we've been having problems and i just havent' been feeling the same about him or our marriage. we'll be married 10 yrs in december and i just wonder if this is normal or is there more to it.
2006-07-14 04:55:30 · 20 answers · asked by smcstokes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes I am going through the same thing. I love my husband also but I am not in love with him. We have been together for 9 years. We I think would be better off right now just as friends. We get along great, just the romance is gone. I think for us, we need to end the marriage and just be good friends while we can before things get ugly. We got married very young and have just grown into two different people. Good luck and follow your heart!
2006-07-19 06:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a massive difference and I have experience of it. I was married to a terribly nice man. He is good looking, kind, Professional & hard working. We got along marvellously well but I knew it wasn't enough. I felt like he was my brother or my best friend, I just knew there was more. I bit the bullet and ended the marriage in the hope I would find my soul mate.
A while later I found him. He has all the qualities of my first husband but after years of marriage we are still absolutely mad about each other. It is Worlds away from my first marriage. My husband describes it as 'best friends and lovers too'. We debate, laugh, dance, show great interest in each others careers and have a 'private life'. I feel joy every day.
Life is short. It's a cliche but it's true. Go find your soulmate.
P.S My ex husband found his too.
2006-07-14 17:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in the whole "being in love" thing. Of course you love the person you are with however the expression "being in love" simply means that two people are at a very happy point in the relationship. You have got a case of stale marriage. Happens to the best of us. Yall need to remember what it was like when you first met and figure out what you can do as a couple to make things more exciting. Find a parking lot and do it in the car... something. Perhaps you are losing your own individualities to your marriage... maybe yall need to hang out away from each other more and get stronger social lives... without more info I really don't know what advice to give you.
2006-07-14 12:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feelings in marriage ebb and flow like the tide. It's not normal to be ecstatically in love 100% of the time. Find some new things to do to spice up your life and love. Go somewhere romantic or just do something different. You're in a rut. Next month, you might feel that same old "pull" for the man you love again.
2006-07-14 12:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't you remember any thing what you and your husband is like 10 years ago??? can you guys work it out and fix the plm? and My wife and I had that plm and I looked back and said wow I change so much so I change it back and so my wife and we now married 9 years and I hope you find in your heart and your husband toofind something in his heart too smiling. Don't give up 10 years of marriage. talk about it and share it.
If it was me no way I will not throw it a way for 10 years. I will talk to my wife and solve this and make it work and make it feel young again like we first married agian. smile.
2006-07-14 13:12:11 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone means you care about them in the sense that you wouldnt want to see them hurt in any way. Being in love means that you have passion for a person. The thought of them makes you tingle and when you are with them your feelings overwhelm you. It makes me wonder how a woman married for 10 years doesnt know there is a difference. Were you ever truly "in love"? You are the only one who knows.
2006-07-14 12:04:20 · answer #6 · answered by happy g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that a person becomes "in love" by choice. The difference between love and being in love is the softening of one's heart to the other. It's a choice each person really needs to make.
A person in love sees the best in his or her loved one and is able to overlook the other's shortcomings. Being in love, in actuality, doesn't change loving people. It creates a new view for each other. It is like selective sunbeams shining in on our best views, leaving the rest in shadows.
People "in love" become disillusioned because the intense cozy feelings fade away. Once the infatuation has worn off, as it always does, these people suddenly believe they must not have been meant for each other. Otherwise, they would still be feeling the same intensity of love for each other.
I think that being in love is a preparatory emotion that helps people overcome their selfishness long enough to BEGIN loving each other. The infatuation is not the goal. The goal is to sacrifice one's own selfishness, to gain a deeper appreciation and tolerance for the other, and to learn to love with lasting commitment. To be truly in love is to be considerate for your loved one's life-long well being. This kind of love needs to deepen in order for meaningful relationships to last. These are the couples who stay in love.
Do you expect a perfect marriage? People are human and occasionally act carelessly or out of selfishness.
2006-07-14 12:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by martha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you feel you are not in love with him is the problems. Get them resolved and all will be well again. All women feel this way at one time or another throughout their marriages. Oh and if you are about to turn 30 watch out it is time to re-evaluate your life. Worse time in a woman's life.
2006-07-14 11:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love but not "in love"
Thats the commitment of your relationship keeping the bond there during times of "question" in your relationship/marriage.
If when you question whether you are in love with someone, you can still care about their welfare..you do still love them. Work at building the "feelings" again..express this to your spouse. Love ebbs and flows throughout a marriage. You happen to be in a low at this time... keep in mind..the tide will come back in IF you and your spouse work at it!
Best wishes!
2006-07-14 14:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat. I wish I had answers. I know that we grew apart and we did not make our marriage a priority. It happens. We are choosing to move on from one another. It is very hard to fall back in love with someone unless you both try.
2006-07-14 11:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by lookingforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋