2006-07-14 15:58:00 · 28 answers · asked by susanneedsyou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Plan. Plan Plan. Do not do anything in haste.
Take your time working out what you will do set-by-step
Consider what you want and need in life and make a plan to get it.
In the meantime is it possible to syphon off some dollars to begin your new life?
2006-07-17 22:58:20 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him. He crossed the line and dishonored the marriage. If you stay together you're sending him the message that's it's okay to cheat and disrespect you. He'll continue to cheat; but he'll get smarter and sneakier about it in order to deceive you. The Bible states that adultery is the most certain and undisputed cause for divorce. That alone should tell you something about a adulterous heart...there's no changing it. I hate to be the one to say it, but it's probably not the first time he's cheated... only he wasn't caught until now. He will never be faithful to you. If you can sleep comfortably at night and be content with the fact that he may have a mistress, then by all means keep him. If not, you know what you should do. I know you're angry, hurt, and disappointed but time will heal your heart ache. Good luck to you.
Do you really want to live like recomio? In a distrustful marriage where you have to "baby sit" and watch his every move? Her husband probably cant take a sh*t in peace with out her standing over him! Who has time for that?
2006-07-14 23:27:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband cheated on me so we broke up then got back together. I figured he had got it out of his system (we got married when he was 19 and I was 18). After a while he cheated again. After about a year I took him back and guess what-he did it again!
My advice is kick him to the curb. You deserve a man who is faithful; In my opinion a man will either cheat or he won't. It doesn't "just happen". After 9 years of putting up with the cheater we finally divorced and I have been married for 15 years to a man I KNOW would never cheat on me.
I wish you all the best!
2006-07-14 23:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by RoZ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out while your ahead, are you sure he's cheating,
don't take this the wrong way, I think couples that have been together for a long time need to stay on top of their looks, and romance, reason so you always keep that spark in the relationship, go on dates don't stop talking have sex often, not in all cases but I think w/long term relationships that's why women or men start to cheat, they need that attention they don't get at home, if you don't have long term relationship then honey you need to let Mr. Cheater pants go, also if it's long term.
2006-07-14 23:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Twinkles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I did with mine ... It wasn't always the right thing, but I got through it.
1. I screamed and hollered and cried and beat the hell out of him for about three days. (Please note that I discovered this affair four days before our son's first birthday. We had been together for 13 years.)
2. I was actually fairly understanding, at first, about his need to let the girlfriend go and how difficult that was going to be. Gave him a few days, then a few weeks.
3. Counseling, alone and as a couple.
4. Kicked him out because I needed space to think and needed to control my outbursts. Continued screaming, hollering and flailing every time he lied, which was pretty much every time we spoke.
5. More counseling. Repeatedly made clear my intent to leave for good if he a) didn't stop seeing the girlfriend and b) didn't stop lying to me.
6. Left after six months when he a) didn't stop seeing the girlfriend and b) didn't stop lying to me (and also accused ME of abandoning him for not being supportive of his needs for extra-marital affection and affirmation).
7. More counseling.
8. Came to an understanding of myself as a good, solid person who deserves better -- and who can be better than that screeching banshee I turned into with my reality-impaired husband.
9. Now the fun begins ...
Of course, your husband might have -- unlike mine -- made a single mistake, and he might be willing to give your marriage the attention and care it deserves. Give him that chance.
But if you determine you can't stay in the marriage and keep your dignity, I'd say leave.
2006-07-14 23:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by some chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this : Everyone deserves a second chance BUT NOT A THIRD, FOURTH, FIFTH, ECT...
It depends if its the first time, and if hes really sorry and regretful about it.
My husband cheated on 6 years ago, and never again. WE were young, and after two years of dating, we had our first son. He cried, apologized,begged... and he paid for it. He still does.
I told him "yes, everyone deserves a second chance, but not a third chance, or fourth chance etc... I cant trust you anymore, and why would you want to be with me knowing that I dont trust you, and that I will give you hell about everything." I told him if he wants me to take him back, it would have to be on my terms. He agreed to only go to work and back. He couldnt go anywhere without me. I told him if he didnt like that then dont be with me, but he loved me enough to put up with it all. He isnt allowed any boys night out, if he wants to have fun, I have to come with him. He wanted me back, he has to pay for it right. If he didnt like it, he could leave, and I tell him that all the time. I really dont care, because I know I am not ugly, and I could move on quickly with another man if I want. But it doesnt mean I will stop loving him , of course it would take time to get over him, but still, im not worried, because I know I can eventually. I was in two serious relationships before him, and both times, I was cheated on. I moved on quickly and I am not afraid to be alone. I enjoy my kids, and all i need is them.
2006-07-14 23:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isnt any guy worth staying with if he cheats. Trust me! I was married for two years he cheated on me with my best friend and left me two days before i was due to be induced with my daughter to move in with his pregnant girlfriend. and i didnt know about anyof it till we were through. I will never be with a guy again if i cant trust him and if he cheats he is out the door! and i give the same advice cause once a cheater always a cheater
2006-07-14 23:14:12 · answer #7 · answered by zee_68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been married? how many times has he cheated? who was it with? what happened to spark it? Most ans. would be instantly to leave but consider many things. Even counselors will tell you that. Always demand counseling to find out what happened. Remember cheating is a symptom of the problems that came before it!!!!
2006-07-14 23:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by lckuconn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him (hopefully with some evidence, not just suspicions) and wait for his answer. Even if he has some reason (including blaming you for myriad things), he has to be remorseful, open to counseling and willing to bend over backwords to regain your trust.
If he isn't will to work at it, then he has given up. If that's the case, file for divorce. You can get a complete online, no-contest divorce at www.completecase.com.
2006-07-14 23:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheat on him.
I'm willing 2 help u, just email me with a day,time & a place (we can use my place)
I'm in Gosford,just near the railway station.
2006-07-14 23:43:59 · answer #10 · answered by ozzzybloke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋