diagnosed based on specific symptoms and your medical history, and is treated through a number of different means depending on the cause, including use of lubrication during sexual activity, antifungals, antibiotics or other medications, recommending Sitz baths, use of topical estrogen cream or steroid cream, pain medications, surgery where appropriate (such as in the case of Endometriosis; see www.endocenter.org for a self-test to determine if this is your problem) and sometimes physical therapy with biofeedback. In order to determine the cause of your specific dyspareunia (and thereby enable you to choose a proper treatment), talk with your OBGYN.

Answer 6

You need to visit with a good gynecologist to make sure it's not a physical problem first. If it is not than you need to perhaps find a therapist to find out what could be the emotional reasons behind your discomfort. You could find help with this problem.

Answer 7

see dont worry dont be afraid but start conrolling ur intercourses and see that you immediatly show a good doc any get an immediat solution be normal and don build up a pscycological prob

Answer 8

Marry a chinaman with a mini.

Answer 9

I would contact a gynecologist.....seems unnatural