How do I get over my shyness?

Question

It's difficult for me to carry on conversations with people, since my mind goes blank right after they say something. All I can do is nod my head and smile. And then afterwards, I'm like, "Darn, I should have said this or that," I'm pretty sure this is a result of being shy. Advice, please.

Answer 1

Shyness is not to be overcome easily. Try to take chances, Be random, be honest and be yourself. If you can't do those then simply drop your self image and make a complete fool of yourself sometimes. It will be hard, but I have faith in you.
Oh, and don't drink. Way too many people drink as a way out.

Answer 2

Try having some questions ready for people. That way you'll be focused on what they're answering, it will get you into the flow of a conversation. Pick things that interest you.

Once that works, start listening to others conversations and ask questions about what interest them.

It's an easy way to break the "mind blank" syndrome.

Some other ways - join a group like toastmasters. Their whole focus is on speaking and getting over phobias and shyness when speaking infront of people!

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Several recent studies indicate that much of shyness is genetic. So you can only get over it so much. One bit of good news is that shyness is like hair. -- people tend to naturally lose a lot of it as they get older.

Also, remember that the more confidence you feel in a situation, the less shy you will be, so find ways to develop confidence. You can practice your conversational skills with people you feel comfortable around, and that may give you more confidence that you can do OK talking to others as well.

Perhaps you lack confidence because you are afraid of criticism and/or disapproval. You could practice dealing with such negative situations in the safe environment of a chat room or debate oriented message board. Then you might feel more able to handle "real world" conflict should it happen.

Answer 4

you do not mention your age, so...You might want to look at where the belief/ feelings of being shy originated from. is it something you learned from your family environment? possibly feelings of not being worthy enough to being heard? or what you have said before was deemed stupid?....or is it because you want to be wise in what you say, and like to take your time to process your response? i would look at that. shyness is a reaction/response to what is going on inside.

Answer 5

i used to have that problem but it was BAD. i used to meet some one and then run away and cry. For some reason i was afraid of them. afraid of EVERY ONE. excepted my family but even some of my relatives. to tell the truth i didn't truly get over it. now I'm just really paranoid. but i had to lear that people weren't going to hurt me.but i was kinda forced out of it too

Answer 6

People appreciate a good listener. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just try real hard to pay attention. If you focus the right words should come to you.

Answer 7

I have that problem sometimes. Think of questions to ask them. If you're in school, you could ask them, "What classes are you taking?" or "what kind of music do you like?" "What kinds of movies do you watch?"

People like to talk about themselves! After they've answered your question, you could either agree or disagree. Disagreeing is ok as long as you do it nicely.

Answer 8

it's ok--just be yourself and try your best to relax. it's only life afterall. if you're of age, a few drinks may help in certain situations.

Answer 9

think how short life is and if it is worth wasting it worring what other people think of you...put yourself on the line and grab your fears by the nuts....say what you have to say...try it one time as if you really knew what you said and others will percieve your strenght, feeding that back to you...all you have to do is break the ice of the first time...

Answer 10

ill tell u wen i get over mines