What would you do when you are married and not getting enough?

Question

Yes I am married and yes I love her very much. No problem there. Only problem is that I don't get enough action. She's very attentive and all and yes I do have great sex with her. I will be with her all my life for sure! She's short and I am tall. I don't wanna add any more detail than that folks!

Answer 1

I can totally sympathize with you. I too am so in love with my husband. He is a wonderful provider, father, lover and my best friend. However, our sex drives are quite different at times. He would love it, I know, if I would step it up and be the aggressor or engage more often at times than I do. Let me tell you that I have three small children...8, 3, & 1. I am often single parenting while hubby is traveling and out of town a lot. Needless to say I am a tired woman. ( I miss those days when I was able to whisk myself off to my job, dressed to the teeth, makeup, jewels, smelling great and feeling like I had the world by the balls.... )When one child or the other is not in our bed or up in the night needing this that or the other, if I can actually close my eyes and get some quality sleep, that I so desperately need, I resent being poked and prodded at all night long, night after night. It's a tough spot to be in. I appreciate that he finds me so desireable and loves me, I do, but I sometimes engage just to get the job done and that isn't the greatest way to deal with the situation I'm sure, but it seems to be what works for now. We seem to go in spurts. No pun intended...I guess what I'm suggesting is try to understand what the dynamics are in the relationship right now. There are a million factors that could be playing into what's going on in the bedroom that parallel what's going on in the relationship outside of the bedroom. Do you know what I mean? Often the "cap off the toothpaste" is not the real issue. I do find that what happens in our bedroom often reflects what's going on in the day to day. If we don't "feel connected" mentally it usually shows up in the bedroom. You might try a little romance, bring it back to the early days in your relationship reflecting on what the things were that you both enjoyed doing together, what attracted you to eachother. Maybe take it outside of "the norm" someplace new a "spontanious plan" LOL...maybe a trip to an adult store together, a sexy movie, some toys perhaps. I'm not sure what to tell you. Talk about it for sure though. She can't change what she doesn't know is not working. Search your heart and hers. See what comes up...again, no pun intended! Good luck and give it time and patience. It's a tough part of a relationship to keep perfect forever!

Answer 2

well I say make her feel sexier. If she feels sexier then she'll want to have more sex. period. That's really all there is to it.

Of course, have you talked to her about this? And too what are her ideas on not enough? I mean, to some, getting action 4-6 times a week is not enough...and to others it could mean not getting it every day. To me, not enough is if I'm wanting it and I ain't getting it. And we could have just done it 3 times each day for that last week....Or not at all for the last week. So I think if you two sit down and clarify what you both want/need out of the sexual side then I think you will find yourself with more.

Maybe you just need to crank em off more? lol..sorry...just suggesting..lol

Answer 3

You should ask her what the problem is. You might need to show her a little bit of romance! A change of scenery wouldn't hurt! Maybe you have become a little too predictable. Surprise her sometimes! Set the mood! Sweep her off of her feet! Try a surprise dinner with candles, a new satin bed sheet with rose petals on it! Something! Anything but the USUAL! Use your imagination but make sure that she is completely caught by surprise!

Answer 4

This is what you should do. Redo the entire bedroom with beautful warm glowy colors and soften the lighting with just one lamp with a beautiful warm colored bulb like red or orange. Then light maybe one or two candles. Shower and get yourself looking impeccable. Pick her up where she works and take her out to a romantic restaurant all dressed up and handsome looking. Then when you get home and she goes into the bedroom....catch her off guard, go into the bedroom and give her that look and corner her in a seductive manner and keep holding eye contact. Don't look away and it should become intense. That should be all it takes.

Answer 5

The only thing I can say is to masturbate.....other than that everything else will just get you a nice divorce....maybe if you talk to her and tell her you would like to have sex a little more often and see what she says....and if she doesn't want to then ask her is there maybe something you guys can work out because you enjoy sex a little more often.....man...thats a tough situation.....I myself believe deeply in marriage and committing to one person....but my sexual needs are very high and would definitely want someone that could keep up.....doesn't mean my opinion would change of my life partner because of that fact....but something would definitely need to be worked out....good luck man....I feel for you.

Answer 6

im not sure what you being tall and her being short has to do with it, if you arent getting enough sex its either because shes working and taking care of kids and a house, or her hormone level is dropping , or because she doesnt think you are half as hot as she thought you might be. all men think they want more sex than they are getting, i knew a guy who complained about that for a year. so i went to see him and of all the stupid assed things he said i wanted too much . im now with someone who used to want more than he got from his women and now he cant keep up at all, but im hanging on.

Answer 7

Let´s face it you may be very much in love but if she doesn´t give you the amount of sugar you require you are headed for disaster, that is "D" word or permanent frustration on your part, I bet that if you don´t confront this now you will be getting less and less every month. Talk to her and make it happen before is to late. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 8

Spend more time doing stuff for her and engage in more physical contact that doesn't lead to sex. IE, rub her back, tickle her feet, do whatever nice things she enjoys having done. You'll find that when you've tickled her back for an hour before dinner, she'll be a lot more receptive to making love at bedtime.

Best wishes and God bless.

Answer 9

If you screw around anymore than that then you're gonna lose her! You have a wife...that you say you love...but you want more action? Well I will call you "schit stupid". Keep your wife especially if you have kids....if you don't then get rid of her and let her find somone that will appreciate her. It sounds like you're not really happy with her and your letter reeks of you trying to convince yourself that you are.

Let her go and then you can get "enough".

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can.
http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 10

It sounds to me as though you are putting your needs above your wife's. This is mistake number one that many people make, especially men, whose sex drive is normally much stronger than a woman's.
This is where you need to place your efforts:
1) If you want her to spend more time with you intimately, you MUST put her emotional needs first. In other words, do something special for her, such as get a babysitter for the kids, cook a nice meal, and talk to without being sexual until she initiates the sexual talk - and do all of these things (i.e. babysitter to talk) without asking her for making any of the arrangements. Women need to feel appreciated for who they are as a person, not to feel as though they are just a body made to satisfy a man's needs, and so if you can do something for her that makes her feel special without making her feel obligated to give in to your personal demands, will make her sexual feelings stir.
2) Most women need to hear compliments, but with a catch: if you give a compliment in expection of getting something in return, you will slowly, with each time you are insincere, turn her off from wanting to be intimate with you. The sexiest thing to hear is a comment about how well she does something or wears something (this is much different than telling her how great she looks in lingere or naked - I am talking about completely non-sexual comments here) Randomly, throughout the day you should tell her something nice about something she does. As long as you are sincere, she will be melting in your hand.
3) Do not force her to participating in something pornographic or sexual to think that she will be in the mood more often. If you know she is not in the mood for love and you can't bear it anymore, do not let her know about it or see any of the stuff you think you need to help you get off. Without making a fuss, quietly take yourself to the bathroom and take care of your needs peacefully without telling her what you did. If you think you can get her excited by making her feel guilty for forcing you to use your hand, she will soon tire of you. So keep that stuff to yourself, or better yet, avoid the sexy pictures and you may find that your libido will more closely start matching hers.
I hope that this helps a little. It is all about forgetting about you and putting your partner's needs first. Everyone wears a little sign on their heart that says, "Make me feel special." When you make the first move and put the first effort to place her on a pedestal, she will be more likely to want to spend extra close time with you.