sex drive prob..help..needed?

Question

hi..there...need advice...
i posted a q abt this ..most poeple answered making fun ...but i am posting again...hoping this time i may get advice,.i am married since 1 yr ....i love to have sex with my hubby all the time ..i mean atleast everyday..but he kinda doesn't care much...b4 he used to be all over me,,,i am still the same...i agree his work is hectic at times...and i am home most of the days and vibe may not match..but at times i get mad..i don't want to show my anger as it seems too selfish..but i feel really rejected..there has been times when i felt that i looked desperate...may be i am..but the fact is i feel really nice if we have a good active sex life..and we are so young and i bothers me that we are loosing our passion...i don't reach orgasm with him much..i use my toys...to satisfy myself as most of the times he is never around..but i feel bad at times ..i wonder whats the point?i don't understand his sitn and he doesn't understand my sitn...how to cope up with this?

sxybrownie...this is what exactly i was trying to mean...i want to be wanted..lusted for...thats not a bad expectn..rt..i will try doing that....let me see...

well i know ..his work has been really hectic from past 3 weeks,,,he seems really exhausted...i don't know why i am making it a big deal..i don't want to us to loose passion...i need to try new things..

blue eyes..i want to say something...ofcourse everyone has somethings which excites ..we can't change...but its not my soul duty to excite him the way he wants...its a combined effort...also...i don't think just because i want him to be with me i need to do everything he may want...i don't agree with ur idea..thanks though...just my piece of thought..here...

Answer 1

geeze are u sure we arent twins lol..totally understand where your coming from.. I lust after my husband all the time.. and its not just the physical act of having sex for me, its craving the need to be lusted for, wanted, feeling special , beautiful, loved ect during.. my husband is 5 years older then me, and he works a very high stressed job that totally wares him out.. i know all to well feeling that "rejected" feeling.. its as if i dont instigate it, its not going to happen which takes away from the need to be desired ect.. I talked to my husband explained what its doing to me.. he says that he wants to make love to me , but he lacks the desire to unless i get him in the mood....he admitted that me wanting him so much and expressing that want for him basically has made him lazy.. and that when i stop "wanting" him is when he starts basically worrying or when i start doing things that preoccupy my time away from him like read ect that he freaks out from not having my attention like usual.. So far its working although its only been a week.. but its working thus far.. so i suggest you talk to ur husband tell him how u feel , then from that point on.. try showing very little interest to see if he comes around to you.. and just in case go buy yourself alot of batteries lol.. good luck

Answer 2

It is really normal for the amount of sex to decrease after the first year or so of a marriage. Usually it's something as simple as one of the partners being tired more often or having a difficult schedule to work around. I know that my husband and my sex life changed after getting married and I wasn't too happy about it.


The first thing you need to do is talk about it with your husband. make sure that you know exactly how the other person is feeling. Then work on correcting whatever issues you may have (for us the main issue was my husband's long work schedule and the fact that he was just really exhausted a lot of the time).

We worked together to come up with alternate times to have sex (like first thing in the morning instead of late at night), and different ways that he could relax more when we were together. We had a great time figuring out ways that he could be still while still being pleasured and pleasuring me.

If after talking it out, you are still not getting what you need in your sex life, then go and find a third party to discuss it with. A licensed couples or sex therapist should be able to help you.

Answer 3

i think you REALLY need to talk too him. i sometimes feel rejected too when my man doesn't want to do it-- even though that's not usually the case-- when it does happen, i feel a really deep hurt, and feel like i'm just not good enough or something, when i really know it's because he's so tired. don't feel guilty about anything because there's nothing to feel guilty about. @ least you're not seeking sex from other people-- you just want it from your husband, and that's good. using toys is never an awful thing either. if that's the only thing you got other than your husband-- go for it, because like i said, you're just pleasuring yourself-- you're not finding other ppl too do it for you.

this is going to sound really stupid-- but try to work with me on it-- talk too him and maybe set up a "schedule" of when you guys can have sex. maybe say "every weekend, we'll have sex @ least once." and that's friday, saturday, and sunday-- or something along those lines you know? i hope that made sense. i

i agree with you-- being so young, there should be A LOT of passion there-- and when it's dissolving so quickly-- it's kind of scary. i'm sure you and your hubby will be fine, you guys just really have to talk it out and get what you feel on the table.

and when you do get to have sex with him-- try spicing things up a little. read into some new positions that you may be able to try and spring them on him in bed. they love when you find new ways to pleasure them-- it's really erotic for them, and you'll love it too.

i hope this helped you!! good luck sweetie!!!

Answer 4

He has lost interest because the excitement and rush are gone. Men need variety and excitement in their sex life. If you truly want to bring the excitement back into your sex life, you have to find out what would turn him on. Tell him to be 100% honest with you, and you have to promise to keep an open mind no matter what he tells you. He can't change what excites him, so whatever it is, you cannot judge him for it. After all, the reason he is not currently sharing his feelings with you about what excites him is because he thinks you may get your feelings hurt or look down on him. Don't prove him right and make him regret telling you by getting upset if he tells you something you don't want to hear. Desire comes from within, so we cannot choose our turn ons.....we just know we like it. If you love your husband and want to be him, then you have to be willing to explore the kinds of things he likes sexually....no matter what it is. If his turn ons end up being something you don't agree with or like, remember this: No matter how much you yell, or how much of a guilt trip you lay on your husband's shoulders, he cannot change what excites him. If his desires lie outside of the boundaries you are willing to explore with him, it is better not to be with him then to make him live a lie to keep you from being upset with him.

Answer 5

I kinda have the same problem but I am on the the other end. I love my husband but I don't like having sex and wants it everyday. We almost separted because of this. But, I know what my problem is that I have outside problems and just don't make feel like doing it. Seek some professional help, I did.

Answer 6

ok you want a real answer chill a little stop the pushey back off he will start to wonder why your not asking about the sex all the time if you remove the suply the demand will increase understand good luck and buy more toys make yourself happy

Answer 7

My spouse's dropped off after each toddler, for greater or less 12-18 months, yet picked up progressively and he or she is now plenty greater energetic (infants 9 and eight) than in the previous. She started workout (working) 365 days after our 2d, which could have helped. She's fit than in the previous (nonetheless no longer aggressive/athletic). The lull after each toddler is infamous and blamed for various marital problems (alongside with sleepless nights, no time on my own, etc.). basically be sure you do no longer forget approximately to do issues for yourselves, spend time, circulate out, break one yet another, presents, etc. preserving up with those romantic issues will make beneficial that as quickly as your physique is waiting, you nevertheless love one yet another and choose to get it on. you need to do your terrific to muster some enthusiasm meanwhile.

Answer 8

why don't you try to just have sex only about twice a week. This way it will give you and your hasband time in between times to miss the feeling. That makes the sex wanted and needed so it feels incredible when you do get it. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 9

I feel ur pain!!! my husband and I are young too, and I shouldn't have to feel like cob-webs are growing down there!... nevertheless, it is quite frustrating. Sometimes I just wanna punch the walls. Toys wouldn't even come close to what we used to have, so I don't bother. Good luck!

Answer 10

do you always have sex the same way?maybe he wants something diffrent try to spice it up a little try and entice him with a new lingere.Have you tryed talking to him asking why he dosent seem interested anymore.If that dosent work i suggest a sex therepist sex isnt everything in a marriage but its a nice bonus