What should i do?

Question

i am extremly shy, not naturally. i lack a lot of confidence as i am insecure. what should i do? it is depressing me which makes even more shy. what should i do? ive heard of motivational tapes to listen to which build your confidence but i dunno if they work. i fear i may be i am wasting my life.

Answer 1

It is difficult to get over this problem just by "getting over it! looking people in the eye! starting the direct contact on your own initiative!" It's impossible to change over night, people!!, who advise the guy "just to love himself". If it were that simple, why wouldn't all of us become suddenly satisfied by ourselves? I think, the quickest and, possibly, the most reliable way to cope with this big shyness is to start working with a psychotherapist. Otherwise, you can also try to work on it on your own, but it will take you half the life (I am speaking from my own experience. I am still much more shy than I would like to be, although I am 35 y.o.) As for the self-help tapes, I recently read an article on http://www.psychotherapy.net/cgi/framemaker.cgi?mainframe=articles&subframe=snakeoil, which says there is not much use in such tapes. I wish you luck. It is great you are ready to cope.

Answer 2

most people are shy due to fact that they can't handle rejection and situations such as this...so they avoid outside contact to stay away from such a situation....think about something you love to do and are pretty good at....could be reading...could be problem solving.....could be catching butterflies...whatever...and find a group with the same interests....not everyone is narrow minded and there are people out there that have the same likes that you have and that would love to find someone to talk to and engage in such things together...you can find resourses in local library', local universities, schools, internet...find a group in your area and contact them and go to a meeting...I bet once you find some people with the same likes that you have and you open up a little bit....they won't be able to shut you up...good luck and much peace and happiness to you

Answer 3

Tell you what! I was the exact same way... This may sound bad... But get over it! I know it may be tuff to change but you have to do it... Stop caring about what people think and start living your life because before you know it you'll be 30 and say WTF happened to my life. If you feel depressed? Please see a therapist... There's nothing wrong with that and speaking to a therapist will help you open up and it feels good.

Answer 4

i think you should really learn to love who you are. you are probaly a very nice sweet caring guy. you should never feel like your wasting your life. life is short, you have to live it to the fullest!
who cares what people think or what the world is like. enjoy it while you can. to help you can find a hobby that you are good at.
hope this helped
<3
p.s. smiling to people and to yourself helps you become more confident

Answer 5

try talkin to people u trust n if u want u can contact me if u need sum1 2 talk 2 n ill try n help u best i can

Answer 6

if you truly want to change, then you might have to force it a couple times, but you'll get there. you need to put yourself in situations where it's hard to be shy: parties, bars, clubs. you need to put yourself out there. if no one is coming up to talk to you, talk to them. make eye contact with people to let them know you want to talk to them. like i said, since it's not natural for you you'll have to force it a couple times, but you'll get it.

Answer 7

mann-o has a point there who cares what do you feel, try this instead of think that you are waisting your life why not try to think of the good things you want to change. and also just tell yourself if you want it take it its always yours.

Answer 8

You should speak to a doctor about this. It is more common then you may think. Don't hang your head....You'll get thru this.

Answer 9

CBT therepy

Answer 10

try to keep yurself intact