I am a drug addict and alcoholic in recovery, I'm clean for 3 yrs. People need to start trusting me again?

Question

I know I hurt a lot of people, but how long to I have to apologize. People seem to want me to beat myself up for the way I was and not the person I've become.

Without AA and Na I COULDN'T have done what I have.

Answer 1

Kudos to you on the long, hard road to sobriety! You have a great deal to be proud of, and sobriety is no easy accomplishment. I am sorry that it is taking so long for people to regain trust in you, sometimes, people can be reluctant to think that people can change. I don't know how you can prove your trustworthiness other than the obvious (keeping your word, being reliable, staying away from things/ situations that can get you in trouble, ect.,) which you have probably already tried. Just take a deep breath, and try not to let people frustrate you too much. Remember, they are recovering, too and people recover at different rates. I would begin to find new, sober friends to hang with in the meantime. Join a civic orginization to get involved with, maybe take up a new, athletic hobby or get involved in your faith. You as a sober person have alot to offer society and this will also show people that you have changed, while making the wait on people to come around seem shorter. Good Luck, God Bless you !

Answer 2

This is a very hard thing. It may take forever to get people to trust you. Be careful that you are not displaying the behaviors you once had, even though you are clean now. Continue going to meetings and talk about this kind of stuff. Sometimes what happens is that even though you are clean for so long now, you continue to have what I call the "druggie attitude." Make sure you work on yourself for yourself. Be the person you want to be for yourself and no one else. If people continue to distrust you, then leave them be, you cannot do anything about that. As long as you know that you are trustworthy and you know what is truly in your heart, then don't worry about the others.

Continue to become the best person you can be. Continue turning to your higher power and I hope you have a sponsor you can turn to when needed. Be proud of your accomplishment, you have your life back. Regardless of how others feel, you are in a far better place than you were 3 years ago.

Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 3

I don't think that people want you to keep apologizing. It is time to start proving that their trust is deserved. Trust has to be earned, and evidently, you had broken that trust with your family and friends. It's not something that is easily given. Have patience, stay clean, be as honest as you can be, go to the meetings. By the way, this may be a good issue to bring up at a meeting, I'm sure that others have had the same problem, and can give you some guidance. I have to commend you, what you're doing is not easy. It takes tremendous courage to fight addictions, keep up the fight, stay strong. God Bless.

Answer 4

Great that you've been clean for 3 yrs. You may never get complete trust back but I hope you don't let how others feel about you control how you feel about yourself. Have you gone through, or are you going through, the 12 steps? There is a reason AA has been about the most successful program out there.

Answer 5

If they're friends, maybe it's time to change to new ones. Old friends who are TRUE friends will applaud your achievements and move forward WITH you. Those who see you as who you used to be, are friends best left behind.

Family will take longer to trust you, simply because of the knowledge of you in their minds. They have memories that are long and sometimes, bad....and getting over that will take time, effort, and hard work on YOUR part. And I know you said it's been 3 years...but that's a drop in the bucket compared to your problems and how long you had those same problems.

Just have patience with family, keep doing what you're doing, and understand it's not an easy road, but each day, each step in the RIGHT direction puts more bad memories out of reach, and new ones in the forefront of their minds.

Good luck, and kudos for staying clean for so long! I have a daughter, she's 29, and still not clean or sober. I worry for her, but I worry more for my grandchildren, whom are being given to me by DFCS. THEY are my first priority...and hopefully, she'll see what she's done to them soon, and can start that long, hard road to recovery as you've done.

I salute you, sweetheart....and my best to you in all you do!

Answer 6

Sorry pal, when you break trust even once it takes at least ten times in good deed to repair the damage. When you break trust repeatedly you sometimes NEVER get the trust back. It isn't as easy as saying hey I'm clean an sober now, sorry for every rotten thing I did now forgive me! NOpe you got to RIGHT your wrongs, repay debts, fix what you destroyed and most importantly behave and earn trust from those you seek it. The twelve steps apply and it sounds like your skipping a few and rationalizing to suite your needs which is why the relationship is fractured to begin with, get real!

Answer 7

right here interior the US there is no the place for a man or woman on incapacity to circulate to get help for any style of habit. i individually understand those that are disabled and became addicts after their incapacity because of the well being care provider prescribing fairly addictive drugs to them. i think it is the place the challenge lies. docs overprescribing addictive drugs or drugs that make the affected person no longer able to correct function in public places. habit is a affliction and in case you appeared into those that are addicts you will locate that many or maximum come from families the place habit could be modern-day of their histories. it is the government that screws squaddies out of their rights and it is been occurring because time began. I completely agree that it is incorrect yet you won't be able to declare one is worse than the different. squaddies understand they'll circulate into wrestle whilst they sign up. i don't understand everyone it is on kidney dialysis thrice a week that has been advised to get a activity. it is BS.

Answer 8

Your doing wonderful, unfortunately people take a long time to trust again. Just keep doing what your doing and in time people will come around. But what you have done is for yourself not others. As long as you have forgiven yourself you can quit apologizing. Good luck to you and keep up the healing.

Answer 9

First of all, congratulations on being clean. Recovery is tough; not just for you but the people around you. You have to be strong and patient. It's been hard on everyone. Only time will heal some wounds. Good luck.

Answer 10

Be patient, it may be hard but once you have destroyed peoples trust it takes a long time to rebuild it. Trust is something very valuable as you are now finding out it's worth working for and once you've lost it you may never get it back. You made your choice now live with it, and hope for the best.