I'm 21 and I have a friend who is 28. The thing is I'm kinda embarrassed to hang out with her because of the fooish things she does. She goes to this one bar weekly and picks up 50-60 year old men. That is not all, she french kisses them, buys them cigrattes, and shots of liquer or drinks.
she also drinks heavily even though she weighs like 215 pounds or so. I went with her a couple of times but, I do not anymore because I felt uncomfortable because of the tacky atmosphere and her behavior. Especially, what she did the very last time she went I went to the ladies room and I saw her go to the mens room with like a 60 year old guy. Then, when I came back 2 mintues later they were out. She says she might date one of these men Anyhow, my family do not think she is a good influence over my life. I'm starting to agree. But, when she behaves we really do have fun together. I'm a shy person who does not have many friends. I feel embarrassed when she behaves this way. What should I do?
2006-07-14 05:46:51 · 18 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yikes, she sounds kinda yucky.
I think you should suggest that you guys stay in sometimes rent a movie and order pizza or somthing where she can get into less trouble. If it really bothers you, but you still want to go out with her cas you can't really think of someone else to go out with, then jsut tell her that it doesnt make her or you look very good when she is picking up such older men. Also ask her why on earth she is wasting her hard earned money on these old men!! Especially when it is the men that should be buying her stuff! Just tell her to think about how demeaning she is nbeing to herself!
2006-07-14 05:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by cutie pie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is actually how u look at things. You have the right to choose. Everybody is different and there is no right or wrong. Is like take it or leave it. Nobody can blames anybody. As for influence wise, I think you know what is good for u, right? Friend is still friend. They are not part of your life. They are just a piece of artwork to make life better and beautiful....
2006-07-14 05:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by apple pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you consider not going with her for her little bar-hopping excursions? If she's fun the rest of the time, just remove yourself from the situations where she embarrasses you. Its as simple as that!
If it really comes down to it, you may just have to find a new friend. Sometimes people just grow apart...happens in friendships all the time. You don't have to dump her unceremoniously, just start being unavailable most of the times she wants to do stuff; she'll eventually get the picture.
2006-07-14 05:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand where you're coming from but your friend is going down a destructive and dangerous path and you shouldn't let her drag you with her. Just explain to her that her drinking and picking up older men bothers you and you can't hang around her when she's acting like that. If she were a true friend she'd understand and either calm done or stop completely. If she doesn't you've just got to be strong and let her go if you must.
2006-07-14 06:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by elr212006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is really your friend you should accept her the way she is, and take it or leave it, but that doesnt mean you can't talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel, and don't go out with her anymore If she acts like that. But you don't just dump a real friend as other people have said, thats just not how things work.. or at least not with me
2006-07-14 06:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by III 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The true test of friendship is when she comes to your aid. Fun has nothing to do with it.
You can have fun with your dog, cat, brother, etc.
But, if at one point, no one else is there to help you out, and she comes to your rescue without asking for anything in return, then she's worthy to become your friend.
There is nothing wrong with telling her about how you feel about her actions, at least you are being honest.
Max Ehrmann might have said in DESIDERATA "avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit," but it is always up to you to decide whether you want peace or order in your life.
2006-07-14 05:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by stardustalpha2010 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the majority sentiments here. You should tel lher how you feel about what she does and that you no longer want to be with her if she keeps doing these things. Tell her that you have fun together (when she acts "normal") but you don't agree with her lifestyle and don't want to get into it yourself. Tel lher that you hope she understands. Find another or other friends who are less "wild" whom you can have fun with outside the influences of alcohol, etc.
2006-07-14 05:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by mac_guy_ver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to stay friends with her, sit her down and explain to her that her self-abusive behavior embarrasses you. If not, move on and get another friend. But you don't want to be associated with someone who acts like that. People will begin to think badly of you if you're friends with her.
2006-07-14 05:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by Shqiptare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like a very unhealthy friendship, if you can't cut her totaly from your life, limit your contact, go for lunch or talk on the phone, but i would definatly quit going to bars with her.
2006-07-14 05:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by SirenSings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go out with her anymore. At least not in a place she can pick up people!
2006-07-14 05:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by kaala79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋