Should I date a "separated" woman?

Question

I just met a great girl. She's 23, used to go to my university, still lives close by...she's great. After having dinner she gave me her Yahoo ID so I could IM her. While talking to her tonight I clicked on the link to see her Yahoo profile. I was surprised to see that her marital status was separated. I'm 21. I've been in only 3 serious relationships since high school. I guess my question is whether I should go any further with her. If she were to get divorced I would have no problem dating her. Would it be strange for her to date someone who hasn't had as much relationship experience? Also, I am a virgin. How do you guys think she may feel about that?

Answer 1

Wait!!!!! if she is married she is off limits for now!

Answer 2

People make mistakes at any age. If you're getting to know her then the time is right to ask her about the "separated" status. You do realize that some women lie in profiles to make themselves less enticing to Internet vultures. So it might not even be her real status. Or you'd be surprised how sometimes there are arranged marriages in the USA, maybe not as formal and well known, but where the parents push their agenda and the kids think they need to respect their parents. Yes, it's rare but it is possible. So ask her.

If she has filed legal separation ask her about it. If you don't want to get involved with an "experienced" woman, then don't. It often takes a couple and many women a long time to determine what they like so even if she has had sex, there's no guarantee she enjoyed it. So is a person who didn't enjoy it experienced?

If she is getting a divorce then you can keep her at an arms length or handle it in a way that suits you best.

If you're worried about performance, you can find books at any large bookstore about what makes a good lover. If it all worked out, she might be open for using a book to teach you or to learn with you. You will never know if you don't ask.

I'm glad you respect yourself and the women you've dated by not having to have sex. You're one in a million these days it seems.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Unless someone has been in this situation, they just can't give a real good answer. I became divorced last year. My wife wanted the house to herself, so since she wanted me out, I moved in with a girl that I just started dating. We were separated, but I was out of her way and that was really what we both wanted. So since that situation was better for both people, it outweighed the fact that we did not have a piece of paper with the court's stamp on it. ( that is all the difference having the divorce final really is)

Now a year later, I am one my own and dating someone that is going through a divorce. They have no intention of getting back together at all. They have been separated for over a year, so the "rebound" stage is way over.

Now in your case. What the hell!? you are way to young to get into a situation like this. Forget about the Bible thumpers or the warnings about her ex. Give this a lot of time before going any further. You may find someone else along the way. But no matter what, give yourself some time. You don't want to be some body's rebound after a relationship ends that young.

Answer 4

Since she's technically still married, I think you should steer clear of her. Sounds like she will be bringing baggage to the relationship that you don't really need to worry about at 21. For me, it's important to be with someone who's still a virgin, but then again, I've never been married before... Maybe you should ask her about her relationship status, just in case her profile isn't correct.

Answer 5

IF in fact she's separated, she's not quite divorced. She's probably juggling lots of personal stuff right now. She may want to play the field too. You could end up getting emotionally hurt. I'd advise you to date a woman that really available. If the other woman wraps up her divorce and wants to be with you then, go for it.

Answer 6

No, unless you would like to experience heartbreak.
She may simply be 'taking a breather' from her husband.
Dont EVEN allow yourself to be pulled into such a situation.
And you have the perfect right to let her know politely where you're coming from. That you would choose not to become involved with someone who is actually still married. She needs to put her life in order before she decides to confuse others.
Your sexual status should not be a concern to her.....period
That is YOUR business. Dont present her with a notch on her belt.

Answer 7

NO! Wait until the divorce is final. You're a virgin so it sounds like you could get really wrapped up in her fast only to find she went back to the guy. If you like her, Stay close...but not too close. Committing your emotions to her now could lead you to a lot of pain later.

Answer 8

Worst case Scenario
Jealous Ex Husband with a Knife or a Gun.
Think Twice Maybe he isn't quite separated yet.

Answer 9

Ask her , what her marital status is exactly, maybe it is just wrong, I had once married but looking by accident , but I'm not even married.

Otherwise I would suggest, slow down. And if you like her, go for it , no matter what anybody says ;-)

Answer 10

No wait until divorce is final , you are supposed to take the time while you are separated to think about you your spouse and your marriage together . NOT about other people , do not intervene

Answer 11

having a relationship with a separated woman is Adultery. its in the Bible. unless her husband died, then its not adultery anymore. if you are a virgin still, continue respecting yourself by not going into a relationship with her. God has set apart a woman for you and she is worth waiting for.