Especially in a relationship, somebody could be doing something cruel to the other - but when questioned they claim they dont realise it. But I think they part of them does - are they doing this on purpose?
2006-07-14 03:18:33 · 19 answers · asked by maxxy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In some cases it may be on purpose. Some people don't know how to express themselves in case they are disatisfied about something..so they and up being mean to show all is not okay like withdrawal or unexplained silence, insensitivity to the feelings of the other.
Others still could have grown up in an abusive environment and their system got adopted to such behaviour and when they get into a relationship, the just exhibit the same.
Communication is vital and means of it ought to be chosen carefully as the mode used may deliver what was never intended!!
In other cases one may do it without knowing or unintentionally. In which case, they will really apologise or show a degree of remorse.
2006-07-14 03:42:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i do think they do it on purpose, maybe they don't realise it on a very conscious level, but, they really WANT to do it. I don't deny that there are misunderstandings, but, if something really cruel happens to you, feel free to blame the person. There is no such ting as a bad day, when you instantly argue with people, your a human being, you can control your emotions, that's why you can be blamed for being mean. Yes, i agree, that some people are naturally more open to be mean, but, we have willpower to control our tongs and deeds. People should consider their actions before taking them. Yes, a part of them, deeply buried inside their souls know what is wrong and what isn't, and yes, they can be judged, they do it on purpose. Since Freud discovered the subconscious, we know that our animalistic side manifests sometimes when it shouldn't, if that's the case, you MAY blame them, but you HAVE to forgive them, because the same thing can happen to you, we are all humans, and forgiveness is a very important factor in our lives and relationships.
2006-07-14 04:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by wendy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be difficult to determine if it is the nature of an individual to be cruel/demanding/domineering, etc. Yes, there are instances of an individual(say a boy friend) sayng something that you (the girl friend) see as a caustic remark. I would say that the BF said it because it was UNDERLYING in his mind and not something that he just said off the cuff. You should talk to him about the remark.. or incident... to get him to think about it again and if he still is adamant, then he could just be a mean, controlling individual.. one that you should shy away from. ON THE OTHER HAND.. did something happen during the day that put him on edge and his mind was on something else and when he make a remark to you, it was nasty or had the overtones of being nasty.. Was it him talking or was it him thinking about some other incident that happened during the day with his neighbor or his mother??
2006-07-14 03:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it could also be left over from a prior relationship it could be to make themselves feel better u have to give more examples they could very well be doing it on purpose but u cant know for sure unless u catch them i mean really thinking of something mean to say. i take it u are in a relationship like that. well good luck
2006-07-14 03:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by spring goth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey if you feel it's being done on purpose time to move on and consider the type of mind frame this is all happening is the person been drinking or any type of things going on well time to get the person help and breakout
2006-07-14 03:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by LIZA P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Especially in a relationship chances are its on purpose
2006-07-14 03:22:28 · answer #6 · answered by jentn2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in a relationship that you don't get treated the way you want right now..do you really think they will change. MAybe this person doesn't reliaze it but its hi or her nature to act a certain way. You have to think weather you want to put up with it or not. Every person has their unique personality you can't really change it. If you do it will only cause disagreements becuase its natrual for that person to behave in that manner.
2006-07-14 03:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by gladys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I am of the opinion that in most of the cases such acts are done on purpose,but when caught pretend to be innocent.
2006-07-14 03:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by suchsi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is being mean to you in a relationship, then there must be some unresolved issues or anger(and it may be left over baggage from a previous relationship, or parent).
2006-07-14 03:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i think so because i don't think one would fail to realise that he is being mean in his actions unless he has reasons like wanting to revenge. But its good to tell them that they are mean because that way, they feel guilty and try to change
2006-07-14 03:30:40 · answer #10 · answered by dembe c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋