I have invited an ex on holiday but he has declined because he thinks I am after a relationship with him again. Even tho we split 5 years ago we have remained good friends and it would be nice just to be able to go out with him to bars in the evenings.
I know we would never be together again as a couple but how can I get the point across to him that I am not after him as a boyfriend?
2006-07-14 04:30:27 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should break it to him nicely by doing either of these things:
*pay for yourself during "dates" with him, that'll show him that its not a date
*when he asks for a one-on-one date, ask him if they can invite the rest of group, to let him know that hes not the one you wanna date
*Tell him about ur new crush or someone you met at the mall, that'll tell him that he's not the one you're thinking of in that way, you're just his confidante..
*if none of that works, then tell him head-onn in a subtle way that you don't see him as anything but a friend... But don't be too harsh about it, that'll ruin possible chances of friendship
2006-07-14 04:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mujareh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mikki:
SLAP.Ouch. Do you have no heart? Wow. No wonder guys have troubles with people like you out there.
Can you not hear your own words? He doesn't want to hang out for a reason. You were once together You were once together!!!
Sometimes people do go into a relationship with lots of ideas, lots of love, lots of respect, lots of feelings and love someone because they are really super. The poor guy you were with!!
You weren't any of these.
I hear you are a party girl, and out for yourself only? I might be wrong, but hey, you just said you can't get it through to this guy that you 'only want to be friends' . Cool. But he doesn't want to only be friends, because maybe he still 'feels' for you. Not your problem, no. But it could be a hurtful problem for him......sorry
leave and let live.
There are lots of other thoughtful guys out there? Or are there. You may regret losing this honey.
luv
Ava
2006-07-14 11:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI, You might try telling him that you do not want to complicate your wonderful friendhsip with a holiday romance with him. Point out that holiday romances never seem to last and that you will not risk loosing his friendship for something so shallow!! You should definately set him straight before you go so that there are no misunderstandings, once you get to your destination. Happy Holiday.
2006-07-14 11:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by Island Hoping 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's done the right thing, I think. Ex's can never be friends - talking is very different to hanging out and holidaying away. You really need to let go! It doesn't seem like you've finished this chapter, and he knows that well enough...
You should respect the limits he's set!
2006-07-14 11:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you've got to ask yourself whats making him think that you do want a relationship again? are you giving him signals of any kind ? you know what men are like they get scared of women !
I think you should just tell him its just as friends! but both you and him know that it would'nt just be as friends on holiday! you will end up getting drunk and falling in to bed with each other!
Thats probley what he dont want to happen! cus after that it could spoil things completely and you may not have a friendship at all! goodluck
2006-07-14 11:36:22 · answer #5 · answered by sweets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, WHY do you have to be friends with the guy? WHY can't you do him a favor and let it go? MAYBE he wants to stop any contact with you to go on with his life. MAYBE he thinks a "friendship" with you will cause some problems in a present relationship. Stop being so selfish, girl. Leave the man alone and find another friend whom you haven't slept with.
2006-07-14 11:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be blunt and tell him. Yeah we were together and broke up 5 yrs ago. That was then this is now. Your a cool friend and that's it. You don't have to worry I don't want you like that anymore. I'm over it and you should be too.
2006-07-14 11:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MEN!! Why do they always assume you are after more than friendship? Such big egos. Just tell him straight, but in a friendly way, that you don't see him that way anymore. Maybe you should chat with him about boys you do fancy.
2006-07-14 12:10:33 · answer #8 · answered by baby houseman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We cant really be friends with an ex we all say we can we all pretend to but we cant. Think really deep lets face it you are going to get leathered on holiday and have sex!
2006-07-14 11:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Monkeyphil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably say: I am not after a relationship with you, only a friendship.
2006-07-14 11:33:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋