I am 23yrs and my Husband is 36yrs. I am also a student and there is this guy in my class that is driving me crazy. I am falling in love with him and he is also falling in love with me too, I cant do anything without thinking about him, I cant sleep in the night, cant concentrate on my studies. I was at school today and he did not come, I started crying. I have only 5months to finish my school. Should I leave the school in other to forget about him what?
I never had any sexual relationship with him but, I am missing him a lot. even when my husband is making love to me I was wishing it was that guy. I have tried all I could to stop thinking about him but no way. what do I do?
2006-07-14 05:14:57 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have two kids with my husband.
2006-07-14 05:36:39 · update #1
Is it love or is it infatuation? Your husband is 13 years older than you, maybe you feel the generation gap?
Weigh things very carefully, Will your school friend be loyal and do you expect the relationship to last, will he trust you, knowing that you left a husband for him, maybe tomorrow you'll desert him too?
Is you relationship with your husband good, do you have children through him?
These Q' s and many more must be answered, and you are the only one who can do that, so ponder, weigh long and decide.
All the best, wish you happiness in whatever you do!
st
2006-07-14 05:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Starreply 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you got married too young to know what you really wanted, and now you're looking around at all you might have had.
You are probably not really in love with him. You are in love with what he represents - the single, carefree, dating life where you could go do what you want, when you want, with whomever you want, and you were young and free. Now, you've committed yourself to someone and you have to turn your back on the youthful fun while you are still a very young woman, and you're having trouble doing that. It's not the guy. It's the freedom. Try to remember that.
Do you love your husband? If so, you need to recognize that your youthful infatuation with this other guy is going to cost you your marriage. If you are thinking of him while you are being intimate with your husband, whether your husband says so or not, he has a suspicion that something is not right.
Is this other guy worth giving up everything you have built with your husband? If not, either leave the school, change classes, or just be mature enough to stay away from him.
If you don't think you're married to the right guy, get out now, before you've both invested any more time and emotion in building a future that won't ever happen and before you have children who will be hurt by a divorce, and free your husband to find, love, and build a life with someone who really does love him.
2006-07-14 05:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by zartsmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You a facing a major self-inflicted personal crisis and I don't think that the age gap with your husband is anything to do with it. In the longer term, everyone would be older and wiser.
Unless there are other factors and your marriage was already on the rocks before you met this guy, I would suggest that you stop this form of 'adultery' and seek spiritual help.
Also, beware of men who 'fall in love' with a married woman - they tend to be move their attention elsewhere over time ...
Love can be a fickle thing if you don't handle it responsibly. Go over to your husband, give him a long hug and think positive thoughts like why you once loved him and married him and try to make the marriage work.
2006-07-14 05:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by Son of Gap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out whats more important to you, some wild fling with a guy you dont even know...or the man you said you would be with for the rest of your lives till death do you part....do you more cherish the life you have built together or the life you have imagined with this new guy...people don't stay all wonderful all the time and skin deep he may be inticing, but beneath that you may find you loved your husband more. This very well could just be a need to spice up your life with your husband.
2006-07-14 05:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Memigen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you got married way to young. Your heart is not yet done dating I think you should probably reconsider your marriage because this wont be the first time that happens. Running from this is not going to solve anything. If you are falling in love with this guy I think you need to make a decision. Which is more important your husband or him. If you decide your husband than you need to give your whole heart to him.
2006-07-14 05:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by Steven M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe me... you are at the peak of your infatuation that's why you miss this guy so much. i've been in that stage also -- i was losing my mind, he was absent for a week -- and i could not calm down because i just have to see him. and there are times when i want jump on him and have sex with him right then and there.
weeks later -- i don't feel the same anymore. there maybe a time that the feelings will go back, but trust me, it will go away again. and imagine that you were single and you were out with this guy -- you fulfill your every heart's desire with this man, but honest to goodness -- do you honestly think that you will forever feel that way until you die? of course there will come a time when you're gonna be so bored with your life, whether be with your husband or with this man.... my point is, this is a phase that is only there temporary. the feelings are strong, but it is temporary.
seriously... email me after 4 weeks, i want to find out if you are still feeling what you are currently feeling right now.
the guy i like is off limits, i was in that phase last month, i was going crazy because he was hospitalized and i didn't see him for more than a week. so he came back, everything calmed down. i still like him, but not in an insane way as he was away... but now, weeks later, im actually considering moving on with my life and let go. i am at the point right now where i am using my head to evaluate things... "should i keep sticking to this guy? or do i deserve somebody better and i deserve to move on?"
in your case, wait for that phase (where you evaluate things, when everything is calm) to see where you really want to be. in my case, no matter how much i love this guy, i would be ready to give him anything he wants, but i realized i have to love myself also. what if this guy doesn't reciprocate whatever i would give him? so, let me know your progress 4 weeks from now.
2006-07-14 06:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband for a divorce. It might shock him but explain to him what you just wrote up there. He's entitled to know the truth and surely needs to know that you are fantasizing about another man while he's making love to you. It'll be a blow to the ego but maybe it would make it that much easier for your husband to understand the feelings that are happening inside of you. Cheating would be like stomping on his ego and heart...I beg you not to do that.
Oh and school shouldn't be compromised because you cannot control your feelings for a guy in the class.
2006-07-14 05:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by jade11378 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are just "in love" with the idea of him. Regardless...you still have problems. If you got away from this guy for a while, you would probably find yourself moving on pretty fast. But you are still faced with the fact that your emotions were able to latch on to someone other than your husband. You need to work on improving your marriage and nothing else. You made a vow to work through anything with him...stick with it and give it your best. You need to start looking at that other guy like a betrayal to your husband and not somebody who will knock you off your feet with romance.
2006-07-14 05:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by green is clean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the heck are you with a guy that is 13 years older than you are? I mean I dated older women (I was 24 she was 38) but I did not marry her.... It was a good time for both of us nothing more.
If you feel this way about some guy that is closer in age to you now those feelings will never end. you need to make a decision. Keep your wedding vows or get a divorce. then you can run around and be a little minx.
2006-07-14 05:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by jeepfaust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you thinking marrying a guy 13 years older than yourself? How much did you think you could possibly have in common with a guy who was out night clubbing while you were in kindergarten?
Of course you are going to be attracted to someone your own age! You will have heaps in common to talk about and probably more similar interests than you and your husband do. He probably looks a hell of alot better too!
Why don't some of you young girls think things through before getting carried away with the prospect of playing house?
2006-07-14 05:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋