my daughter is 17 and has a 2 yr old daughter herself, i work 40 hrs a week, i have 6 other children of my own i need to worry about and she has no respect for me, only herself and what she wants. what can i do to make her see what i do, i do it for her and her daughter too and that she should respect my rules, i cant kick her out because i know she is not ready to take on that responsibility with a baby. Please any advice will help.
2006-07-14 15:53:19 · 14 answers · asked by sassy_girl200501 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
she does have a job which i got her, but all she buys for her baby is the diapers and some clothes. I supply the rest..
2006-07-14 17:23:44 · update #1
the answer is not to be negative your the parent and currantly the guardian in this situation until shes 18 and just cutting her off will lead to even more problems try not to tell her how to raise her child and go see a counselour.
2006-07-14 17:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by RuKuS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This must be a very tough time for you. I believe that you should make a balance between the two. You cannot completely kick your daughter out of your life, but you can not let her freeload off of you. There must be a time when you must put your foot down and call intervention. Your daughter must learn to support her self and not rely on you. Imagine what example this is setting for your 6 other kids! They will think they can rely on you for anything, and go out and party while you run the free babysitting service at home. Encourage your daughter to finish high school, or if she has dropped out, you should push her to take a GED. Tell her to get a job and set up a stable future for her daughter. If all of this fails, i am afraid you have no choice but to try to take custody of the child and cut off your daughter and let her help her self. Tough love is very hard to accept, but it must happen for your daughter to grow up. I think if you follow this, both of you will come out stronger than before.
2006-07-14 16:08:07 · answer #2 · answered by rajiv r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not going to respect you until she gets out into the real world and has to make her own way. There are a lot of government programs out there that can help her. If it were me, I would give her a deadline in which she has to move out of the house, get her set up in these government programs, and send her on her way. Give her some time, and if she can't make it on her own with the 2 yr. old, I would take legal action to get primary residence of the child until your daughter is responsible enough to take care of her. Here is a site that might get you started...
2006-07-14 16:05:44 · answer #3 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard, and she is your daughter and it hurts you... but truth is you need to start showing some tough love... whether that may be slapping her a good one, or kicking her out and keeping the kid with you.
its about time she grew up and learned about responsibility. as soon as she popped her kid out, you should have started treating her as an adult. and that means, go and finish school, or go and find yourself a job. she shouldnt have the same rights in your house as the rest of your children do... and if she wants them, she better work for them, whether it be getting a job, or doing more around the house, and giving you the respect you deserve.
how is she going to feel when her daughter grows up and treats her the way she is treating you? what is she going to do if something happens to you and you are not around to take care of her and her child? nobody likes to be disrespected, but, you have got to get that respect back, or you will never win with her.
2006-07-14 16:13:41 · answer #4 · answered by LiLiTh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 17 when I had my son and no one supported me. I did not know how to take care of myself let alone a child but, guess what?? I learned. I now have a happy, healthy, well adjusted 26 year old.
If she can't respect you or your rules then I think it's time for her to have a taste of the real world. She will learn respect quick .I think you have your hands full enough without having to deal with her too! Good luck to you!
2006-07-14 16:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by mardaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is hard cause you know you won't throw her out, but i think in this case you have to do something drastic such as that because she has to learn , and you know maybe just cause shes not responsible with you doesn't mean she wont grow up fast and do things right if she was made to . see this is a case where tough love has to come in . it's the only way shes going to learn. OK i have the same thing at my house but i asked my daughter one day , how would you do on ur own you don't do anything here , and she said yea but on my own I'd have no choice mom and i would do it
2006-07-14 16:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter was old enough to have a child, insist that she either give respect or find other housing.
I would also insist that she find a job so she can pay support, if you don't she will never learn responsibility & will have more children which you will support while your daughter does what she wants
2006-07-14 16:20:14 · answer #7 · answered by cobots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-07 22:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by laseter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with cutie pie. I'm 20 with a 15 month old and a 27 month old. I NEVER asked my parents to support my children and I. I NEVER went and got welfare. Their father and I are together and we take care of our own responsibilities. If your daughter doesn't want to grow up with your help, she needs to learn how to do it on her own.
2006-07-14 16:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to respect your daughter and maybe consider what your doing to aggravate the situation are you saying stuff like you know by letting her eat sweets she won't sleep ,etc or interfering when she is trying to discipline her daughter?
2006-07-14 18:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋