I am a HS Vice Principle. I make $31,000 a year. Why don't the kids I mentor in detention respect me?

Question

They will never amount to anything. I am a well respected man. They are common criminals. What is going on here?

Answer 1

Does Barry Manilow know you raid his closet?

Answer 2

Just some observations, probably things you already know. First kids like you're talking about, not always but often, come from homes where the parents don't discipline them. Parents who, at least the one that stays home during the day, view the school as someplace to dump the little devils from 8:00 to 3:00, and raise holy hell if their youngun is suspended so that they have to put up with him or her for a few days.

Next, I think the minority kids just plane don't see the point in completing school because they can't see having a rewarding future. And, rather than sit quietly until the bell rings, they occupy their time disrupting classrooms. No, they don't have any respect for authority. Authority is perceived as the very force holding them back.

One more thing; how many kids at your school are promoted or graduated despite the fact that they haven't completed the work necessary to do so. If that's happening, there is no incentive what ever for a marginal student to knuckle down, and certainly none to respect anybody connected with administration.

My two cents worth.

Answer 3

Derwood, you are really giving these kids WAY too much free rent in your head! These are children, for crying out loud. Maturity, by definition, is NOT their strong suit. Why do you think they are in detention in the first place, for ingrown toenails?

It sounds like YOU need to grow up. Get a life outside of school. Talk to some other adults and get some perspective. Those kids could care less how much money you make or what kind of respect you think you have or deserve. They are not ALL common criminals. Some of them will, in SPITE of you, amount to something.

You sound like someone who got into education because you figured it would be an easy job and you would get three months off each summer with pay. People like you are why our kids are the way they are. Leaders lead by example. Your example, as evidenced by what you wrote, is that of a self-pitying whiner. How can you expect them to be more mature than you are? If you don't love the kids and you don't think they are worth your time, do yourself and your students a favor and change professions.

Answer 4

Alright, let's start off:

1. You think it matters how much money you make. Money has nothing to do with respect. Osama Bin Laden is ROLLING in money, and Saddam was printing his own. Does it matter? NO!

2. You say the kids will never amount to anything. The simple fact that you have no confidence in them means that to them, you are a waste of time.

3. You say that they are common criminals. That's YOUR attitude towards them. Have you ever tried to understand life from their perspective? In today's society, a 17 year old drinking a beer is a crime, but a 30 year old can drink an entire bottle of whiskey and beat the snot out of his family. A 19 year old having sex with a 16 year old while in love is a crime, but a 50 year old having sex with a 19 year old because they're drunk and horny is perfectly legal. Smoking marijuana, laughing, and harming no one is a crime, but every day so-called "doctors" give highly poisonous drugs to their patients, such as ritalin, morphine, and thorazine. You may consider their actions "crimes," and the law of the land may agree with you, but laws and councils and governments have changed often.

To sum up: In all honesty, you sound like a pompous, self-righteous, stuck-up ***. If you are not, then your attitude is quickly making you one, and you certainly come across that way on this site. My advice to you would be to completely reevaluate the way you look at the students you mentor. They are not "kids... common criminals." They are young adults who will make mistakes, as we all did when we were there age, and as we all still do to some extent every day. Your position is being one of the few people who can help to give them guidance. Maybe if they're not listening, that's not the problem of your audience, but of your message.

Answer 5

Your attitude.

First, you cannot rach out to a person who does not want help (No matter how many times you watch "Coach Carter").

Second, detention is just a place to hold them. Do they do anything to improve themselves? What do you do to help them improve themselves?

Third, what makes them criminals? Have they been convicted of larceny, defacement of property, petty theft, drug usage? Or do they merely controvene stated policy? If it is the latter, they are only violators.

Fourth, what evidence do you have that you are well-respected? Certainly not by the charges you have to oversee.

You need a different approach. If tehy don;t want your help, isolate them in a corner of the room and forget about them. Concentrate on those you can save.

Can't save any? Isolate them all. Have them mark time. Say nothing in tgeneral comments and answer any questions that they have as brief as possible, but giving the information they need. Nothing more and nothing less.

Answer 6

It's real simple. First, your income has nothing to do with it at all. Neither does the fact that you're a well-respected man. What matters most is that these "common criminals" come from what has been labeled "dysfunctional families", a core quality of which is the complete lack of respect for anyone they perceive to be "authority figures" in any way. As a highschool VP, you are a #1 target for their disrespect, and it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their personal and family histories. Their lives are living "pathologies", meaning that they are very predictable self-destructive life patterns focusing on rebellion, addictions and disrespect. It's one of the biggest problems for mental health practitioners to deal with, and as a retired mental health professional, I know whereof I speak. The number one thing you can do to make a change is to get yourself out of the formula for "cure". Not that you should quit your job or career, but that you should get your "reputation" and self image out of your job. Until you do, you're in a one-on-one battle with each and every pathologist you encounter in your detention program, and I can tell you that if you don't have your own dysfunctional family history, you'll never understand where they come from and they'll have you beat before you wake up in the morning. They live with a chip on their shoulder, and they live to put people like yourself "in their place", if you can understand what I mean. If you have no training in addictions, get some. Or if you have no training in criminal justice, get some. You yourself said they are "common criminals". Respect your observation. You're right, but if you try to butt heads with them, you'll lose before you ever get in the arena. They've lived their entire lives in abusive situations, having their heads butted in by the very people supposed to love them, their parents and other close relatives, and subsequently every person that ever comes close to them, yourself being one. God Bless you in your efforts. You'll need Him.

Answer 7

You should not be in the position you are in... for you to say that indicates a total misconception of your duty as a public servant. When the vp of a highschool says that he's a man of respect and the students below him are common criminals.. well then that's a total breakdown isn't it ? I don't believe you .. I don't think a man of self respect would say someting so off base and callas ..

Answer 8

To start your salary has nothing to do with it. Second from a HS Junior...we do not respect our VP because you guys do not respect us. Calling the students common criminals does not help. We are teenagers what do you expect? What were you like as a teenager?

Answer 9

Vice Principal (incidentally, you should be able to spell your job title correctly if you work in the education field) is just not a job people respect a great deal. This is probably because kids tend to think Vice Principals don't do anything.

Answer 10

because you brag about making only 31,000 a year and think you are respected..... earn thier respect without boasting your (falsely appointed) ego and they may start to repect you. your problem is you see them as common criminals and they pick up on that. the troubled kids in a high school are usually the smartest. see them as they are and not for what you prejudge them to be, and you may earn some respect.

Answer 11

First of all, because you can't even spell the words in your job title correctly. You are a principal. Secondly, you have no respect for the students (calling them common criminals... puh-leez), so why should they show any respect for you? Perhaps you would be happier in a different line of work....?