Have kids together, but never really been "soul mates". We like eachother, but one of us is more 'in love' than the other... just looking for objective opinions.
2006-07-14 11:53:24 · 13 answers · asked by freyajr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it is always difficult to have objective opinions.
If that is of any help, I married my "non-soul-mate" who probably did not love me as much as I did love him, and we are now contemplating divorce (we also like each other, took 2 decades to take us to potential separation).
More than this is not easy to say because every situation is different.
I would be tempted to say that if you have any doubts, do not jump.
(Psycho bit here: when I married, I deeply felt I was registering to join a convent! Did it stop me? No. Should it have stopped me? Well, you decide).
Good luck in any decision you take. We had the kids after marrying. Your case is different and you want to think about them too -although not sure what would be the added value for them if you marry.
2006-07-14 12:15:40 · answer #1 · answered by Claire 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, the answer is usually "no." Since you two already have kids (and maybe a life?) together, go to counselling. "Soul mates" are not required for a happy marriage.
2006-07-14 19:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you marry someone, take a GOOD look at his/her family, are the parents together? how were they raised? Is their parents alcoholics? I learned you marry the mirror image of their family, they are a product of their enviroment, if they were hit, your kids will be, if their dad was leanent, so will they. If this person loves you more, you have it made, you will love them for all the love they give you. You grow deeper with all lifes challenges, then you look back & say we survived it together. trust me, I had 4 stepkids, & my 2, we were opposites in parenting, but I stayed, & they all moved out finally!!
2006-07-14 19:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by silverfox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the only thing i can say is if the both of you dont feel true love i suggest not getting married because its just going to hurt the kids in the end if your together just for them thats not a good reason, get out dont hurt him anymore or the other way dont get hurt anymore.
2006-07-14 18:57:56 · answer #4 · answered by precious_denisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not sure, or even have a little doubt, then DONT DO IT. Marriage is a HUGE thing, and it can be a life time of pain if you do it with the wrong person
2006-07-14 19:28:27 · answer #5 · answered by ikuwaiian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you seek couples counseling before you jump the broom then if you still have doubts don't do it until they are clear divorces are ugly and expensive and you never divorce the same person you married...good luck!
2006-07-14 18:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by YD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married if you're not sure. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and if you're not ready to make that commitment, why go through it all?
2006-07-14 19:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by Tim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop lying to yourself; if it ain't 'good' now, it's not going to get better when you say 'I do'.
DO NOT take the issue to the altar IF you're not sure.
It would really be a waste of time and effort.
2006-07-15 18:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not sure about it have children together and happy why change anything now?
2006-07-14 19:20:19 · answer #9 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should get married for the kids sake.
2006-07-14 18:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by MyNickName 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋