Well am I wrong to expect my boyfriend to jump for me like I do for him? When he's tired, he doesnt want to talk or when he wants to go out with his friends, he does. If I go out and stay out until 4 am or 3 am like him, he's a little annoyed. When I'm tired, I get up every day to talk to him despite the fact. When he needs me, I'm there. I try to always return his phone calls promptly. Everything. Am I wrong for expecting this back??
2006-07-15 02:22:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its a long distance relationship and he has his own life, but Im a homebody, so the only thing I want to do is talk to him all the time. He has friends and family and he goes out a lot and all I do is sit around waiting for him. I just want to know how he will react when I do get my own life. I feel like he doesnt make as much time for me as I would for him, but he is trying though.
2006-07-15 02:29:43 · update #1
You really shouldn't give with the anticipation of getting. It only leads to unhappiness. I know I sound like a freak, but I know from experience. For about 8 years I made sure that my husband never lacked for anything, dinner, clean laundry, I anticipated his every desire. If he was mowing the lawn I would take him a drink, if he was tired after work and fell asleep on the couch I would take the kids and go to the park or something to keep the house quiet. After so long I built up an animosity towards him because he didn't do the same for me. I never realized that I expected something back, but I guess I did. Now I try and remember that. Definitely a lesson learned, I don't jump so quickly anymore. I still do things for him, I just don't kill myself doing it. Good luck!
2006-07-15 02:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation; and I wonder this all the time. I met my boyfriend when we were nine; we became best friends by sitting next to eachother in a chorus we were in. 5 years later, he graduated; leaving me there because I still had a year left. It will be a year I haven't seen him in 8 days; July 23rd, and I'm thinking about him constantly. And I do the same thing. HE'S A GUY. He wants to have fun. And that's how guys are. He calls me and sings to me on my voicemails and we talk every day, but it's not working. He lives two long hours away and neither of us can see eachother at all. To add insult to injury, when the alumni were invited back, I was informed by the chorus manager they didn't want him. That made me wonder, why am i doing all this for him when he doesn't return it? But look at the little things he DOES do instead of the things he doesn't. That's what makes me appreciate him and love him so much.
2006-07-15 09:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by swimmergirl4@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying goes: do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way sometimes. You treat your boyfriend the way you want to be treated and he's not doing it. It's too bad that he's blinded to all that you're doing for him. Try and talk to him about it but whatever you do: DO NOT start recounting things and giving him a whole list - guys get so mad when we do that. So talk to him about it - if that doesn't work, stop initiating things for a bit and see what he does (i.e. leave for a little while until he notices and see what his response is). If he still doesn't give you the treatment and respect that you deserve, then you should find someone who does. Maybe then he will have finally woken up to the fact that he let someone that awesome go - by which maybe then it might or might not be too late. Good luck.
2006-07-15 09:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by @~>--T--<~@ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No my bear you are not wrong! But on the other hand I guess sometime we expect men to react to situation the way we do and that can never happen. I know how you feel....You feel as though you are giving and you are not getting or getting too little in return. I guess it all depends on how long the two of you have been together too. What I suggest however is you sit and have a discussion with him. Let him know how you feel and also tell him that you dont see yourself spending the rest of your life being sort of ignored. Let him know also how you feel about him and just connect with him so that you can hear how he feels too. I wish you good luck.
2006-07-15 09:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by viddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, talking to my friends, it seems like all guys r alike; ATLEAST the ones we date. They are so inconsiderate and of course that sucks. So 2 answer yo question HELL NO U NOT WRONG GRL. Just know that u r a good WOMAN and hopefully he will realize it B4 it is 2 late. Keep doing what u do..... B Nice. NOTE: If he is not there when U need him 2 B then move on 2 the next until U find MR. RIGHT!!!!!!!! SMILE
2006-07-15 09:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by missie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just a man!! Don't mak the effort 4 a bit and let him do it!! U nnever kno he mite start a conversation! Treat em mean 2 keep em keen!!!! : )
2006-07-15 09:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he loves u but ur relation my have grown old so do a favor to both of u
go away from him for some days or a week cos distance grows the love fonder.
2006-07-15 09:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ur not. if he cant give u the same in return then it mite be best 4 u 2 move on
2006-07-15 09:27:14 · answer #8 · answered by male85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it doesn't look like he appreciates you for being so good to him. why don't you talk to him about the problems? if he really cares for you, he'll be there for you more often,etc
no you're not wrong for expecting him to be a better boyfriend for heaven's sake.
2006-07-15 09:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by haze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no but its not a mans nature to jump for things like you seem to do
2006-07-15 09:26:42 · answer #10 · answered by nigga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋