my best friend moved to my state 4 months ago. she has a good job now and is slowly saving up enough to get her own place and get on her feet. But one day she left her journal wide open and I went toput it away. well... whilie putting it away I glance at it and saw my brother's name and said what is she doing writing about him. well I looked, and I have found that she and my brother ( who's married w/lots of children) have secretly been having an affair for the last 2 months. They have been meeting secretly, having lunch dates, sex dates Instant messaging each other at night ( she left that evidence on the computer screen one day)and both covering it well. I am upset. why ..because I can't belive that the both of them are ruining things that they have. My brother is ruining his family his health by sleeping with her( she has a rep), and my friend is ruining our friendship because she is keeping this. I don't want to be in the middle, especially when wifey finds out what to do??
2006-07-14 11:44:39 · 4 answers · asked by want-my-advice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Unfortunatly you accidently have come across something you
would rather not know. Sinse it was her end of it that gave you information go to her first. Take her hands and tell her what happened, how you accidently found out. Don't put emotions in to this or this will be a cat fight. Calmly tell her that you don't approve and that is will be only distructive to her and to your brother and his family.Give her a hug and tell her that you love her but you can't stand by and see this happen. Tell her that you will not go to your brother unless this doesn't stop.
If you do tell your brother, do the same thing. Leave out being judgmental and arguments. Just state the facts that you accidently found out and that you are worried about him rueining his life and his family. Tell him that you know you can't make him stop and that you hope he does.
Then step back and let the two of them do what they want to do. In the end you can't change their behavior you can only state your opinion and then step back. Then if it is up to you if you can deal being around either of them. They are both grown ups and are accountable for their behavior. I know it will be hard for you to sit back and wait. I am not sure about telling your sister in law about though, She would be devistated and your brother will blame you for his marriage troubles even if he is the one is wrong
.
The other thing to do is sit back and watch them ruin their lives.
I don't think it is your job to fix this. But, it is ok for you to acknowledge it. then let them make their own choices.
It's going to be nasty if they don't stop.
2006-07-14 12:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hope they end it themselves. I wouldn't interfere. But if wifey finds out, don't let her know that you knew it was going on, or you'll lose her friendship too. Wifey will be mad at you too.
2006-07-14 18:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact me for a personal reply
2006-07-14 18:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really tough, I am sorry. They, unfortunately, have to make their own choices. Now it is time to make yours- really analyze what upsets you. Weight the situation, this is your family. You will make the right choice...
2006-07-14 18:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by despondent 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋