I meet my fiancee over a year ago. It was back in Hawaii while he was in the Marine Corps. To shorten up this story, he moved here from his parents in Missouri to live with me. Technically we weren't engaged yet, but I feel like I sort of bullied him into proposing. I would meantion things like what my mother found online (a cheap very pretty wedding dress) or other things. I took him to the park in the next state over and he said "This is a nice place for a wedding". That was exactly why I took him there. Now I feel that after he finally did propose that I "put the gun to his head". Should I just slow down and wait for him to make the decisions? All he really has to do is say a word and I have everything done. I feel really bad. Can you all help me?
2006-07-14 08:55:11 · 8 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I also want to add that this would be the third marriage for both of us and it was HIS idea to move here for that specific reason....
2006-07-14 10:22:35 · update #1
Trust me, it is VERY difficult to force a man into anything he does not really want. Relax, he loves you and wants you to be his wife.
2006-07-14 09:05:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I know weddings, beauty, the thought of "being married" is every girls dream. Guys know girls think of marriage a lot more often then they do. I do, however, think that you might be a little too forward with what you want. Your man knows that you want to marry him but let him make his choice because there is no surprise in the proposal if he already knows your answer. You two are engaged now...just let him know that you feel that you have been pressuring him a little too much and if he is where he wants to be with you in your relationship.
Flat out ask him if he is ready for these things and let him know that it is ok if he has doubts or is not ready because most people feel that way. This is a MAJOR life decision...its ok to take it slow and make sure that this is what you both really want. You have your whole lives to be together...what's the rush?
2006-07-14 16:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by jessyb_22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My momma always said:
Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it!
The poor guy is poonany whipped! If you're this way about such an important major life decision, his life is gonna be hell until he either dies, or divorces you. My guess is, your his 'first', and he doesn't know any better, than to be wrangled in with a manipulator like you.
However, his lack of a spine, is only going to make you resent him on down the line, b/c he's such a pushover. If you conquer him now, then what?
Need to slow your 'power trip' down sister, other wise, the higher power will slow it down for you. Marriage is about equality, and give and take, not about strong arming someone into submission.
He needs to step up and take his nards in hand, and you need to chill out & let things naturally progress in that direction.
2006-07-14 16:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to slow down. If you push him even though he is going along with it he will get resentful on you. Stop making all the wedding comments and chill out. Your engaged at this point so sit back and let him bring up wedding plans.
2006-07-14 16:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell him what you just told us. You want to make sure that he really does want to marry you and he is not rushed into it. Also it is not like you have to go backwards. You can always just be engaged for a couple years. I was engaged for three years and everything turned out perfect.
2006-07-14 15:59:46 · answer #5 · answered by meisa777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come down a guy will not do anything that he doesn't want to!
2006-07-14 16:00:18 · answer #6 · answered by JulieBug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a lil' Manipulating *****. I hope it backfires..........like they usually do anyways!!!!
2006-07-14 15:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, it must be true!
2006-07-14 15:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by jhornneon23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋