ok, this is going to soud really bad but here is my story...
I am a transexual. I have been dating my dream man for 6 months. He thinks that i am a women still. I told him that i didn't want to be intimate until we where married (but i really didnt have the courage to tell him). Last weekend he asked me to marry him. How can i tell him that i am a man? I'm afraid that he is going to leave me. Should i wait until we are married so its harder for him to leave me? HELP!
2006-07-14 14:12:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think it is completely unfair of you to be lying to him for this long. You owe him the truth no matter what the outcome. Good luck.
2006-07-14 14:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by sahm2boys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the problems your having, but to be honest there is very little hope for this relationship. It's based on a lie. Even if he would have had no problem with your being male, he's going to have a huge problem with you lying to him for your entire relationship. I'm sure your situation is excessivly difficult and I don't know how you can make it easier, but don't marry him, not like that. Fact is, under the oh so compassionate laws in this country the marriage wouldn't even be legal or binding, so it wouldn't keep him around if he wanted to go. Be honest with him.
2006-07-14 21:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by S J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't make it harder for him to leave you..because the marriage won't be legal.
I do understand somewhat the fear of being out to the one you love. My girlfriend also an MtF was completely honest with me from the beginning. It's not something to be ashamed of..because it's a part of who you are. Now..if you were post-op..that might be a different story but you can't hide from him in the bedroom for all that long ;)
I wish you luck honey..feel free to message me if you want to talk some more.
2006-07-15 11:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by kitty_in_the_outback 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize you don't want to lose him, but you must tell him immediately. Your entire relationship is based on a lie. How can he know if he really loves you when he doesn't know the TRUE you? You're not being fair to him
Getting married will not make it harder for him to leave. If you get married without telling him, it's fraud. That's grounds for him to file for an annulment. I wish you luck.
2006-07-14 21:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this on T.V alot and one thing you should have been honest with him from the start. Ask your self if it was you in his shoes wouldnt you wnat some one to be honest with you. And I dont see that you care for him that much cause if you did you would have already told him. Beware that if you do tell him be sure you are not alone. Dont get married cause that is trapment and it is wrong. You need to face up to who you are and stop playing games with men.
2006-07-14 21:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no you need to tell him the true even if the true cost you your relationship. Is not fair to keep this lie for him neither for you. You imagine if you tell him about this after he marry you he is going to feel betray. If he really love you as a person not as a gender he is going to accept you just the way you are but if not you just have to accept his free will.Good luck!
2006-07-14 21:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mamarita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sweet that you love each other but a huge part of relationships is being honest with each other. if i were in your situation i would tell him i have something important to tell him before you two decide to get married. tell him that you love him & speak your heart & tell him the truth. & if you know that he doesnt want to be with a man then maybe you can find a way to talk about it & make it work. best of luck!
2006-07-14 21:19:16 · answer #7 · answered by wonderwoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello ? how can you wait till your married to tell him your a man ? the marriage would be a sham & you could end up in court. i know its hard but you HAVE to tell him now. i know it wont be easy but make sure your on your own. so at least if he has a thing about gay people it will be a secret between you two. BUT you never know he may also be gay keep your fingers crossed. good luck.
2006-07-14 21:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you are really in a tough situation. i feel for you but you already know what you have to do.there is only one answer .the truth.he may already know the truth but is afraid to admit to himself about his own sexuality.good luck
2006-07-14 21:22:45 · answer #9 · answered by mareescores 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book ur place on Jerry now! www.jerryspringer.com n be sure to lemme know when ur on so i can watch! :-D keep doin yo thang! peace!
2006-07-14 21:21:13 · answer #10 · answered by Karie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋