What is the funniest thing that your child has ever said or done?

Answer 1

When she was 3, my youngest would chatter thru every meal, we tried and tried to get her to hush and eat. I finally got angry and said, "Shut your mouth and eat". With a very solemn expression, she said, "Then how me chew?"

Answer 2

Once when my daughter was about 5 we were in the Victoria Secrets Store and she was looking at all the mannequins in the store. As we were standing in the check out line she spies another mannequin on the checkout counter she looks at it and then looks up at and and say very loudly mommy why does she have such big nipples! I almost died. I work at a pre school and some of the things that kids say are just the cutest because most times they are being serious and dont realize they have said anything wrong or funny.
Once I had a girl (about 3 years old) at the preschool come up to me and she was rubbing her behind. I asked her what was wrong and if she might be poopie and she looks at me so serious and says no I am not poopie but my *** hurts. I started laughing so hard that I could not even get on to her about cussing. LOL

Answer 3

My 12 yr old stepson told me that he had nothing to tell me when I asked if the teacher had given him a report card. Little did he know I was holding a copy that I found in his booksack. Turns out he had signed the teacher copy and turned it in. He was punished the last 7 weeks of school. The funny thing is we know how good a liar he is now. So he'll get away with alot fewer things. Also the report card wasn't that bad. He wasn't failing and all we would have done if he showed us the card originally was made him study more without punishment. We don't spank. He brought up all of his grades from near constant studying. He doesn't think this story is funny but I do.

Answer 4

When my son was younger (about age 10) he pushed a whole stack of talking cards at once in KMart, then managed to grab the mike by the register and started talking.
When he was about 8, I had him in Macys with me while I was shopping and he lifted up the skirt on a mannequin that was standing on a table and pulled her panties down a little to get a better look.
When he was just about 4 months old, some lady came up to us and started the whole "He's such a cute baby" routine. She went on for a while until he reached over and poked her exactly in the nipple.

Answer 5

With my youngest (12 now) its been an ongoing adventure. Some things weren't so funny at the time - are funnier now
When he was 4 - I made him stay in his room for a time out for something - next thing I know the next door neighbor was bringing him back to the front door. I said - "I didn't see him go out the door" - Neighbor "Thats because he went out the window "- he popped his screen out to go outside (luckily it was a first floor window - but still high for a 4 year old.)
His answer -"Well no one ever told me I couldn't pop my screen out" - later when he figured that wasn't the best answer he said "Well the screen fell out and I was just trying to get it" -
That same year he was going to be ringbearer in a wedding - at the rehearsal he announced - "I am not going to walk down that aisle" It was near Halloween so I said "You'll walk down that aisle or there will be no trick or treating" He said after thinking for a minute "I'll walk down that aisle - but I'm not gonna be happy"
I was up at the front - and couldn't see his face - but as he was going up the aisle he was looking up with his head ducked down and peering up with this little devilish look on his face - by the time he got to the front people were laughing because they said he was practically growling.
In 3rd grade - I noticed he was bring home lots and lots of school books everynight - but was always done with his work by the time I was home. Finally one day he broke down and told me - 'I bring all those books home in my bookbag because my dad said I can't lift weights until I am older - so I am getting around it this way" ... I had a meeting with the teacher over some other thigns shortly after that - I asked her if she noticed that he was packing up all of his books each night and she said "Yes - but he told me his dad liked to sit and read the book with him every night"
I looked at the teacher and said -"He doesn't see his dad every night - remember we're divorced - he only goes to his dad's every other weekend...." I told her then why - she about died. (He has an angle for everything)
Last thing on him - he was getting ready for a trip out west last year - he is normally a very, very smart kid - he was discussing places he was going he said - "and we're going to 'yoseymight' (have to hear it to get that ) we paused - "Yosemite" Oh yeah .. thats it ....
Several years ago my other son said - "Hey mom - why don't you get one of those Kareoke cars (think of it pronounced with a ch in the front ) .... again .. pause - "What?" "You know mom a Jeep Chereoke (pronounced like kareoke )
I could go on all day with the things they have said - those are the ones that hit me quickly
Good question - fun to read others answers

Answer 6

My little sister says the weirdest things. One time when we were malling, she spotted an actor. Being starstrucked, she came near him and said Hi. She also asked if she can have a picture with him. After I took the picture, she turned to him and said, "I really liked The Cinderella Story with you and Hillary Duff acting. I so love you Chad!". The actor looked at me blankly as I dragged my lil' sister away from him while laughing.

The actor was Orlando Bloom.

Answer 7

My daughter is two and a half but a VERY quick learner. She spends a lot of time trying to cram as much information into her little head as possible and recently learned her alphabet and the different sounds each letter makes. She had an accident and came to me and said "mommy, I'm poopie.. P-O-P-I ...POOPIE" lol her attempt at spelling amused me.. and how close she got to succeeding was a SHOCKER.

Answer 8

I took my 3 year old son for a walk and as we passed a church where there was a wedding we stopped to see the couple come out There were many people sitting at the side of the steps with my son on one side and myself on the other. Suddenly he yelled across 'HEY MOM, ARE YOU MARRIED'?

Answer 9

Today my 2 year old cousin was at a farm and saw the older children doing cartwheels. He wanted to try so he got down on all fours and kicked his leg up.

Whenever he passes a cow he says moo.

He has a very large dog and two cats, we cannot convince him that smalls dogs aren't cats.

Answer 10

My 18 year old Downs daughter was hugging Dad and he was teasing her and I said be careful this generation may give you the finger. Without knowing she knew what I was talking about , she gave him the middle finger. We figured she may have seen it in one of our many DVD movies. He said , teasing , you better watch it I can break that finger and she looked at him and stuck her middle finger up again and smiled and said " I mean it" ! Being she can't talk well, this was so clear when she said it we laughed til we cried !

Answer 11

My son's too young to say anything yet, but my nephew recently said something pretty funny. We were going to town one day and my 4 year old nephew says, "When I get older, I'm going to drive a blue mustang and my sister is going to have and SUV. We're going to drive real fast. We're going to run from the cops. I'm going to drink beer and smoke cigarettes like Smokey and the Bandit." I told him he'd go to jail when they cops caught him and he said, "Well, maybe i'll pull over and let them take brit to jail."