my husband has two children that live with their mom... she has remarried it's been well over a year now, but she and the kids moved in to her new husband home with his two kids...
well when my husbands kids come to visit us they call him dad of course but me they call me by my first name.... but when they are at home they call their new step dad MR. and the new step dad kids call her MRS. now to me thats just not familyish... I dont think they should call me MRS. or the step dad MR. if we are all family right.... am I the only one who feels this way.. they shouldnt be calling me Mrs. and him MR. in their home....
2006-07-14 04:35:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the kids are forced to call their step dad mr. and they agree they dont like it... here at dads house they call by my first name..
2006-07-14 04:45:02 · update #1
their dad and i have been married about 10 yrs. now
2006-07-14 04:47:11 · update #2
it sounds like your "ex" & new wife have ego issues. I would never have my step kids call me "Mrs"
2006-07-14 04:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by Randi R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, that sound pretty formal for a family setting, but that might have been how Mr's family was raised. The only thing that matters is that the children are being treated well and are happy in the home, not what they are calling their stepdad. Just focus on that, and try to ignore the other stuff, or you will just be driven nuts untill the kids are 18. Good luck!
2006-07-14 04:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is quite formal, but calling step parents by the first name is way to "friendly" and casual. If "mom" and "dad" are out of the question, then formal titles should be used.
Adults have to be adults for the children in their lives. Adults must not be "buddies" to the children they are responsible for. Stepparents do have responsibilities much like those of bio-parents.
I'd err on the side of formality so the children see and respect the parent figures (bio or step) as authority figures.
2006-07-14 04:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by WhatAmI? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you totally. There is nothing "family-ish" about this at all. I've never heard of such a thing! The thing to worry about I guess is that they don't call you Mrs. There's probably very little you can do about their step dad insisting they call him Mr. He sounds a little warped. What's your husbands stance on this? Maybe all four of you should get together and discuss this weird scenario....I'm sure the kids find it all a bit strange?!
2006-07-14 04:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by mandydc3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the kids some time, divorce is always hardest on the kids, I have a step daughter that I have been raising for 13 years and for the first few years she called me missy and then one day she started calling me mom , I never told her to nor did her dad I wasnt trying to be her mom I was being her friend and I guess I must have done something right cause I couldnt see my life without her. kids are great be there for them and you will get great rewards in the end
2006-07-14 04:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by missy h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you don't agree, you can't run two households. He pays the bills at his house, so whatever the rules are, the children must follow. If it bothers your husband that much, he should try to get custody. Otherwise, you deal with the situation. It could be worse.
2006-07-14 04:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Boss' n it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill, myself. But, my sons kids call their step-mother "honey". They are little and everybody is happy with that. I'm their grandmother, and they call me Bobbye; I love it. So find a name for yourself and ask them to call you that. Leave the other families alone and let them deal with it the way they want. MYOB.
2006-07-14 04:40:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If no one else seems to care then who are you to change all of their minds. I agree with you however the majority rules. Hopefully they will get comfortable enough with you to call you mom eventually... give it time and don't make a big deal out of it.
2006-07-14 04:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand not call you mom or him dad but Mr. & Mrs. is totaly reduclas.
2006-07-14 04:44:02 · answer #9 · answered by usserydog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it's t he kids choice to call you or them mr. and mrs. then it shouldn't be a problem for you... If they are forced to do it then it's a huge problem
2006-07-14 04:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by Funny Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋