Let me start by saying that I did not cheat. I have been lying to her about money and other various bull **** for a couple of years. She eventually found out the truth about everything. Now she does not trust me at all. She says she doesn't feel close to me anymore and our relationship is in big trouble. She says she doesn't even like me anymore for what I have done to our relationship. I really Love her and will never lie to her again but she does not believe me. I know I did this to us and now regret it. any help will be greatly appreciated.
2006-07-14 08:07:31 · 12 answers · asked by mik_sull 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, you screwed up royally. You are going to have to be patient and very understanding with her. She proably feeling "if you lied about this-what else is he lying about" How is she suppose to believe you when you tell her the most simplest thing-much less something like "I love you" if you having being lying for years. Work your butt off if you want this to work. You sound sincere, and I hope she can see past the hurt, that you are trying. I mean you did take responsibilty for it, and you are asking for help. Now, ask her. Honey, what can I do? I know I screwed up, but I am willing to do what you ask. Then do it! Not half-way either. You should be so lucky that she has not left you, so there is still a chance for the marriage. Let her take care of the money from now on. Give her your check, and then you have an allowance till she is satisfied that you arent lying anymore. Good luck, and God bless.....
2006-07-14 08:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
There is no easy way because you were caught in a lie because you didn't start out telling the truth.
You have to rebuild the trust which will be a tough task because now she is face with not truly knowing the person she chose to marry. If you lie on one issue whose to say you ain't lying about other things.
Trust will come with time but you must repeatedly make your wife understand that you will never ever ever ever lie to her again and you lie because you love her and didn't want to lose her or be in the situation you are in now.
It's best to always tell the truth in the beginning and deal with the consequences which are far less because at least you look like a honest person.
2006-07-14 08:15:43 · answer #2 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will fix this. It won't happen over night. You lied and are going to have to accept the consequences for the loss of trust. Make yourself worthy of her trust again. Always tell her the truth, from now on. After some time she will know it is the truth. The trust will come back and the hurt will go away.
2006-07-14 09:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take time. You crushed her when you lied. To us, if we can't believe what you say, what else is there? We put so much into our relationship. You are everything to us. We make you our worlds. When we find out that you've lied, for whatever reason, it kills us. We are vulnerable. You really have to make it up to her and it will take time. If you really care, then make it work. Make sure you don't lie about anything and kiss her butt continuously. Sorry, but you asked.
2006-07-14 08:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will help her to forgive you. Tell her you were weak and never should have lied but that you want and need her trust. She does feel distance...women tend to feel that way when we know that you have the capacity to keep a secret. We want to be one with our man! That is her pride that is hurt... you can heal her hurt pride and begin to mend and soften her heart toward you by kissing and hugging her a LOT and holding her hands, rubbing her feet, did I mention lots of kisses and hugs? And just give her time. Her smile will return. Tell her all your day to day details and be open with her. Things will be okay darlin. Continue to be good. OK? OK.
2006-07-14 08:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN part this is her court you are now playing on. She was with you and then learned that you lied - she probably feels betrayed, shamed and even confused about what else you may have lied or mislead her about. You have to give her time to come back to you - this means taking whatever punishment she dishes out for awhile.
2006-07-14 08:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Student123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To rebuild that trust is going to take time. You should try opening up to her more and just communicating everything. and don't lie anymore no matter how miner the lie.
good luck
2006-07-14 08:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by sneakymonica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about the love part no matter what if she really oved you then she should have a hard time getting over you.
stop liying stop stealing b nice fix things that you havnt when you steel money pay it back and you need to do these things if you want back the trust
2006-07-14 08:16:01 · answer #8 · answered by Nicolette Martin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will take a while for her to cool down, and you're going to have to prove to her that you're trustworthy again. Just remember, she may forgive you, but she may not forget. It'll always be in the back of her mind. So, you're going to have to basically prove yourself in all things to her again, to get her basic trusts. It'll take time. Be careful though, if she catches you in another lie, she may dump you. Time heals all wounds. Best of luck to you.......
2006-07-14 08:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be really open with her. You must prove to her that you're being honest. Maybe then you'll regain her trust. And let her know that you know that you're a lying scumbag who doesn't deserve her.
2006-07-14 08:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by LSD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋