My fiancee wants me to stop taking my birth control (we're getting married next year)....he wants kids and so do I, but I already have one and I'd like to wait till after the wedding. He seems to want them now....a little pushy, but really sweet.
He never had a good home life and I think he wants to make a good home life with us and very soon.
I've already told him to wait, but he's very adamant about starting soon, even talking about pushing up the wedding date just to start a family.
I'm not upset, just concerned that he thinks this family that we're going to have together is going to replace the one he already has and doesn't like.
Opinions???
2006-07-14 21:30:10 · 10 answers · asked by punk pirate 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My oppinion.. wait atleast a year after u get married to start working on having more children..as u know already by being a single mom, that not all relationships last just because children are involved.. i think it would be smarter for the both of you to atleast spend 1 year on a honeymoon phase in your marriage although u already have a child.. i think u should make sure that your marriage has a strong foundation before getting pregnant... but thats just my oppinion.. but id definately say not till after the wedding atleast..
2006-07-14 21:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all hate our family. But I wouldn't start one just because. You are bringing life into the world, and I don't think rushing it or doing it the wrong way (before marriage) is starting out on the right foot, and sets a bad example for your existing child.
I would move up the marriage before I would move up the pregnancy. You know this is the right way.
We all dream of having a better family than the one we came from, but most of the time that doesn't happen. If it did, we would all have great families in the year 2006, but we don't. This is a dream that takes an awful lot of work, and your kids may still grow up to hate you.
2006-07-15 04:38:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very carefull not to rush into something like that you obviously already know the problems one can experience with rushing into things so i wont lecture you on that but the fact of the matter is he may not even care about you he may just be concerned about those high expectations that you probably wont live up too no matter what you do...dont mean to ramble but i have gone through similar cituation so my advise is try to wait even if that means switching to a different birth control that he wont notice ask your doctor about mirena... good luck hope everything works out for the best.
2006-07-15 05:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by twistedlifesmysteries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not ready for it then dont. I know u also have to consider your husband to be but whats the rush, besides you are getting married next year so just stick to what u want to not have it now. I understand you bec u already have a baby and u know how parenting can be hard, so just try to explain everything to him and let him wait till u two get married or till both of you are ready for the baby.
2006-07-15 05:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anybody force you into a situation you don't want.
Remember you're the one who has to carry around that little tyke in you for 9 months, then squeeze the puppy out, and spend many long, sleepless nights with a crying infant.
Do you really want to go through all that again?
2006-07-15 04:38:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want child so soon he has to understand it. Decision to have a child has to be mutual. Hard situation, but make compromise. Talk to him, he has to understand your reasons, but anyway few months doesn't mean that much, right?
2006-07-15 04:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by HarMonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your fiance just wants a child of his own i think he loves your child so much that he is ready to commit to this relationship for life sounds like a good guy stop thinking so negative
2006-07-15 04:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by corvairchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him not yet or lie to him and tell him you stopped and then when you are ready stop but if he had a bad life you better wait
2006-07-15 04:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by jim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does he plan to put in, er, having the family? is he gonna have labor pains? i know he wants to put in something (lol) but that is painless. you control your body. don't let him control you.
2006-07-15 04:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*sigh* look if you dont want it just tell him no (nicely not to up set him) and say not untill im redy
2006-07-15 04:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by englishbum@gmail.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋