how much porn is too much?

Question

My fiancê is a totally sweet guy, and we seem to have no problems, but I found a bunch of pornographic pictures on his computer by accident today- I think it's normal for guys to look at it, but should I say anythig?? How much is too much, and should I be worried?

Answer 1

Unfortunately Honey, guys will be guys and guys like to look at porn. It's rude, perverted, immature and it makes you feel like sh*t, huh? Like you're not good enough. I am always honest about my feelings to my husband. You should be, too. Just tell him how you feel.

Answer 2

when you say a bunch are you talking like several different files or just a few of like emails
I am a guy and I get so much of that crap in my spam box EVERYDAY but I don't look at it or save it
IF the pics are from a pay site you need to ask him about it
Could it be that they were on his PC before you
got together with him ?
Either way if it offends you you should tell him you know they are there and let him decide what he wants more you or them
I have seen guys I know go through that and all but one chose the live girl over the pics
and the other......Well he is in jail (NO LIE)
but his was always a druggie and that is what got him busted not the porn
good luck to you

Answer 3

funnyface...great question...I am a normal married guy who is happy but I still have my own collection...my honest opinion is to bring up the topic...say you found them...tell him if you liked anything..or at least say you were curious. You have a LONG life ahead of you funny, this is VERY normal...and quite frankly...the more honest you are too each other about desires and fantasies...and working together to make BOTH of yalls fantasies come true...that is the most healthy thing in the world...and if you want to be with someone for the next 75 years...be as supportive about something like this as possible....and as long as he is using this for visual stimulation and healthy things...it can actually help yalls relationship after the initial marriage high wears off...best of luck

Answer 4

There are positive and nurturing ways to build relationships. Focus on communication, discuss things, and give each other options. Be thoughtful, introspective, and open-minded. When communicating, recommend you explore topics, discuss thoughts, feelings, sensitivities and perceptions LONG before deciding if something is 'right' or 'wrong'. Those labels are horrible, yet they are what we humans tend to boil things down to.

I'd heartily recommend an upbeat discussion of porn in general, see what you can do to nurture his interests, find areas sexually you enjoy and be sure to share that with him. See what you can do to make things work. Be positive, be proactive, be encouraging. Be supportive of his point of view and that you welcome hearing, seeing and learning more of his interests. Watch for his personal interest and attention to what YOU want.

By taking this approach, you'll find it FAR more likely that He will open up, take your interest seriouisly on this and the thousands of other topics you'll encounter and discuss the rest of your lives together.

Isn't the point to find a man you can love because of who they are, how they make you feel? Well, if you go this route and actively SEEK common ground with him, be supportive and participate WITH him in the things you've found, then you'll find him approaching you the same way. At least it will be FAR more likely.

Encourage open, candid, blunt, uninhibited discussions, actively LISTEN to his point of view while encouraging him to do the same. In my opinion this (and the above) should be the normal approach for EVERY topic.

With this approach you'll be far less likely to see him get turned off, close his mind, shut you out. Others here have suggested things like TELLING him what you don't like and that if he is 'decent' he will pay attention and respect you. Consider what I've said above and this 'alternative' approach suggested by others and you determine for yourself what will bring you the most success!

How much is too much??? Answers to questions like that are relative. If your discussions don't go well, if he avoids serious discussions with you on it..... then 1 pic can be a BAD indicator. If he actively participates with you, and the two of you can SHARE in this activity in pleasing ways, then 1 BILLION pictures would'nt be bothersome nor offensive to either of you. Again, i'd heartily recommend you focus on what you can do, what you can give to make the relationship work. 'WORRYING' needlessly, or 'giving him a piece of your mind' will start the ball rolling down the road you don't want to go in, will more than likely result in pushing him away, if not at least him closing off this from you and hiding it in the future. Partly cause he doesn't think or feel you can handle it, much less love him BECAUSE of it.

Holly_F (not sure of the rest of the name) has a wonderful perspective on this, decently open minded and positively encouraging at the same time. :)

Good luck and I wish you a most wonderful relationship!!!

Answer 5

OK - I buy the whole "it's normal to be curious" thing ... but good grief! If they are constantly masturbating while looking at porn - they're gonna wear it out!

I think it can become an addiction like anything else and can be dangerous to the health of your relationship.

Ask him about it - If he gets really defensive, find someone else!

Answer 6

porn is very addicting but dont make a big deal of it. it may be a minor thing. if you blow it up it could become a huge fight because he checked out a porn site or two. just tell him you feel uncomfortable he will understand. Even though he still might look on occasion he wont do it as much.

Answer 7

Its too much when he has to look at that to get turned on and then goes and has sex with you. After looking at perfect fake airbrushed bodies sooner or later it's gonna effect his satifaction with looking at you.If it doesn't bother you than I guess thats fine.Every relationship is different.I dont let my husband look at that garbage.Nothing good comes from lustful thoughts produced by fake-fantasy perfect looking women.If he needs something else other than you to help meet his sexual needs and that bothers you then let him know that BEFORE you get married.But from personal experiance and knowing other married couples whose lives have been destroyed from porn obsession I wouldn't advise letting him have a porn free-for-all.

Answer 8

Yes

Answer 9

Man,this is a delicate subject. I'd worry if it's strange or sick things being done,beastiality,sex with minors,that type of thing,or something illegal. I don't know,guys do look at it,but since my ex just went to jail for something related to this,now I'm wary of any guy who has it,just tell him it makes you uncomfortable,see what happens./

Answer 10

netdog porn filter: http://www.netdogsoft.com
you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet.