My family who has always been close nit, recently were told that they can no longer speak to my cousin. including her parents. They are Jehovah witnesses. She recently left her husband of 5 years and has moved in with another man. She said she is much happier in her new life considering that this is the man that she originally wanted to marry. Instead she married her ex because he was of the same faith and her parents were against the relationship she had with this other man. He is catholic. Now because of her decision the church has expelled her. And she has basically been disowned . I don't understand this. I love her very much and it pains me to see her hurting so much because she feels alone. She has always been a good daughter and supportive of all of those around her.And now when she needs their support they abandon her. I try calling her as often as I can. I too am catholic and the only one she talks to. I wish I could make it easier for her. Has anyone gone through this?
2006-07-14 19:24:26 · 5 answers · asked by casper 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I had a friend who was kicked out and disowned by her Mormon family. Things were really rough for a few years, but she is doing well now. I guess some people really put faith first and foremost... that is their decision.
Your cousin has done what she feels is necessary, and it is a good thing that she has a true & supportive friend in you.
2006-07-14 19:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by Petey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to know the full story of what goes on in this type of situation, I will tell you, because several old friends of mine have been what you call "disowned." These were people I was very close to, people I grew up with. I cannot lie to you and tell you it was easy. When someone takes the name of being a witness of Jehovah, they are really making a promise to God to put Him first in their lives. God allows for mistakes too, because what he really looks for is repentance and heart condition.
I cannot speak for your cousin, and I really feel sorry that this has happened to your family, but I don't want you to walk away with a bad taste in your mouth either.
Like I said before, everyone makes a promise to God to serve Him first. Temptations arise, but we are constantly reminded of our determination to do what is right. Your cousin also promised to the first man that she married that not only would she love him, but that she would stick with him come what may. She also promised this to God. The point is, she didn't have to marry him at all. If her parents really forced her to marry him, then they should be ashamed. But, the fact is, your cousin made 2 commitments, and broke them both. I don't know if she has kids, but if she did, she also broke a promise to her children that she would help to keep the family together. If not, all the better.
When your cousin made the decision to leave her ex, she probably felt very justified in doing so. But we all must assume responsibility for decisions we make, and your cousin would not have to be distanced from her family if she had shown that she hadn't meant to cause pain.
Witnesses are people like anyone else, and many, many make mistakes. Almost all of my friends are no longer serving God, of their own free will, because they decided to break a promise they had made to Him, and refused to repent, show remorse, or attempt to repair the damage they did to family, and friends, including myself. I live with this pain everyday, knowing that I cannot waver in my stance to let them feel as if no matter what they do, or how they live their lives, no one is hurt by their actions, especially God.
When people are no longer considered a Jehovah's Witness, it means they need time to get things straight and really decide what they want to do with their lives. In the meantime, those who are still members of the congregation are warned not to associate with them, because some people (not to mean your cousin) have been known to be very vindictive, feeling as if they were thrown out when they really forfeited their right to hold the name of an organization that tries so hard to live up to the standards that God has, and yet provide an example to all others who are always looking for a means to criticize the faith.
Whatever happens with your cousin and her family, I hope they can all find peace with themselves, and especially her. Do not think I view her as a bad person, but I personally do not feel she was innocent and that the result was harsh.
2006-07-15 03:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by da chet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family would have been told no such thing. That is typical anti-Witness slander and serves only to insult Jehovah's Witnesses and confuse fairminded readers.
The question mentions a woman who seems to be engaging in regular sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband. The Scriptures call this practice "adultery" and "fornication", and the Scriptures explain that practicing this sin disqualifies one from God's kingdom. This is serious sin, and not simple imperfection.
(1 Corinthians 6:9,10) Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers... will inherit God’s kingdom
Jehovah's Witnesses obey the Scriptural practice of disfellowshipping for unrepentance of such serious sins as fornication, drug abuse, stealing, and apostasy. Baptized Witnesses who join the military or publicly engage in worship with another religion are considered to have disassociated themselves from Jehovah's Witnesses.
Contrary to the lies of anti-Witnesses, it is quite possible to become inactive in the JW religion without becoming disfellowshipped. Divorcing a marriage mate (even without cause) is almost never a disfellowshipping offense. As long as one's lifestyle does not bring reproach upon the congregation, and as long as one does not advocate one's disagreements with the religion, the congregation has no interest in "investigating", exposing, and disfellowshipping an inactive former Jehovah's Witness.
For those who are disfellowshipped or disassociated, a primary goal is to shock the person into recognizing the serious of their wrong so that they rejoin the congregation in pure worship. Since the primary bonds that are broken involve friendship and spiritual fellowship, it is well understood that family bonds remain intact. Parents, siblings, and grown children of disfellowshipped and disassociated ones sometimes choose to limit what they may feel is discouraging or "bad association" but that is a personal decision and is not required by their religion.
Former Witnesses who are disfellowshipped or disassociated are typically treated in accord with the Scriptural pattern explained in these Scriptures:
(1 Corinthians 5:11-13) Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. ...Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
(Titus 3:10) As for a man that promotes a sect, reject him after a first and a second admonition
(Romans 16:17) Now I exhort you, brothers, to keep your eye on those who cause divisions and occasions for stumbling contrary to the teaching that you have learned, and avoid them.
(2 Thessalonians 3:6) Now we are giving you orders, brothers, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to withdraw from every brother walking disorderly and not according to the tradition you received from us.
(2 Thessalonians 3:14) But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter, keep this one marked, stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed.
(2 John 10) If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him.
(Matthew 18:17) If he does not listen to them, speak to the congregation. If he does not listen even to the congregation, let him be to you just as a man of the nations
Learn more:
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1988/4/15/article_01.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1997/1/1/article_01.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/library/jt/index.htm
2006-07-15 22:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I'm very sorry your family is going through this. My daughter married someone who was an ex Jehovahs Witness about 6 years ago. He was shunned by his family for marrying a non-Jehovah and my daughter was mistreated by them. Finally, he decided to go back to his cult and divorced my daughter. I don't know how that cult can have any respect in this world. They hurt so many people and feel completely justified doing it.
2006-07-15 02:33:10 · answer #4 · answered by makingthisup 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no i don't think its right but its what they believe in.as parents i don't think its right to disown there child under any circumstances.
2006-07-15 02:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋