Are people who give their children up for adoption selfish or selfless?

Question

What else do you think of them?

Answer 1

If you are a resident of a country which doesn't know much about poverty, you wouldn't understand the reason for why the people give away thier children. I live in India, where there are extreme poverty cases, people don't have enough money for one square meal a day for one person...you dont't know, and I don't think you'll care too. Forget about your children,You can't even feed yourself, what to do in these circumstances???You have no option, you cant even find work to do because of the population explosion, farmers suffer from famine, workers from selfish bosses....what to do? Where to gO??Humans can never stay that pure, if they want to stay alive, they are bent to do such things. Sometimes, they think that by giving up thier children for adoption, thier children might get a better life to live, instead of facing extreme poverty...They have no choice, ma'am...you might call them selfish or selfless...I would call them neither.

Answer 2

Not a question that can be answered one way or the other as iIt depends on the mitigating circumstances and their motivation for giving the children up for adoption. It is not always possible to discern if it is because they are too selfish or self-centered to make the necessary sacrifices to care for the child or if they are truly in a hopeless situation and they want to keep the child but cannot (best example would be a terminally ill person with no friends or family that will take in their children after they die...better to make arrangements, help in the selection as much as possible and transition them into a new home then leave floudering in pain and alone and turned over to the foster care system).

If it is an unplanned pregnancy, well at least carrying the child to full term and allowing it to have a chance at a life is better than abortion, but the real problem is if a person is going to be sexually active, they need to be sexually responsible and actively practice birth control. Keep the zippers up and the legs crossed if you are not ready, willing and able to deal with outcome!

Answer 3

It is probably a combination of the two. They know that they don't want children or aren't in a situation where they could handle children, which can be perceived as selfish by some. But when you think about it, if that's the way they are thinking, then they shouldn't have kids, that child would not grow up happy and loved, so it's really a blessing to the child that they have decided to give it up for adoption.

Personally, if I were in a situation where I couldn't manage a child and I couldn't have an abortion, I would much rather know that the child would end up in a happy, loving environment where they could grow, than in one where I might resent the child or not treat it properly.

Answer 4

people who give up children are putting the needs of that child FIRST which makes them selfless.. too many people keep babies when they really shouldnt - these people are selfish

there are probably a few times this isnt true but on the whole if a person admits they cannot be a good parent and gives the kid up then this is for the best interest of that baby and I applaud them for it - but hope they take precautions so they dont get pregant again

Answer 5

My mom was an orphan. I think she would've loved to grow up in a family, even if it was horrible. Her parents shouldn't have had kids, but, they were both mentally ill. I wouldn't say selfish or selfless.

The good thing is my mom went on to have kids even though she grew up as an orphan. I'm so happy she did (obviously); because I wouldn't have my sister or the rest of my family. She'd done an amazing job with what she was given.

Answer 6

I think if it is in the best interest of the child, it would not be a selfish choice. But it wouldn't be selfless either, because the birth mother/father of the child performed a selfish act when they, knowing the weren't ready for a child, were not protected. (I'm assuming that's the scenario)

Answer 7

Depends on the situation. First, selfless if it is a case where the man won't face up to his responsibilities for child care, the woman can't, but she won't suffer through an abortion. Second case, selfish if it's just a case where the child would be an inconvenience.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the situation . To give up a child that you love and care for because you're unable to provide for it is probably one of the most selfless things a person can do . On the other hand to have a baby and give it away because it burdens you is a totally different thing !

Answer 9

Selfish? How is it selfish to realize you cannot take care of a child and to put it in a situation where he or she will be taken care of and given a better life? I was adopted as an infant, my birthmother already had one child and they had become homeless by circumstance and they knew they would not be able to take care of me, even though they wanted another child. So they gave me to a family that was in a much better position and situation to bring me up with the emotional and financial support a child needs. Sometimes you can't help what the world throws at you, and you have to make the decision that is in the best interest of those involved and in the best interest of yourself.

People who think adoption is SELFISH have a real skewed perspective on what actually leads a mother to make that kind of decision... I have no desire to be a mother, but I know for damn sure that you'd have to pry my baby out of my cold, dead hands if I was in a situation to be able to financially and emotionally support that child. You never know what might happen. When you get pregnant, you might be in a situation that would allow you to take care of your child, and it can all change over night.

Answer 10

The ultimate love that anyone can have is for their children. To come to the realization that you do not have the things that you need emotionally of financially to raise a child, and to want a child to have all of the best opportunities is the ultimate act of selfless love. And to me what real love is about. Love wants what is best for the parties involved. Love is not selfish. So I think it is the ultimate act of love to put your needs to the side and to do what is best for the child. Women who do that are hero's in my book and someone to be respected.