Exgirlfriend is still friends with mother in law... & she is still calling my husband?

Question

My husband & his ex were together for 4 years & they broke up 2 years ago. His mom is still friends with his ex. She asked how I felt about them being friends & I said I was okay with it-- I wish I was still friends with my ex's mom, we were close too but I gave her up when I gave my ex up. Well his ex has called my husband 3 times since March and I let him know it bothered me. Last night was the last time and I text messaged her a polite message asking for her to please not contact my husband. My husband was upset that I did that. I told him months ago that if he didn't tell her himself that I would. I saw on his cellphone she called 4 times. He answered 2 of the times but never called her back on the other 2 missed calls. I confronted him about it last night & he said "I wish you talked to me before you did anything." He said she was contacting him about his mom's b-day which is Saturday & she wants to surprise her. I told him its starting to weird me out. He didnt care. What to do?

We got married in August of last year and she stopped contacting him (long desperate emails) in July of last year. March was the first time she contacted him since we were married and it was to let him know that she graduated college-- which his mom could have told him. When we moved into our new house there were a few pieces of stereo equipment that belonged to her that we did not want or need. I told his mom to call her so she could have them back. My husband called her too. That was a couple of weeks ago. Then this last time was about his mom's birthday. I told him she should have called his sister if she really wanted to plan a surprise gift for her birthday, not her ex. He says I'm over reacting and I probably am... but his mom likes to talk about the ex to me... It is starting to weird me out. His mom did tell me that my husband did not love his ex and he told her that. He has told me that too... & they were only together that long for the sake of his mom's happiness.

They were not married. Her mom did not like my husband because he was 4 years older than she was and she was young when they were together. Her own mom threw her out of the house and she had to move in with my husband. They lived together for most of the 4 years they were together... and he was planning on breaking up with her before she got kicked out. He felt bad and took her under his wing... and she lived with my husband's mom for a little bit before she moved in with him-- that is how they got to be so close.

I told my husband its not normal to remain friends with your ex's mom. I have never heard my grandmothers talking about hearing from an old boyfriend/girlfriend of my mom/dad. And it would just weird me out when we have kids if she continues to stay in touch.

Answer 1

this is a mess the ex has to let go why is she still holding on to your husband and his family? she must still have feelings for him and if he has a good relationship with his mother she knowns that and that is why she is still holding on to the mother and sad to say he must still have something there for her because what real man will let another woman disrespect his wife this needs to stop A.S.A.P. It's not healthy for your relationship.he needs to put his foot down or you put yours down either way this foolishness must come to a complete END.

Answer 2

Your husband still has feelings for his ex, and so does his mother. This is a problem. You either sit back and deal with it, or you move on. It probably won't stop and the more times you confront him, the more angry he will become - and there's a chance he might even cheat on you with her. Determine what's best for you and do that. I still keep in contact with an ex's mom - I don't talk to the ex - but his mom and I are close. I'm married and my ex is getting married this year.

Answer 3

at first, i'd bypass calling him a "mommy's boy". in truth your husband has a mom and he or she has a son and this is no longer healthful to make your husband experience like airborne dirt and dust because he has a mom. this is no longer solid to do to him or is it healthful for the marriage. this can be a diverse relationship than husband and spouse. that's a relations relationship although also. Secondly, is she unwell or an elderly female? Is she widowed? Can she make a list if so and also you ought to both help her for an hour a week or what ever. those issues should be an difficulty even as thinking a kind answer. If she's able than imagine about what that's that she is soliciting for help with. meaning do not assume she will carry furniture by herself if she's frail. Or, is she invited to any relations activities? possibly she lonely and desire's to spend some time with relations. even as vacationing "what have you ever been as a lot as lately, something thrilling?". there is no longer something to be worried about he's now unlikely to divorce you and marry his mom.

Answer 4

Some relationships break up on the "good note". Apparently this is what has happened here. When you marry someone you feel that they are your partner for life and marriage is serious business. If she was his first wife there is definitely a connection between them. If there are no children involved in their relationship you should not have any reservations and let them both know that they are disrespecting you let her know face to face/women to women that he is with you now and you will not tolerate her behavior any longer.
As for the Mother-in-Law I don't think there is a problem with that, you cannot dictate what everyone does. He is being disrespectful to you by openly conversing with her when he knows how you feel about the matter. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Let me put it bluntly, you husband is an *ss, and you Mom in law is a b****.
You need to make it perfectly clear to your husband that he's on thin ice. He cares more about your ex than your feelings, that is a danger sign. Talk to your mother in law too, tell her that you are fine with the relationship, but to have the ex talk to her only. If mom wants to relay messages between them, so be it.
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN, NOW! Otherwise, this is leading somewhere, it may already be there. Good luck.

Answer 6

You have a major problem ..and by major i mean MAJOR.
You need to talk to your mom-in-law and husband (family conference) and tell them you are no more okay with her calling, not even her shadow! be v. clear that they have to consider her evaporated, vanished, ...dont mean to be rude...but dead is the word. You need to solve this problem from grass root level, or in 4 years your story would be reversed. Also meet her personally and tell her to stay away...and that she is not welcomed even during anniversaries and b' days. she should celebrate with her own family not yours

Answer 7

You are correct in establishing boundaries with this. To call your husband on the sly and to have him hide it is just wrong. And if anyone should be included in YOUR mother in law's birthday surprise, it should be you. This girl is peeing on your tree, hon. She's trying to establish dominance over you and has absolutely no right to whatsoever. Stand your ground and be strong, this is bullsh*t.

Answer 8

He needs to care. I dont like the way he wishes you talked to him before you contacted her. You gave him the chance to do it and he dropped the ball. Hopefully she wont contact him again...but I doubt it. You need to sit him down and tell him you want him to stop the contact between the 2 of them and he should respect your wishes; if he doesn't....you need to make some decisions about your marriage.

Answer 9

she may have been i'm close to my ex's mom but don't talk to the ex at all and my guy still has a problem figure that one out

Answer 10

I don't blame you this happened to me! It sounds like its ultimatum time. Maybe you can have some of your ex boyfriends call your house