What is Self-Control : (Please Be Very Detailed) &?

Question

Why, how, or when is it important or not important, necessary or unecessary, mature or immature, constructive or destructive, comfortable or uncomfortable, wise or unwise ? Does it make good sense or bad sense? How does it relate to: ethics, morals, history, sciences, technologys, arts, medicine, parenting, matuity, behaviour,etc?

Answer 1

Self-control is a set of behaviors which:

Accepts the reality that the only thing in life which you can successfully change and control is yourself.

Keeps in check all self-destructive, addictive, obsessive, compulsive, irrational, and unacceptable behaviors.

Gives you a sense of personal mastery, autonomy, and competency over your own life.

Is under your control and power to direct and orchestrate with no need for interference or manipulation from others.

Makes you the master of your own destiny because it keeps in check those barriers and obstacles which are a threat to your overall success in life.

Is a middle ground between perfectionism and laxity in self care.

Results in your life having a balance and focus by helping you to cope with new challenges in life as they come.

Helps you to keep your over-emotional responses in check or moderation.

Helps you to open yourself up from nonfeeling or pulled-in emotions so that you can have a healthy emotional life.

Is the foundation for healthy coping and contributes to your accepting personal responsibility for your life.

Keeps your life in moderation, helping you to avoid extremes in any direction.

Is the focus of the efforts to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in your life so that you can concentrate on yourself.

Eliminates the need for you to be manipulative, helpless, fixing others, intimidating, overdependent or a caretaker of others.

Helps you to be detached from others and to keep your relationships in a healthy balance of give and take.

Reflects your inner desire to grow up into a mature, responsible adult.



What are the negative effects of not maintaining self-control?
If you cannot gain self-control in your life, you could:

Focus all your attention on trying to control, fix, or rescue other persons, places, and things and divert your attention from your own needs.

Suffer the negative impact of your out of control behaviors such as alcoholism, chemical dependency, overeating, compulsive sex, addictive relationships, compulsive shopping, gambling, smoking, etc.

Become deeply depressed and despondent over your weakness and inability to get your life into "check'' or 'balance.''

Prefer to be overly dependent on other helpers, caretakers, fixers, and rescuers to give your life the control it needs.

Fall prey to an overly perfectionistic and idealistic belief system in which no matter how well you get things in order you see them as being imperfect and not good enough.

Lose control over the emotional boundaries you need to maintain from becoming over enmeshed or controlled by others.

Become lost as to where you begin and end and where others in your life begin and end in relationship to you.

Find yourself responding to situations in your life either in an overly emotional and hysterical way or in a withdrawn, pulled-in and non-emotive way, with neither response being healthy or appropriate at the time.

Find it impossible to become detached from people, places, or things who are toxic or unhealthy for you.

Find yourself in a state of powerlessness to effect changes to get your life into moderation or balance.

Fall into the trap of learned helplessness and convince yourself that you are not capable of taking care of yourself and thus allow your life to get more and more out of control.

Seek out caretakers, fixers, or rescuers to help you solve your own problems and get your life under control.

End up convinced that there is no way you can get your life into balance because the amount of work, effort, energy, and resources needed are too great an investment just for you when there are so many other people, places, and things on which you could better focus attention.

Experience even lower self-esteem because of your inability to believe enough in your worth and value to take action to get your life into control.



How is self-control a control issue?
Self-control is a control issue because it is:

Keeping the "locus of control'' internal and removes the "locus of control'' from the externals in your life.

Giving to yourself the power and control to have an impact on your personal destiny and fortunes.

Ensuring your focusing on what in life you have the ability to change and control, namely yourself.

Not allowing yourself to fall into the trap of using manipulation or helplessness to get others to come to your rescue to fix or care for you.

Not needing a "fixer'' or "caretaker'' to help you determine your own future.

Not allowing survival behaviors to get in your way of reaching out for support, intimacy, and vulnerability from others in your life.

Exercising moderation in your emotional reaction to life so that you are neither overcontrolled or undercontrolled in the expression of your feelings.

Accepting responsibility for your own actions, feelings, thoughts, and life and giving power to yourself to accept the consequences for all of these.

The lack of needing anyone else to "fix,'' "rescue'' or be a caretaker for you in order for you to be successful in your life.

Being aware of people who are trying to control or exert power over you and you take the steps to change this.

The exercising of your control and power over those things, people, or places to which you have a compulsive or addictive attraction so as to put them into a moderate or abstaining relationship with you.

The realistic and rational exercise of power and control in your life.


What irrational thinking leads you to not exercise self-control?
There is no sense in trying to gain control over this, since I'm going to fail at it anyway.

There is no way I will ever be able to gain control over my behaviors.

I'd rather have others do it for me.

I prefer to have others monitor my behaviors and make me suffer negative consequences when I falter.

If I no longer need them in my life to assist me gain control of myself, then they no longer will be interested in me.

If I become too independent and in control, I'll be unappealing to them.

I've never been parented in a healthy way and it's my turn now to get parented.

I'm never going to grow up; it's too boring.

I'm young yet so why do I need to act old?

They'll just have to put up with me the way I am.

I was like this before you met me and you knew who I was then, so don't try to change me now.

I feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities involved in being an adult.

If they want me to change, then they'll have to work hard to make this happen.

I like myself just the way I am.

There is too much to change so why try?

Why do I always have to do it for myself? Why can't others, just once, do it for me?

It's so much easier to know what others need to do for themselves than it is for yourself.

I've never had any luck in the past in controlling these behaviors so why should I expect to do better now?

I hate trying to take charge of my life. It is always so tough and I never feel good when I do it.

Loneliness is the major result of self-control and it keeps me from working harder on self growth.

I'd rather be "sick'' than lonely.

All this "centering on self'' stuff is absurd and nobody I know really does it so why should I?

I'm so addicted I could never change.

If you can't be 100% successful in changing, then why try in the first place?

I hate myself so much for being weak, how could I ever make it straight?

Giving up my old behaviors would change me so much that nobody would ever like me.

I can't live with it but I can't live without it.

My anxiety and frustration get worse when I try to control myself.

I enjoy what I'm doing. Why stop now when I'm having fun?

No one is going to tell me what I have to do with my life.

Answer 2

self control is very important. It is you being able to control yourself when you are feeling extreme emotions. You may not like it but it a good thing to do. It shows that you have a strong will and know what is best. It plays a big role in who you are and your personality.

Answer 3

Self-control is used mainly to talk about taking charge of your life.

I will not jerk off today. I will not beat my wife. I will not have an alcoholic drink.

it is a way to show that you are in charge of your life and not be held hostage to your baser beliefs.

Answer 4

As far as I am concerned, self control has never been much of an issue to me, as I rarely excersise it. My years of rampant drug addiction have been one constant excersise in self control...constantly refraining from doing too much dope to overdosing, then doing to much and overdosing, trying to refrain from doing things that were unethical (to me) to get dope...
But in terms of morality I never have believed in the common morality of mankind
bah!

Answer 5

It's really self-explanatory. It's the practice of not reacting to impulses to do something, with the knowledge of reasons as to why it is beneficial to not follow those impulses.

Answer 6

Without discipline a warrior would carelessly kill people rather than being a servant you become the enemy. People are often times looking for trouble the discipline is not to kill them when they attack you.

Answer 7

Self control is :

whatever i'm lacking!

Answer 8

Self-control, when somebody pisses in your wheaties, and you go eat eggs instead

Answer 9

self control is to be focused on what you have to do:

http://www.cutepiggy.com/gheto_stunt.html

Answer 10

nothing!!