mind you she made the decision to not stay at her father's anymore and her mother agreed w/ her and allowed it. we live one block away, she hasn't called on any holidays or stopped. she decided that at 11 she didn't like the rules and responsibilities at dads and decided to not come around anymore. please help me.
2006-07-14 07:54:53 · 21 answers · asked by bschultz121 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say you need to split the cost w/ her mom.
Ok here's the thing. The kid is suffering from divorce, she's a girl - which means she's most likely going to stick close to mom. Mom is probably putting bad thoughts of dad in her head....You cannot blame the kid, she's a victim of her parents...of circumstance.
Help the kid out. She has a right to go to summer camp.
Maybe she has a problem with you. I mean here you are with her dad...I bet the one thing in life that she wants is to see her parents back together...
Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not trying to offend you, but divorce is horrible for kids. If your man were a real man, he would have waited until that little girl hit 18.
It's like this, you cannot create kids and then abandon ship when things get hard. Her parents have ruined her life and destroyed every concept of marriage this little girl will ever have. Shame on the adults.
She probably feels abandoned. Why's she the one that has to make the effort to see dad? Why doesn't dad come see her (with out you) and spend daddy-daughter time?
I feel bad for that kid.
As far as her rebelling - That is NORMAL for kids of BROKEN HOMES. It's not her fault, it's her parents fault. How traumatic for that little girl....
2006-07-14 07:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some where along the way you forgot that you are the adults. She is a child and needs to be put in her place. It's fine if she asked for 1100 to go to summer camp, but if you guys don't think she deserves it or need it then tell her no. Chances are that is why she left her dad's house because she asked for that ridiculous amount and he told her hell no. and she may be playing mom and dad against each other beecause she knows that they don't get along otherwise they would be together. Imagine she never calls on holidays or anything this is not a child that deserves rewards for being inconsiderate, she needs a punishment of some kind. I would send her to a camp that is not as exciting as the one she wants to go to. But ultimately her mother is the one who has to decide and all you can do is stand behind whatever decision she makes so that this child will not come in between you and your finacee. good luck.
2006-07-14 15:03:59 · answer #2 · answered by jcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has the father been paying support for the last 3 yrs? if not then 1100 is the least he can do. if he has then the mom should be paying half of this trip. so im guessing this child is 14-15 yrs old. if thats the case she cant go out and get a real job to pay this. maybe the parents and her could split the cost 3 ways. have her babysit or earn it cleaning house or washing cars. as for the step parent its not ur place to say anything. even if ur the nicest person ur still an outsider so for the sake of peace keep ur mouth closed. trust me i have a 15yr old daughter and the last thing they want is to hear someone that has nothing to do with it. good luck
2006-07-14 15:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She disobeyes her own dad and his house rules, she's 11 years old, wants 1100 for summer camp from your own money, did not call at your house before, now what kind of a stepdaughter are you inviting to live at your house? believe me she'll wreck havoc on it and your marriage and wait when she's 14 and starts inviting boyfriends at your house for partying and making merry. Either you make it a condition on your fiance' to let her precious princess stay with her natural dad or else break the engagement while you're still at shore. Good Luck and be careful.
2006-07-14 15:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never just hand over that kinda money. If she only lives a block away, she had better start earning it. If she's unwilling to do that then she doesn't get it. The time spent with her father will hopefully strengthen the relationship and teach her some responsibility. Hope I helped!
2006-07-14 14:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by travis a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first I would not give her the money...contact between parents and children go both ways. I am divorced and have 3 daughters...they will pit both parents against each other and try to make one look bad...what is it specifically is it she doesn't like about dad's? responsibilities should be the same in both households, she is only 11 and very impressionable this time is critical in her life....she needs stability...she needs to know she is loved...and yes discipline... when you give into their every whim they tend to start to expect everything for nothing...they need to earn the things they want in and out of life to really appreciate the things they have and get. If she finds a weak spot she can and will abuse and use it to her benefit...
2006-07-14 15:09:23 · answer #6 · answered by phyllis s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow--flashbacks! Bottom line--your financee comes with a past. You're dreaming if you think you can avoid being entangled with her issues. It's your fiancee's decision--support her in whatever she decides, including chipping in with cash. You two are supposed to be a team, and this is now a team problem, but your fiancee is in the best position to know what needs to happen regarding the daughter.
2006-07-14 15:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by Pepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has been paying child support all this time it is only fair that the mom and him split the costs and if he has not paid child support then it is fair that he pays for it but i would not get too involved in that since you guys are not married yet it might cause conflicts now if you guys live together already then talk it over and be fair summer camp is not a necessary
2006-07-14 15:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by alexgandera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she chose to not live with her father, the girl has no business butting into your relationship. You can be fair and split the cost with the girl's mother. Otherwise, suggest to her that she find a part-time job to help cover the costs.
2006-07-14 14:58:41 · answer #9 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other parent got tiered of the 11year old little girl asking to go to that camp so the other parent sent her your way otherwise the 11 year old kid wouldn't hesitate to go to your home.
2006-07-14 14:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋