I'm a newlywed with a full time step daughter and I find that I put to much energy into my husband and his children. I think that I am smothering him. I find that I am unhappy, and relize that I have no hobys or intrest outside of my new family.
2006-07-14 07:06:45 · 13 answers · asked by Stephanie S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Set aside some special "me" time. Take a dance class, a course at your community college, join a craft club or volunteer for community service. If you don't work out of the home, try a part-time-not-too-demanding job doing something you enjoy. Its good that you're a dedicated wife and step mom, but you also need to keep your individuality. Don't forget- that's one of the reasons he married you! You are the life of your home, without you, there's little hope for sunshine. Keep up the good work, but save a little time and fun for yourself. I guarantee both you and your home life will be the better for it.
2006-07-14 07:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by Nightingale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Openly talk to him,everything that u feel.U could ask for an outside help to get u some free time?Remember,it ws ur choice to marry a person with family,these things come with it.You are not used to baby sitting or looking after kids,even if the kids were urs,u would have felt the same.Accept and reach a win-win solution.Kids wont remain small for ever,a matter of few yrs.They will always be grateful to u,and ur husband too.
2006-07-14 07:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, your newlyweds, an now, your wanting to ditch the entire thing because your wanting to "find your space"???
First off, his daughter, is his problem. Remember that. You are only the "step Mom" and she will not listen to you, or, if your able to get to her, then she may and you two will have a great time...(but, most step daughters dont like thier "evil step Moms", because you have just entered into a "no go" zone, between thier mom and dad).
So, I will assume that its the daughter thats really bugging you now, and this is why your having your "turn of event", and wanting to do your own thing.
I really believe that counceling and going to Church as a family is the best thing for any blended family...
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-07-14 07:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi - one element I genuinely have discovered by ability of the various years is that blood is continually thicker. the first element i'd do is communicate with your husband. He won't be able to be operating to his moms every time you've a controversy. that's ridiculous. he's a grown guy and needs to attend on your complications. i'd also call your mom in regulation and characteristic a verbal substitute such as her. Be very frank, tell her you're damage you've not heard from her, because the argument with your husband. enable her know the little ones and also you miss her and that no remember what occurs between you and her son, you'll continually understand her. Invite her over for dinner. do not enable this go too lengthy. after all, it will be a disgrace to ruin your courting because of a controversy you had with your husband that you now not undergo in ideas. i have considered many people distant themselves from kinfolk for petty issues. the final analysis is that you're a kin. moms, fathers, grandparents, nieces, aunts, etc. do not enable a small conflict of words or false impression get on your way. Be loving, and humble and do the right element, no matter if she would not. in the lengthy run you'll sense extra valuable. good success :-) T.
2016-11-02 01:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its important for EVERYONE to have some time for themselves however, you are your husbands wife now. That was a position YOU accepted willingly.
A wife sacrifices much of her time and energy serving others. That is what the vocation is all about......
God man woman for man, not vice versa. Too many women do not want to believe or own up to this truth.
Sorry, you may not agree, but this is my opinion.
2006-07-14 07:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by scheduling it, just like you would a drs appointment. in a way it is a self doctoring appointment. figure out what you want to do, take a class, shop, whatever it is and MAKE the time for it. it is very easy to get swept up in all the everyday stuff and neglect yourself, its good that you recognized it before too much resentment built.
2006-07-14 07:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it happens. I know my family appreciates me but it would be nice for them to show it sometimes. I set one day aside a week to visit with my friends, maybe lunch, sometime we just have coffee and eat donuts and do laundry, but it is a nice change of pace to be away from the house for the whole day.
2006-07-14 07:10:34 · answer #7 · answered by goodbye 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get "The Enlightened Stepmom" by Perdita Norwood and READ it cover to cover. And kick yourself for not doing stepmom/blended family research BEFORE the wedding.
You must take care of yourself first. Otherwise, you won't be in a position to take care of anyone else.
2006-07-14 07:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you need time to yourself. Yes you can love you new family and all,but you have to always have some self time. Go out and find a hobby. Live life!!!
2006-07-14 07:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treat yourself to a facial, pedicure, or a nice long bubble bath.
Let everyone know you need your own time... Say an hour a week... or 15 minutes each day.
2006-07-14 07:28:26 · answer #10 · answered by karekare330 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋