I've been married 9 mons. 23 yrs. old. don't have much confidence in my husband. how do i know if hes cheating

Question

please if someone can help in knowing something. I've been very depressed lately. I don't feel attractive for him anymore. everywhere we go it doesnt matter if it's my family gathering he always stares at other women in front of me smiles at them in a very flirty way. I she smiles back he just lets go of me and then asks what's wrong. if i tell him he gets mad at me as if I'm the one who did something wrong. tells me it's my imagination. that if that what i think he's don't then he did. He doesnt talk to me for the rest of the day. He thinks it's my responsibility to say sorry. Of course i haven't but feel as if I'm dieing slowly. my family likes him a lot and tell me that i just don't understand what kind of a nice husband i have. it's probly because i don't have big boobs like most women do. I don't know what to do anymore to make him understand that it hurts me. he also spends time in the internet looking at pictures of women w big boobs.

Answer 1

Dear Lady:

He chose to marry you. You say you don't have big boobs - so what? He knew your shape before you married. Jealousy is a big sign of insecurity in you. You must learn to trust your man - until he proves you wrong. To distrust your man until he proves you right becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (By the way Guys, this goes both ways!)

It is hard sometimes, but just because a person is married does not mean they should stop enjoying beauty. Would you stop looking at art because you are married.

It may take some practice, but when he looks at another woman, make sure he knows that you are there by smiling and giving him a kiss. And when he goes home with you, talk about the fun you had. If he starts staying late at work, that's the time to worry. But not before.

Answer 2

In my opinion, a married person shouldn't be even flirting with anyone else but their spouse, or looking at pictures of other women's (or man's for that matter) larger body parts.

The two of you made vows to be faithful to one another. But did you ever have a talk with him and decide together exactly what does or doesn't count as being faithful? because it should entail a little more than just not having sex with anyone else. The important thing is that you decide on some clear boundaries together, something that you can both agree on. This is important to do now, early in your marriage because there are plenty of scum bags out there that just won't care that your married, and you need to be prepared for them.

In fact, bring it up that way, say "Darling, you are so nice and wonderful, that I can't help but think that all the other girls in the world want you as much as I do, and I know there are going to be some girls for you and some guys for me out there that won't even care that we're married. So what should we do about them?"

Just a side note - it's okay to argue sometimes, there's nothing wrong with either one of you getting mad about something, our logic and our feelings don't always match, and a marriage needs to be the safest place for people to have whatever feeling they're having, even if they're not very logical. Just remember as you argue to validate each other's feelings. Say things like "It's completely understandable for you to feel that way..." or "I can see why you would feel that way...."

Answer 3

Sweety, Hes no good for you. Do you know there are better men out there for you. Believe me. Better. You should not feel depressed or ugly. IF I were you, I'd put up a personal online, meet a guy that is not like your husband, then leave your husband.

IF he continues to do that, one day soon, hes going to smile at a girl when youre not there, and shes going to smile back. It will lead to talking, and then him cheating on you,so why wait for him to cheat, if he isnt already, and move on with another man first, then leave him. There are many men good looking and nice out there who wouldnt do the things he does. Move on. move on. move on. He's already cheating on you by looking at other females in a flirty way. That isnt right at all. I dont care if others say its not cheating, it is, it is when a man is flirting .

Answer 4

The way he is reacting tells me he feels guilty. Personally, I would not put up with him looking at women on the internet, it is disrespectful to you and makes you feel less of a woman. Start there with him. Tell him you want him to stop doing that. If he is not willing to stop looking at other women on the internet for you, it won't be long before he does other things or thinks about doing other things. Be firm! It will show him that you have respect for yourself and he will either start respecting you as well or you can leave his sorry butt on the curb.

YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! Don't let anyone tell you different. If he won't love you for you, someone better will.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

Sounds like you guys weren't ready for marriage anyways, you are in already so what now? I think you and your husband should see some professional help. Counsellor, pastor etc. This behaviour is not "married man like" him being in your life is supposed to add to your happiness not break you down. This man is disrespectful. Don't feel bad, the way you feel is very natural. Seek councelling today don't wait until its too late as the saying goes. Nip it into the bud before you guys get older and it has gotten worse.

Answer 6

You don't need to change a thing about yourself. What you need to change is your marital status from married to seperated. Tell him you don't like the things he does and don't appreciate being disrespected. There is no excuse for your husband to treat you this way. As for him cheating on you, I always believed that if you have reason enough in your mind to suspect it then thats reason enough to bring it up and confront the problem. It sounds like all you need is to sit your husband down and have a long serious talk with him. There is no reason why you should take that kind of treatment from your husband.

Answer 7

First of all, let him look. When he stops looking is when you have to worry. Also, this is something you really need to talk to him about, but I can tell that the communication isn't there yet this early in the marriage. I suggest you write him a long letter detailing exactly how you feel and why. tell him to WRITE you back. Most guys are not comfortable talking feelings, but may open up in a letter. It worked for my wife and I early in our marriage and we are working on 14+ years now.

Answer 8

Look if he treats u so bad and u have tried letting him know and he continues to do these things, well theres more men out there. LEAVE him. I understand u may not have big boobs but that should be the least of your worries. Not all men look for big boobs in a female.

Answer 9

Look...get over yourself. I am 25 not much older, my wife... we are separated now, she has the same lame story as you...she knew what would make me happy yet she had to with hold her self because of "her issues" from the past. I think you and her should share you stories...both of you act like dorks.

Have more fun...Dress up...wear somethings you know that he likes, Have sex more than once a week, when having sex DO SOMETHING.... YOU MUST DO THIS!!!!! IT IS NOT HIM.

Answer 10

This is an assessment you should've considered before marrying him. If he makes you feel like crap, then you should tell him---don't just mention it. Tell him! I mean to the point where he has your undivided attention. If he still reacts the same way after you two have had a n "serious" conversation, then leave him.

Aria

*The illnovelist*