can you check my grammar in these few sentences?

Question

These sentences are from a memo, self-introductory memo, that i am working on now, and few of my sentences seem to have problems.

So, can you check my grammar please, if you have any suggestion to make the sentences much better, please feel free to do it.

Thx u so much
==========================================
After graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in either the financing or accounting industry.

In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or insurance company as a financial investor.

I definitely want to work in United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role of the world economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree of financing, and work in a financial company.
==========================================

Answer 1

Shouldn't financing in the first sentence be financial, as in the financial industry?
work in the United States, in the world economy
Good luck in the job search!

Answer 2

After graduating from SFSU, Am planning to work either in a financing or in an accounting industry.

In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or for an insurance company as a financial investor.

I definitely want to work in The United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role in the world economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree in financing, and work in a financial company.

i hope this helps

Answer 3

Upon graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in the finance or accounting industry.

My future goal is to work as a financial investor for an online brokerage firm or an insurance company.

I would like to work in the United States or England as both of these countries play a significant role in the world economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree of finance, and work for a finance company.

Answer 4

**Disclaimer** Just my opinion, feel free to do what you will with my suggestions:

1) After graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in either the financing or accounting industry.

--might sound better as "plan to work in the finance or accounting industries."

*In other words, you've repeated 'industry' more than once in your original sentence, and there's no reason to use the word 'either' when you already have 'or.'

2) In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or insurance company as a financial investor. <---OK

3) I definitely want to work in United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role of the world economy.

sounds better as

"I hope to work in the United States or England; currently, both countries play a significant role in the world's economy."

*The second option is less choppy and has a more even 'flow' to it.

4) Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree of financing, and work in a financial company.

might flow better as:

". . .I plan to pursue a Ph.D in finance, and work in an appropriate related company."

*Here you're expressing your goals and desires for the future in one concise sentence

Hope I have helped you. Good luck!

Answer 5

(My changes are in caps)

After graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in either the FINANCE or accounting industry.

In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or insurance company as a financial investor.

I definitely want to work in THE United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role IN the world'S economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree (DELETE THE WORD DEGREE) IN financing, and work in a financial company (would INSTITUTION be a better word here?).

Answer 6

After I graduate from SFSU, I plan to work in the finance industry or the accounting industry.

In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or for an insurance company as a Financial Investor

I definitely want to work in the United States or in England, because both countries play a significant role of the World's economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D in Finance and work in a finance company.

Answer 7

I plan to work in either the financing or accounting field after graduating.

My future goal is to work for an online brokerage firm or in an insurance company as an investor.

The United States and England has a lot to do with world economy and has my preference for employment.

After pursuing a Ph.D. degree of financing, I would like to work in a financial company.

Answer 8

My goal is to work for an on-line brokerage firm or insurance company as a Financial Investor.

Working in The United States or Great Britain would be a dream come true. Both countries play a significant role in the world's economy.

Five years from now, I see my self pursuing my PhD in Finance while working for a financial company.

Answer 9

financing is a verb

After graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in either the FINANCE or accounting INDUSTRIES. (more than 1 industry)

In the future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or insurance company as a financial investor. <<(did you mean advisor? aren't their clients investors?

I definitely want to work in United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role IN the world economy.

Five years from now, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree IN
FINANCE, and work FOR a financial company.

Answer 10

After graduating from SFSU, I plan to work in either the financing or accounting field.

In future, I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or an insurance company as financial investor.

I am eager to work in United States or England because these two countries have been playing a significant role in the world economy.

Five years later, I plan to pursue a Ph.D. degree in financing and work in a finance company.

-----------------------------------------------
I've done the needful as above - Good Luck for the future !!

Answer 11

I plan to work in either the finance or accounting industry after graduating from SFSU.

I hope to work for an online brokerage firm or insurance company as a financial investor in the future.

I definitely want to work in either the United States or England because both of these countries are playing a significant role in the world economy.

I plan to pursue a PhD. in finance, and work for a finance company.