You have been married twenty years and find out your partner has cheated once ten years ago What would you do?

Answer 1

That would be hard, I don't know if i could get over it....

Answer 2

I hope your partner realizes that they may have cheated ten years ago, but your wounds are new. You are in a situation that could go either way, you make a better relationship or this could competely tear it apart. How has the last ten years been? If you have been happy and satisfied, I would try to forget it and go on. If the relationship has been rocky then take time to really think about things, before jumping the gun. Me, if it's been good in the past, I would let it go-but that is if my partner is willing to give time to get over the hurt and the betrayal. If they can't understand why I am upset, then I definitely would give them a problem. Talk and find out why it happened so the past mistake doesn't happen again. Please, realize why they didn't tell you also, because they didn't want to loose you. So, you have to respect them for that, but doesn't help with the pain of a fractured heart. I hope it works out for you, and I wish you the best of luck....God bless....

Answer 3

Dude, if you are married twenty years and she only cheated once, ten years ago, don't you think she learned that the grass isn't greener on the other side? It would be hard, but think about it, she has stopped. She's not doing it anymore.

Sometimes you have to do something before you learn the hard way. So what I would do, is cheriesh her and love her and be there for her.

She had a huge secret for that long. Do NOT throw your marriage away for something that happened that long ago. But maybe it would be good to let her know you are hurt though, but you are winning to hang in there if she still wants too. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

First off, DUDE, I am so sorry. I feel for you. Have a drink on me my brother. I can only imagine the mental state you are in right now. It's like you everything was right and good in the world...then you found out this, and the world stopped spinning...and everything you thought was real wasn't anymore, huh? She isnt the girl you thought she was anymore, huh? Wow, that is the harest, huh?

How did you find out she cheated?

Have you checked out womensinfidelity.com yet?

No one should tell you what to do. You have to live with the consequences of your decision. If I were you, how I would make my decision is...I would have to decide if I could live the rest of my life, with her, not dwelling on what she did. I would have to decided if I could move on and not beat myself or her up mentally for what she did. I would have to decide if I could ever view her as the girl I thought she was ever again. I would have to decide if I could fully forgive her for the massive pain that she caused me. I would have to decide if I could trust her, fully, again. I would, more or less, have to decide if I could ever respect her again, because, if not, life would be miserable with her forever.

Do whatever you think you can live with and will make you the happiest. Whatever you do, don't allow her to blame you, make you feel responsible and play you for a fool. Don't allow yourself to get down whenever she lashes out at you for holding her accountable. Cheating is not right, no matter what.

I wish you the best of luck dude. Do your best to keep your sanity through this situation. It is just so unfair. Do your best to hold your head up.

This is probably the toughest decision you will ever have to make in your life. Whatever you decide to do, even though it will be hard, don't second guess yourself. There is no right or wrong answer.

Stay Up Playa!

Answer 5

I think I would cry...and then get over it. But make him grovel for a while...I mean..it happened 10 years ago....I wouldn't hold him responsible...who knows what kind of a ***** you were being then? No offense or anything..but why not look back and try to remember where he relationship was at that time.

I just don't think 20 years is worth giving up over a mistake made 10 years ago.

Answer 6

let it go im sure your partner regrets it sometimes its a midlife thing after 20 years if they only cheated once consider yourself lucky. ask yourself this if you found out 10 years ago would you have left? and has the last 10 years been happy? sometimes cheating helps a marriage. you realize what you have and its not worth loosing

Answer 7

It doesn't matter if it was 10, 20 or 30 years ago. It was done and I wouldn't tolerate that at all and wouldn't forgive or forget. Cheating is Cheating, no matter how long ago it was. Marriage Vows should be taken seriously.

Answer 8

Well, it's really nothing you can do because you didn't know.If it happened ten years ago and things have been going fine since then keep moving on and be happy.Same thing happened to me I chose to forgive because i didn't find out until 3 years later.I moved on and told him if I found out again your out.But good Luck to you and follow your heart it will lead you .

Answer 9

Only once? For certain?
Forgive and try to forget. He evidently learned his lesson and decided that he loved you too much to do it again.
Even armed robbery has a statute of limitations...it's been 10 years, if you love him, continue to do so.

Answer 10

I would find out If His or her contact is lost with whome theyve cheated.. then I would go from there.. IF they are still friends id have it ended or let them chose - But they cant have both. =0)

Answer 11

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can. It will also give you a bird's eye view into a guy's psyche.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck