Everytime we get internet I find dirty pics saved on our computer or on the internet history. I don't mind that but my husband swears it's not from him. That doesn't bother me it's when I find that he's getting on and trying to meet this women or creating personal ads for himself. What should I do? Everytime I ask him about it he tells me it's not him.
2006-07-14 18:27:34 · 20 answers · asked by morganfam42000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have 3 girls one is 5, 2, and 3 weeks old. It's just us, and the girls can't get on without a password. Also it happens at the times after I go to bed when their popping up.
2006-07-14 18:41:19 · update #1
get a hold of holds nuts and twist them until he spills the truth
2006-07-14 18:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you need to understand as long as he thinks it will cause a problem he is like a child and will lie to keep down any problems. Next time you find him doing these things ask him if someone is happy in a marriage does he think this is right to do. Find a time when he and you both have had a good day and he is willing to talk and just explain how this makes you feel and that there is no one else that could have done it. Tell him how much you love him but that this has to stop for the marriage to work. If he can't stop then you two have a problem. Trust will soon be gone and then you will never have any trust in him. Stop this before it goes to far. You went into this marriage with him for love, comfort and til death you part, so make him keep his end of this marriage up and stop trying to stroke his ego with this childest play.
2006-07-15 01:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by sweetcaroline 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how long this has been going on but if it has just recently started I strongly advise that you somehow put an end to it now. It IS him and the lies will only get worse. My husband lied to me about it the very first time I confronted him. I had the history open right in front of his eyes and he tried to say it wasn't him. A couple weeks later we separated. It was then that I found his profile on match.com. As I followed his trail I found him profiled in a couple of the adult (sex) sites. We were separated for 4 months. After we were back together he kept it cool for about 7 months and then I started noticing a personality change. 3 days before Christmas I found him profiled again. I went in and deleted his profile and within a couple of weeks he was on another site. I deleted this profile and then he signed up for 4 or 5 different sites within a 2 day period. I asked him numerous times to stop. I wasn't getting anywhere. We always had a very healthy sex life so I had a real hard time trying to understand why he was doing this to us. Every time I questioned him he always answered that he hasn't done anything. I asked him what he was going to do when temptation was standing in front of him. Would he cheat on me? His answer.....I don't know, I doubt it. We're now separated again and all odds are against us. Eventually I had started feeling ashamed for him to see me naked and I felt fat instead of sexy when I'd put lingerie on. There have been so many times that I've needed or wanted him and when I would attempt to put my hand on his body I'd withdraw because the thought of him with someone else kept flashing in my mind. There are books for the addiction of Cybersex (this is the next step) but the best advice that I can give you is go to a marriage counselor while you still have a chance. Get your husband back into his marriage before he lets this addiction destroy it like my husband chose to do. I wish there was a way that I could hold these sites responsible for the destruction of my marriage because I would take every one of them down. Please don't close your eyes because this will not go away by itself. I wish you the very best of luck!
2006-07-15 04:18:01 · answer #3 · answered by Brenda A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL, You know what to do. He is trying to sabotage him. Get Real. Girl. Trust... communicated assertively that this type of behavior will not be tolerated in your home and on your family computer. BUT Before you go there; ask God to lead your words and give you authority over this. If you allow it, it will open a flood gates of issues between you too. Nip it in the Bud NOW.
2006-07-15 01:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by RONNIEKAT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a son do you? Would anyone else use or have access to your computer? If it could only be your husband, my suggestion is to get eye to eye and step outside of yourself and ask him for honesty. Don't be emotional, be logical. And talk it out. Show him what you found, and ask for absolute honesty. Just don't get emotional. Pretend you are someone else and look at it from an outside point of view and that will help you be logical about it and act accordingly.
2006-07-15 01:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by Chiky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get that keylogger software and download it secretly. You'll get to the bottom of the dilemma fast. If it's him, he could be trying his marketability - or he may be serious. Either way, there's trouble brewing, time to talk and ask him what he wants that he's not getting. Then visit a professional counselor if you can't come to an agreement about trust in relationships.
2006-07-15 01:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact of the matter is telling the truth will get one into more trouble than telling lies. So, many chose to tell lies to get things settled. However, my believe is it is easier to tell the truth than lie coz no matter what happened, lies will surfaced one day and put you in a LOT more trouble.
I personally gave up seeking truth from my ex. It's like squeezing water out of a rock!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-15 04:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by DiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who else could it be? Who else uses your computer?
If there is no one else, you need to take him to a counselor. Viewing porn is one thing. Trying to meet other women or creating personal ads for himself is a serious problem.
Do not accept his denials. Try not to be angry or accusatory at this point. Just insist on a counselor and be willing to let him have his separate appointments.
Good luck.
2006-07-15 01:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by hope03 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious he is the one doing all this. How long has this been going on? He knows that you are aware of his cover up and he sounds like he's in denial. What you should do is tell him you wont accept his answer and you know that he is lying to you. Let him know it hurts you and you wont accept his behavior. If he still doesn't care, let him know that you will have to leave.
2006-07-15 02:21:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that u need talk to him.and look him in his eyes and tell him look i dont sum what mind the dirty pics.but this gettin online and makeing personal ads and tryin to meet women is not going to happen anymore. and tell him its either me ur wife the one u promised to cherish and love to death do us part or its them internet bimbos.ur pic me or them? and see which one he choose's.and if he picks u make sure he means it.
2006-07-15 01:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by ive_lost_my_m1nd_i_cant_find_it 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have kids? Check the time on the cookies & figure out who was on then.There are 3 things to check.... temp internet files,cookies & history.
2006-07-15 01:30:01 · answer #11 · answered by Troy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋