is there such thing as a perfect partner?

Question

i have been married for 20 years and he knocked me about, i got divorced met some one else who i thought was the ideal partner and he just keeps getting us in to debt, why do men let me down i alway think im a strong person but im not so sure any more!

Answer 1

Yes I believe there is a perfect partner. Partners are like friends, sometimes they do things that surprise us. We tend to settle for less than what we want, out of fear that is the best we can do. My advise is to think enough of yourself to wait on the person that will be as perfect as your best friend...sometimes off center, but all around great person.

Answer 2

Well,,,,sounds like you have some ideas about what to look for in a partner that don't really work for you. I'm sure you've heard the old joke about how people will choose a partner in light too dim to buy a suit. The joke, of course, is that a relationship is way more important than a suit, but we'll look at a suit from every angle before we buy it, and then turn around and choose a life partner before we know much about them based on some feelings that came out of nowhere. Try this out--next you time you meet a guy and you've gotten to know him a bit, step back and ask yourself if you'd trust him to run a large company for you. If the answer is "no", then he'll let you down once the honeymoon period is over.

Answer 3

No, there is no such thing because nobody is perfect. There are different people who have different needs in terms of partnerships.

In terms of chosing a partner, each of us may pick a "wrong one". What matters is what we learn from this.

I am sorry that your new partner is not who you needed. You are as strong as before, you just need to handle that next step: what do I want to do with that man? How do I want to handle this? What matters to me? Can him and I sort that issue or do I prefer to live alone?

Eventually you will find someone who suits you better. Maybe you need to think hard about the sort of person you need, how you get to check a man can offer what you need, and how you can make him respect your needs... Easier said, I know by experience!!

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

If you keep on looking for the perfect partner, then you can be sure that there is none. But if you keep on trying to be the perfect partner, then you can be sure that there is one. This is because almost everyone in this world would want to find a perfect partner. It is easier to do it and it comes without any sacrifice nor diligence on oneself. In marriage if you treasure the companionship, you have to persevere to be (try your best, if not) the perfect or ideal partner to your other half. Then only can you expect him or hope that he will be perfect or ideal to yourself. This holds true because of the law of compensation. You get what you pay for, and you get what you have done for. So, dear, don't go out there and look for the perfect one for there is none. But if both of you love each other and treasure each other, then both must persevere to try to be ideal or perfect to each other. Of course, there are a few sure no's to a partner. If he or she is a drunkard, a womaniser, a gambler, a violent person, then get out as soon as possible because he or she does not deserve to have a partner. You sure don't want to be his or her victim. Someone else or nobody would have been better that him or her.

Answer 5

I am with a really awesome person. We have misunderstandings but we work through them that they don't escalate. And there is mutual respect. In the past, I got into some relationships where these elements were not present and I had to quit those relationships once I realized that. It seems like you really have to know what makes you a great person and all the great qualities about you. After you know yourself and you encounter men that try to dissuade you of those obvious facts, you know they are wrong and not worth listening to. You don't want a man trying to make you feel smaller, you want a man that will help add to your list of things that make you great.

If this guy your with is stressing you out and constantly getting into debt and doesn't talk to you or respect your opinion about it, or affects your self esteem adversely, then he is not helping your list of good attributes. Also, the person at the wheel is only me. I cant blame a man for letting me down when I have the control to let him out of the car when I feel the need to. If I take him along and let him affect my self esteem and allow him to belittle my self worth, then I made that decision. All I can do is to know my self, know what I want, and not allow any old thing to just crawl up into my life.

Answer 6

I am married to my soul mate....but that doesn't mean that you don't have to work at it. By all means he is a man....and I am a woman. You know he will have faults like everyone else and it is always a work in progress, have to give and take for it to work. I know because he is my third marriage. My first husband died, the second should of. So, my advise is that you need to look at the men you are choosing...are you settling for less that you want...looking for a bad boy to take care of....or were you abused and in a cycle of it....
I was stuck in that cycle until I put my foot down and said no more. It may have taken me half of my life to get to that point but at least I didn't ruin my entire life.
Just remember one thing you are a woman, a survivor and yes you are strong just keep your head up and make a choice today to improve it and have a talk with your husband that life has to improve because you want it so.

Answer 7

each of us have flaws which we tend to hide just to keep a "perfect" image. in relationships somehow these flaws tend to come out as both of you get to know each other deeper. the more time knowing each other gives more chance of adjusting and make amends with each others flaws and to some extent rushing in to marriage thinking each has found a "perfect" match...when in fact each has found a way of "complimenting" with each other and not getting rid of the flaws.
there is not such thing as a "perfect" partner but there is such a thing as "perfect" ways to keep a relationship work.

Answer 8

No, there isn't ! But that's not a bad thing : perfect = boring !!
It's those imperfections and differences that make life interesting and relationships challenging and alive.

Sorry, but that bloke who said he'd married the perfect woman : yeeuucchh !! Do you wear matching cardigans ??

As to your relationships - stay strong, you know what you want and - if you stick to that philosophy - you'll get what you are looking for ! Accept no s**t !!

Answer 9

That's an easy question to answer....no, there isn't!

That being said, it sounds like you have not been the best judge of character over the years. Blame your men but don't forget that you chose this person as well. You need to accept certain amount of responsibilty for your situation. Not trying to be harsh, it's just that playing the victim will absolutely do you no good!

Answer 10

There is no such thing as a perfect person. What you should do is get to know these men before you commit to them in such a way.