My husband has incurred a large debt over the past few years (for nothing) and I offered to consolidate so it is not overwhelming. Four months later, he has yet to give me a total amout required. I was hoping that this offer would allow him to get his financial life together and have us operate more as a couple than individuals. I pay for all living expenses right now and have not been receiving financial support from my husband for the past 5 years (on and off prior to 2001). I understand that I will always be the major financial contributor, but I never agreed to be the sole supporter (this has been discussed at length). I snooped recently at his bills and found out that the balance has increased since last year by a significant amount. He has been telling me that he has been making great strides in paying off the balance, but in reality he has not. I am afraid if I do this and decide to ultimately divorce him, it will hurt me in the division of property/leverage. Any suggestions
2006-07-14 10:58:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We operate individually so all my accounts are in my name and his accounts are in his name. We have only one joint account and I never deposit into it.
2006-07-14 11:07:28 · update #1
You need to speak to a lawyer now! If you are thinking of leaving him, why pay his bills. You are going to need to save and have all your money for yourself to get out of this mess. If you are going to make the marriage work, then I can see a consolidation loan would be very helpful, but would he just run up more bills, My friend did this, and her husband went out and spent the money they were saving and got more cards, now the house is mortgaged to the hilt, and she has nothing to show for it, so be careful, think about what you are going to do..but talk to a lawyer about your rights and what you would be responsible if there is a divorce. Doesn't hurt to ask and it may save you alot of heartache....God bless and good luck
2006-07-14 11:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Your enabling your husband and hurting yourself by playing this nonsensical game. Your marriage dictates that you are truthful to each other and open regarding money, yours and his regardless of who brings it to the table. When you "allow" him to get his poop in a group that deoesn't mean he gets get off the responsibility list, that means he gets put on a tight budget until the debt, living expenses and all ancillary requirements are satisfied. He may have to consider both a full time ad partime job so he can fullfill his obligations to himself, you and your marriage. You need to STOP the bullshit, save your mariage a by eliminating the BAD behavior and help him be a better man, he has no self respect and probably very little for you. If it's wrong, don't go along with it, if it's not the truth stop endorsing it, if it will destroy one or both of you get away from it! Remember the vow, richer, poorer, sickness, health, better, worse.... You said it, so did he now keep your promise and STOP the stupid *** behavior, both of YOU!
2006-07-14 18:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not pay any debt--at least not yet.
To begin with, even in a marriage the only debt you are responsible for is the one that has your name on it....so if you have a joint debt or a debt solely in your name, that's what you need to pay. If there is no name of yours on any of the debt, then it is solely his responsibility unless decided otherwise by a court...Good Luck
2006-07-14 18:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be an intelligent woman, but sometimes our hearts overrule our minds. Although I am not one to give advice on this subject, I would suggest you make a decision and "get off the fence" so to speak. Only you can make this decision and all the "answers" in the world won't help you.
2006-07-14 18:08:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs.King 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dont pay his stuff put an add in the papper bout how u r not as of this date responsible for any debt that ur man accures from this point on. call everywhere u need to to change ur bills that u want to keep in ur name n change them now. get ur own bank account and make sure he isnt on it . if u got kids go down n get custody of them.
2006-07-14 18:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one check your state laws when it comes to divorce, number two if these are bills that belong to him only dont get caught up in something that he has no intentions on paying, number three find a damn good divorce lawyer.
2006-07-14 18:03:00 · answer #6 · answered by Doctor feel good 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a lawyer. Things like this can vary a lot from state to state.
2006-07-14 18:02:15 · answer #7 · answered by Roger D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really, get a lawyer AND and accountant. Sounds like you're being taken advantage of as well as lied to.
Good luck!
2006-07-14 18:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by Bobbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As his wife, how did you not know he was doing this? Seems like he is gonna take you for a ride that you will regret!! Good luck with all that
2006-07-14 18:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by ♠♣♥Rogue♣♥♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married it is BOTH your debt and you will be liable for it as well. Marriage is also a financial contract.
2006-07-14 18:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋