What makes it difficult for me is a 5 year old child is in the picture, and my wife tells the child "It is ok, mommy will never leave you", and this makes it more difficult for me to deal with.
2006-07-14 07:02:06 · 6 answers · asked by bunort 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you truly believe that divorce is your only option, then get it done and over with. But make sure that your lawyer adds in to the decree that you have joint custody...that way you will have equal say-so concerning any decisions having to do with your child. I would also make sure that you have it so that your child can stay with you atleast 3 days out of the week, every other weekend, and you must share holidays. If you have a good lawyer, he/she will do this for you no matter how much your wife tries to fight it.
I also believe that during the mediation of the divorce that you should express your concerns about how your wife is handling the divorce with your child and maybe even have a clause put in that all three of you must report to family counseling once a week and share the cost. After all, you will still be a family, just not in the traditional sense. That way, your wife can learn healthier language to use around your child and it can also give your child an extra set of ears to express his/her concerns in case he/she is afraid of hurt your's or your wife's feelings.
2006-07-14 08:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by AverageMom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have file, why hasn't it been finalized. Yeah, the child does need to be reassure that mommy want leave to but how you ex does it, is not right. All she has to do is tell the child that mommy is here and not add or take away. So go ahead and finalized and everything will be okay in time.
2006-07-14 14:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce with children is never easy for all involved. For whatever reason, you filed for divorce thinking this is the best solution for your problem. Now it sounds like you are double guessing yourself as to if you really want this divorce or not. Most states will award custody of children automatically to their mother unless there is documented proof (police reports, etc) showing child abuse or drug abuse. You will be given your states child visitation rights for the non-custodial parent which means you will NOT be out of your childs life but will have to make adjustments for such. At first,it wont be easy but in time all will adjust and life goes on. No matter what else you do or want, just make sure it is in the best interest of your child because the courts will regardless of parents wishes. Good luck to you all
2006-07-14 14:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the marriage is salvagable, then you can always try, conselling/therapy..etc. SInce you've already filed, it sounds like both of you fell it would be better if you were no longer together.
The more you drag the process out the harder things will be. Better to just get it over with and move on so you can concentrate on your child.
Love your child, and reassure him/her that you will be there for them as well. Plus none of this is their fault, of course.
2006-07-14 14:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are divorcing the spouse not the child and let the child go back and forth it it's safe for child to do so do not stay together for the child's sake because then all that child learns is to settle for what ever even if they are not happy
2006-07-14 14:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney?
Do you both work. Do you both do 50/50.
Go for joint custody.
2006-07-14 14:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by lawman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋