i have a friend that always has a hard life, and whenever i don't hear from her in awhile she gets "mad", and goes "don't worry about me, i'm FINE just live your own life", so when i "force" her to tell me what's wrong (pretty much by sucking it up and saying i'm concerned even tho she's directing attitude towards me), she ends up saying something HORRIBLE has happened in her life (again), and that she's glad that she can talk to me...and i feel bad for not being there for her...i almost feel like it's a "job" to force it out of her for her own good. it's happening again, but we're both pretty busy and i haven't seen her in awhile. am i a bad friend if i get burned out/frustrated and end up becoming distant? i can't always force her to tell me things right?
2006-07-14 11:08:20 · 4 answers · asked by sasmallworld 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, you are not a bad friend--in fact, you are becoming a better one by not forcing her to tell you what's going on. It is her way of keeping control, that's all. If she wants you to know what is going on in her life, then she would pick up the phone or stop by to talk to you. You have no reason to feel guilty if you decide to let her be....a little distance will also show you that it is not your duty to do this. Take it easy, and leave it as it is--don't force it out of her--if she really needs to talk, she will talk to you....Good Luck
2006-07-14 11:23:13 · answer #1 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend like this too. They feel like they are "bothering" people with their problems. yet they are really causing more problems because they keep it couped up and dont tell anyone who is going on and then they act all weird. It ends up being somehting unhealthy. I have often ignored the problem and been selfish. Sometimes you dont want to be a good friend and just want them to tell you something when there is something wrong.
2006-07-14 18:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you LIKE being jerked around and manipulated? Is it working for you? What do you get out of this relationship? A friendship, to me, would be a two way connection where they listen to me and I listen to them. This doesn't sound like a two way street.
2006-07-14 18:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean, i'm in the same situation, but let me tell you , you must tell her to get it together and fix her life alone , before she drags you all the way like it happen to me.
2006-07-14 18:16:32 · answer #4 · answered by Zamurai_X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋