my boyfriend and his ex?

Question

I just read my boyfriends email and on a sent page, he told his ex that lives in Europe..Family is well, I am not..P.s. wish you were here. She knows about me and our son..What do i make of this? Me and him have been together for 3 years, we have a 5 month old son together and i have a 8 year old daughter. I am going crazy now, that i saw this but am i just overreacting!! Everytime, i tell him i am going to leave him, if we get into a fight, he says oh, no you are not!! we can work it out but then i see this?

Answer 1

I went through something similar. My husband wrote an email to an ex of his during a time he was frustrated with me and wasn't telling me. I found the email and was furious that he wasn't talking to me. We had a big fight about this because I was so angry that he was complaining about me to a woman I didn't even know. In the end we worked it out but it didn't happen quickly. You have to be honest and upfront with him. Tell him how the secrecy hurts you, your relationship and your children. He needs to understand why you are upset. It isn't just the email - it is the deception. You can't trust a man who won't talk to you. It takes time to work it out and he might have a relapse ( my hubby did) but we worked it out together and let me tell you we have a stronger bond than we did when we were first married. If you love him and he loves you try to work it out. Tell him what you need or want and ask him the same. Good luck!!

Answer 2

You both suck . . .

You broke his trust and invaded his privacy - I would automatically dump a girl that did that to me!

Anyhow, he's terrible too playing that behind his back. You should confront him, be honest and open about what you've done and ask for forgiveness. In so doing, you will be very straight forward about your feelings about his actions.

Now that you've done the right thing, you've set the standard that he should follow in doing the right thing which should be telling you his true feelings and intent toward you, your children and that other girl.

Seriously, sometimes guys say stuff they don't really mean to girls just to make them feel good. But if he's crooked, then you have to make a choice - 1) leave his *** or 2) accept his shady ways, work it out and move on.

Answer 3

Honestly that is sad. Very sad. There are two explanations for this... or maybe three.

First... he may be just bored with what you have to offer him and is remembering the things his ex used to give him. Not that he will get it but just the thought of having it again keeps him comfortable and so he tell her to get it off his chest. Not that he doesnt care about you and your children... but there is something that is missing from his life that right now you are not giving him. So talk to him... ask him about it and ask him what you are doing wrong. Don't approach him in a defensive way as he'll become defensive and you might not get a word out of him... but instead approach him on level terms and be reasonable.

Secondly... He may be just simply tired of you and want her back. Again there may be something between you two that he is just tired of and wants out but cant find the courage to tell you. So again I suggest you talk it over with him. You'll be surprise whattalking can do... communication is a very effective tool to solve almost any problem.

Thirdly... that email might have meant nothing at all to him. Often times men have nothing to do and so they send these emails to persons... exes included to make them feel 'good'. I know this sounds stupid but it does happen. I have done it before much to my regret as my gf found out but it does happen. He may have wanted to say hi but in a little more words and he ended up saying that. Its wrong to send the wrong messages and signals because in this case you will no doubt feel used, hurt and disrespected. I know how you feel and its not fair to you and he should know better but the only to make things better is through proper communication. Talk it over... ask him to explain himself. If he's lying you'll know so tell him not to. Then you'll know where you guys stand.


All the best and take care of yourself and your children. Talk it over- it can be worked out it both of you really want it.

Answer 4

Saying that your not going anywhere is not a good sign. Its like he feels he can continuously dump on you and you will take it and stay, which I guess you have done. Him telling his ex that he is not well and misses her makes you look so bad and someone that loves you wouldn't do that. Is this all that you want for yourself ?

Answer 5

He probably misses her because she is someone who knows him as well as you do. Sometimes a friend can be more comforting than a girlfriend, but not very often. He doesn't want back, just wants her back as a friend, just someone to talk to besides you.

Answer 6

Do you always check his email??

Ask your boyfriend about it. He may get mad that you read his email but, if hes not happy try and get him to talk to you. Don't do anything major but, just talk to him and see what he has to say.

Answer 7

Tell him you need an engagement ring and a wedding date within a month or you move out.

Answer 8

confron him and ask him whats where do we stand and why do u wish ur ex was here.

sounds like the 2 of you a headed in different paths.

good luck.

Answer 9

Thats sad. I'd be pissed too. He's looking for a way out, watch out he may just run off and leave one day.

Answer 10

Both of you sound like you enjoy the drama. Good luck.