i am so confused my soon to be husband is so demanding and mean i don't know what to do i love him so much hel

Question

we've been together for a year and 7 months on the 17th of july i'm just so confused and worried please help me thannks

Answer 1

Why do you Love someone who is demanding and MEAN? And on top of that marry someone you have only been with for a year & 7 months who is MEAN???
Do you not like yourself very much? He won't change...he'll more than likely just get worse...Do you enjoy being a doormat ? Please...if you have any self respect...RUN...and wait for a man who is worth loving.

Answer 2

You need to know this. If he really loves and cherishes you, he wouldn't be cruel to you. If he really wants this marriage to last, than he should treat you like a queen. My parents have been married with each other for 16 years all because my dad accepts the fact that my mom runs the house and he respects and backs her up. He puts her before anything in the world. If he's mean to you, you may be in for an abusive marriage. If he's nothing but mean to you, he isn't worth it. Get out now while you still can. My parents are all too aware of this because they both work in law enforcement. Remember, there are people who do care about you and want the best for you. If you need more guidance, look to your parents. Your dad will defend you if need be. Every dad has the instinct that no guy is good enough for his daughter so he will defend you. But above all, don't be blinded by this so called love. That's what's going to get you screwed for the rest of your life. I'll pray for you.

Answer 3

Oh Nicole,

Please don't go through with the marriage. You are headed for disaster. During the dating period in a relationship most people are showing their best side to their partner. If this is his best honey, you are in for hell. If he is being mean now, what do you think is going to happen a couple of years down the road? What about children....don't bring a child into the world with that man being the father. Children need love.

You will get past the feelings if you leave him. It will take time but you will. You'll never get past them if you marry into them. He will scar you for life.

I don't know if you will even read this answer it's so far down the page, but please take the advice from others on here.

Good Luck and Don't Let Him Bring You Down!

Answer 4

Dear heart,you might want to reconsider marrying him at all. It doesn't sound like a very good recipe for a happy marriage right now. Talk to someone--relative, pastor, counsellor--someone who is not involved to help you. But if he's mean and demanding before you are married, it will probably only get worse afterward.

Answer 5

Look I been in the same boat as you before and I thought it was all going to work out that I loved him so much but you know what he never changed and I got bitchier ever week until we took a break like a real one you don't see them for a few months and you know what I met someone even better and fell in love even harder I thought it would never happen I though the other guy was my soul mate but he wasn't leaving him was the best thing I ever did for myself so if your not happy don't stay GOOD LUCK IN YOUR HAPPINESS

Answer 6

He will get way worse when you are married. Don't be pressured into getting married from anyone. If you think that there is much pain now...wait until you are married it will be worse. Demanding means controlling and that is not a good basis to start a marriage. I wouldn't do it if I were you.

Answer 7

How is he demanding? is it overwhelming fo ryou that he asks you to do all fo rhim? That would be a tough one. But since I do not know exactly what demands he makes on you, my only advice to you is that if you have fear now and are about to get married, dont do it.

Do not get married unless you are 100% sure that you like wha tyou see in yr husband including wahtver demands he makes. He will not change take that for granted. Anbd marriage makes personalities clash if they are not in tune with each other's feelings and desires and ways of doing things.

If you dont agree now, back out of it before its too late. Dont go into marriage with the idea that maybe you can change him later, because you won't. Dont go into the marriage with the idea that things will get better in time, they won't. Dont go into marriage at all if you are scared , because its a lot easier to back out now than after you are married.

Ppl think that if it doeesnt work (the marriage) its easy to get out, not. It carries on another group of problems that makes it
harder and more emotioanlly draining to separate too.

ITS A LOT HARDER AFTER YOU MARRY SO EVALUATE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT GET MARRIED.

Answer 8

.
You are being emotionally battered.

You might like to look at this site about emotional abusers.

http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

Phase 1 - TENSION BUILDING:
"Tension increases", breakdown of communication, victim feels need to placate the abuser.

Phase 2 - INCIDENT:
Verbal and emotional abuse. Anger, blaming, arguing. Threats. Intimidation.

Phase 3 - RECONCILIATION:
Abuser apologizes, gives excuses, blames the victim, denies the abuse occurred, or says it wasn't as bad as the victim claims.
Phase 4 - CALM: THE Honeymoon period again.
Incident is "forgotten", no abuse is taking place.

Phase 5 - RETURN TO PHASE 1. It's called the cycle of abuse.
====================================
From my own experience I know that emotional batterers/manipulators/abusers only do this to those they perceive as weaker.
So stop being weaker.
I would postpone the wedding until you are CERTAIN that you can get this man's respect !!!
LISTEN TO ME after the wedding, it WILL get WORSE !!!

Get counseling WITH him. Stop begging him to treat you better. Demand what you want as respect...and if you don't get it...don't marry him.
Go to the site...see yourself there, and
do something to end this cycle with him.
one way or the other.

I wish you wisdom to know all there is to know about this emotional battery, and make an informed and wise decision concerning the rest of your life.
stw
.

Answer 9

if you are having doubts now - you really need to evaulate the relationship - it is only going to get worse once you tie the knot - my best friend's sister just broke up with her fiancee of like 3 years - they had been together for like 5 and was really controlling and they all didn't like how she acted when she was with him - she is strongwilled and opinionated - but when she was with him - she was on eggshells all the time and very subdued - think hard about what you are getting yourself into - love is blind - maybe you could do some pre-marriage counseling

Answer 10

if your really insisting on marrying him spite his temper, you should first lay some laws down. tell him that he has to change his attitude are because your not going to put up with it any longer. you don't need to be treated badly by anyone especially someone who you love and that says he loves you back.

a word of wisdom, don't go into a marriage with so much drama because it will only get worse not better.