This couple has came to us because my husband and the man were friends in the Navy. When the question arrose if they could stay a few weeks because they had nowhere to go we decided it was the least we could do as christians. The facts they told us before comming were not true. The female is in need of medical help and we find out they have no vehicle to find job or keep one. He has mentioned that his psych has told him he could do harm to himself or others. W have children they are gone for the summer but will not come home to an unmarried couple living here. I can find nowhere to take them . I feel helpless.
2006-07-14 08:49:55 · 13 answers · asked by candy j 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are not helpless. Just tell them to leave. It is your house. If they don't leave, call the police.
2006-07-14 08:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by Larry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most communities have assistance programs, homeless shelters, churchs who do this kind of work. Ask around, find them help, and you can drive them to it, with a clear conscience that you have done your best. Maybe your pastor at your church knows. If you still really feel guilty a SMALL gift of cash might help. The fact that they lied to you is disturbing. it does raise the question of what else they might be capable of doing.
So if help is not available, tell them the kids are coming home, and they have to go elsewhere. Don't warn them of what you are going to do, do not set a deadline for them. They will find a way to stay, or maybe even cause trouble for you. And if they do cause trouble, do not hesitate to call the cops.
Do not fell helpless. Sorry to say, there are people in this world who are professional beggers, your houseguests may be that.They are great at manipulating people to feel helpless and guilty. The term is "con artist" The I might commit suicide thing is suspicious.
Ask your pastor or someone from the church to back you up, be with you when you load up the car.with your unwanted guests, and go with you to where ever. Do not be alone with them. Ask for some prayers. It will help.
Bless your Christian heart for trying to help.
2006-07-14 09:12:04 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Try to get in touch with social services in your area. There are homeless shelters all over the place, but if you don't work in the field, it may be difficult to find one. Just be straight with them about not being able to stay with you. If you go to your state's official web page, there may be a number to social services and just tell them what you need. If he has a psych, he probably has some sort of case manager, ask him. Good luck and God bless!
2006-07-14 08:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by happymommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I think it is commendable that you are helping this couple. It does sound like they need more help than you and your husband can provide. Do you have a church home that can help? Our church home has a program that helps people in these situations by offering medical help, free counseling, and even providing vehicles for those in need. If your church does not have a program like this, I bet they know the resources that can help this couple. That is where I would start. My next step would be to contact Social Services in your area to ask for their advice and resource contacts. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-14 09:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by leahcutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Can't somebody in the Navy help them get back on their feet? It seems to me that they should.
I think you should explain to them that once your kids come back, the house will be too crowded; and you will need to space as a family. Maybe you can offer to drive them on a few appointments or job interviews. That's all i can think of.
What about your congregation? I'm sure that if you ask for help, people will provide.
Good luck!
2006-07-14 08:57:50 · answer #5 · answered by No se 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a good and generous friend. However, you need to take back your house.
Give your guests a deadline for departure. Contact a homeless organization in your town that can provide them with assistance.
2006-07-14 08:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation to be in. If it was me I would explain to them that this was gonna be acceptable for short term and that time has passed. It is not your responsibility to house this couple. ESPECIALLY if you have children and ESPECIALLY if he says he could do harm to others. Tell them you are empathetic but are no longer able to help them out as your family has to be your first priority.
Best of luck to you!!!
2006-07-14 08:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your county's department of social services. Tell them the situation. As long as they have resided with you in your county for at least 24 hours, they are considered residents. They can help her get medical treatment and him psych treatment and housing.
Good luck!
2006-07-14 08:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have children then you need to find somewhere else for these people to go. Check with your local authorities to see if there is a shelter -- your church might be able to help as well.
2006-07-14 08:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by tequila_girl98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happens to me all the time (not kidding). I usually try to figure out some sly way to make them think it was their own idea to leave. Like "How's that apartment search going? My mom said she heard of a place..." Appeal a little to their sense of pride, as if to say "Of course you're handling this yourself, right Mr. Guest?"
;)
2006-07-14 09:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Trinzzia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell hubby to get rid of them, maybe give them some cash for a bus ride to wherever they want to go. Specially if they're not married, sounds like the female is a crackwhore, maybe both of them.
2006-07-14 08:57:52 · answer #11 · answered by Johnson W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋