Is societies confusion of love and lust the root problem to abuse, unfaithfulness, and failed relationships?

Question

I have been doing research for some time now and I'm trying to find the true answer to why relationships fail. I believe that relationships fail because people do too much lusting and think that it is love while forgetting to look or even glance at the personality

Answer 1

Relationship failures do not always have the same root cause. Lack of respect or trust can kill the connection....... also, any type of abuse (both physical and emotional)...... addictions such as alcoholism, drugs, gambling, etc....... differences in culture, finances, family values...... I could go on and on.

Since human beings are flawed creatures (which is just "code" for saying we have all sinned and fall short of the perfection that is God's alone), we have a tendency toward selfishness, but also fear. I believe fear is the strogest negative driving force for humans..... fear of being out of control, fear of rejection/betrayal, fear of commitment, etc.

Having said all of that...... your premise that humans confuse love with lust is a sad, but alas very true, indictment on relationships. Love is both a feeling and a state of being, involving our actions. Sometimes, we might not FEEL like we love our partner, but if we truly love them we still behave as if we do....... because we are choosing to do so. That is real loving! But....... lust is merely the uncontrollable desire for something you want. Yes, it is almost always connected to sex in some form, but people can lust after lots of things..... like money, power, fame etc, etc, etc. Most extra-marital affairs consist of lust...... and in many affairs, lust is masked by loving feelings. But I think the stats will bear out that many married people who find out their spouses had affairs do not divorce them for it..... they choose to stay and continue to act on their love.

Thanks for sharing you question. It obviously got everybody thinking..... which is a good thing!

Answer 2

There's probably both scientific and social components to the reasons relationships fail.

The chemicals released by your brain when you begin a new relationship keep you on a "high" that lasts for a year or so; there have been several studies reported in the media in recent years about this. After that, the strength of the bond you have made in that year is tested. If the relationship is fatally flawed, it probably ends pretty quickly. Children tend to complicate that, but society no longer views separation and single parenting as negative things, or at least not negative enough to keep couples together indefinitely for fear of social ostracism.

Then, you have to look at the societal reasons that separation is no longer considered a bad thing. For a very long time, the only way a family could survive was by having one parent work and the other "keep house." Traditionally, men worked outside the home while women kept the househould intact and running. There just weren't other options. Now, both men and women are capable, in many societies, of supporting a household independantly. The actual need to stay in a relationship for survival's sake is no longer there. So, most people, when they feel their relationship has become stifling or unsatisfying, simply move on.

Lusting after other people certainly plays a part in many failed relationships, but it's really just people exercising their options.

Answer 3

Why do relationships fail is a deep question. For any relationship to survive, there should be a commitment between the persons concerned. Chastity and faithfulness should not be regarded as empty and outdated concepts. People, at the tender age, should be imbibed in the value of forgiving and forgetting the wrongs done by others-especially our own close relations- and love and affection. Charity should begin at home. A home is not just a lodge. It is a hearth, where you share the suffering and pleasure together. The family value system which has suffered a beating even in the Asian societies, who are traditionally known for a strong family bond, should be strengthened, at any cost. In the western society also, where the family ties are rather loose, efforts should be made to graft in a value system between the married couple. The christian edict that a man and woman married to each other shall remain together for ever should be taken seriously.

Answer 4

Love means a willingness to put someones needs above your own. If both partners in a marriage are willing to make sacrifices, then it is a well balanced marriage.

Both partners must also be committed to a marital relationship. This does not mean that temptation will not be present. If only means that if the marriage is important, temptation will be avoided.

Marriages fail because of the lack of love and commitment. In many instances, couples do not take the time to get to know one another before they get married. Many think that if it doesn't work out, they will just get a divorce. This kind of thinking leads to failed marriages.

Marriage should be two people making a union that combines to make one. This does not mean that either partner loses their identity, it means that each partner compliments the other thus making one great united front! This is very useful when having children or dealing with relatives and makes everyone know that you are one.

Answer 5

You are overgeneralising that abuse, unfaithfulness and failed relationships are all caused by the same root problem - lust. In my opinion, each category of relationship problem is subjected to different causes.

But I do agree that lust plays a part in many failed relationships. I, too agree that lust occurs when the pace of the society is going too fast.

But lust can also occur because humans try too hard to push the boundaries of reality. When humans succeed in creating a fantasy into reality (for example: breast implants), they naturally take a bold step out of practicality into a new dimension of lustful desires.

Answer 6

The answer is yes.
The confusion is both personal and social because the reality of natural affection has been thrown out and the word love has been made to substitute for natural affection.

We deal with four items: Love, natural affection, desire and lust.
Natural affection is "human love" at its best. One friend who dies for another has shown the highest level of natural affection. A couple really "in love" displays and experiences great natural affection which increases with the years.

Lust is a perversion of natural affection. Perverted natural affection becomes lust. Desire ceases to function as part of the total person and is reduced to a physical expression. Out of this comes failed relationships, unfaithfulness, and abuse; since the person can no longer fully express himself or herself actions turn to abuse and/or bizarre behavior.

Lust is not the opposite of love but the opposite of natural affection. Confusion is calling natural affection love, when it is only a singular type of love.

Will spare you a discourse on true love and desire, but you get the idea. Except for terms I agree with you.

Three are spiritual matters to be considered also; but it would be nice if we could have some well defined words to work with. Hope this gives you some ideas for a tack in your research.
Would like to see your results.

Answer 7

You are talking about man's sex diet!Yes some of the reason but not vocally reasoned out by the couple that might be a big embarassment that is why they try to have 3rd party involved because they are not satisfied with their partner in bed!Also being irresponsible as wife and husband is not only in financial reason or emotional but sexual!They lived together not because of sex but the sex is part of it,and a lot of resposibilities to consider such as being a good provider, a good father and a good husband!Personality is not really a big deal when it comes to relationship,it is the mutual respect to each other because until now there is no such a standard for being a perfect partner and they tend to live together and that remains to be seen as gradually they realized that they are not meant for each other which is better than having a miserable daily life with a person you don't need anymore!

Answer 8

One other aspect of that problem, in my opinion, and the bigger one is the fact that a lot of people (more than we realize) get into relationships and marriages without fully wanting it, they just feel pressure, family pressure and society pressure from all those that force psychologically people in getting married, making them feel not complete if they don't marry and such.
Just think about what are the first questions people make when they don't know you: "Are YOU married? Are you dating? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"
These society programs people to think they have to marry or at least find a mate as soon as possible (sometimes society even invents some limit ages like we are some yogurt that expires).
All these makes people rush into marriages and relationship that in other cases they wouldn't just to feel "normal". If that pressure didn't exist maybe they would have waited (no matter how long) or just be by themselves and be happier people,

Answer 9

Society is not confused. However many people are. to many people still have the misconception of what love is and isn't. Lust is a means to an end a faceless collision of people both looking to satisfy the desire burning yearning to get out and achieve that one natural high that can never be obtained any other way. Society has no control over these urges. Some have tried to govern them and how can they. people use the term "I Love You" far to often. and that leads to confusion and anger people are human (that is an animal by the way prone to act out in the most primitive ways when injured physically or psychologically speaking) and tend to be reactive when it comes to love however when lust is involved the opposite is the case (aggression). reaper out...

Answer 10

Lusting lies in all of us. Along with a plethora of other so called vices. It is a daily battle to keep yourself in check according to your own set of standards. Keeping a relationship together takes commitment which is something that many people have a hard time with. With age and wisdom it becomes easier for some to commit and not be ruled by basic desires. Love is a very difficult thing to nurture, but well worth the effort.