a family member is a couple of years older than me, and we have always been very close. but no one i introduce her to or brings around her likes her. they all say she is mean and rude. (she is) but that's just her personality. she really doesn't mean any harm. she's just a little out spoken. it's starting to get hurt because now I'm marriage with kids. so when i'm having get togethers i feel uncomfortable with other family members and friends when she comes because i know how they feel about her.
2006-07-14 03:10:57 · 14 answers · asked by myboo1022 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She's family, tell the rest of them to deal with it.
2006-07-14 03:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we may need to refocus the light a little less on the close family member and her social interactions to "how you feel when your close family member is present in a social setting, where you are an active participant"--this appears to be the real question.
Perhaps you may want to discuss this with your close family member and express how you feel when interacting with her while around others. Is it truly fair for you to continue to feel uncomfortable because of how others are perceiving "someone else"? (Even if it is a family member.) Your close family member has her own life to live and the way she chooses to live it is really beyond your control--so it's really not a question of whether she should evaluate her actions, than it is about how you are feeling when she is around in a group setting. I think a heart-to-heart conversation is in order---giving your close family member an opportunity to see how hurt / embarrassed you become based on some of her actions in a group setting. Perhaps she'll change... then again perhaps not. This is something you may need to accept. ^-^
2006-07-14 10:33:32 · answer #2 · answered by xiozen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs a friend and someone to care for them. This family member may never admit it but she needs you now more than ever. We arer all born differently and our personalities are different as well. Some of us are more reserved and some of us are out there. I believe that because of the relarionship you to have you have the power to talk her down. I mean when there are gatherings simply tell her, Girl I know you, but you have to tone it down it down or I can not invite you over. I would not totally isolate myself from her, unless, she was so bad that the children were bing affected. She seems to be the one who is blatently honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, so maybe some of the ofendees are guilty of her accusations.
2006-07-14 10:32:17 · answer #3 · answered by lashenica j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you can't change how other people feel about her. I would warn them in advance, "she's all bark and no bite..that's just the way she is. She has a heart of gold once you get to know her". She's probably the type of person that people love 100% or hate...no middle ground. They feel that way because I'm sure she's being real and honest. If others are uncomfortable, so be it. They make their own misery. Why should you exclude someone you love because others are not mature enough to try to get to know this person? I say, love her like she is. She's probably a big softie inside and uses this to protect herself. Good Luck.
2006-07-14 10:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agreed that is her personality and that's how she is and you have to accept that. But people don't have to put up with that kind of attitude either. People go the family get-together to have a good time not the be spoiled by someone's else rude comments. Just like you respect her personality you may have to respect other people decisions not to come over whenever she is invited. Good luck.
2006-07-14 10:24:59 · answer #5 · answered by loveNromance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't mind this person and want to invite her...then I say do so. It's your get together. The other people can make their own decision to come or not. You could just talk to the person about calming it down just a little for the family get togethers but all in all she shouldn't have to change who she is.
2006-07-14 10:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by dolphin2253 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep loving your family member but not at the sake of your marriage. Its great that you like her and keep in touch with her. I know its tough that other family members don't like her but that is their issue. Keep inviting her to your home but talk to her find out why she is "rude" maybe its just a cover-up for a deeper issue or maybe that's how she deals with the world. If you start to shy away from her she may become depressed and that is not good.
Good luck.
2006-07-14 10:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by David C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must love her a lot. You are extremely kind, so you can probably tell her about the issue (I'm sure she knows anyway) from a kind and loving place. Suggest that you are there for her in any way she needs it - perhaps she is mean and rude because she feels people are mean to her or she has low self esteem. See if she will talk to you about it...or consider counseling for whatever troubles she may be going through.
Good luck. I wish my relatives had your kindness.
2006-07-14 10:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look she is your family member so your gonna have to talk to her. Tell her how u feel. There is no sense in her attitude towards ppl. If your so uncomfortable you need to do something. Thats def. not her personality thats just her. Shes just mean. If you talk to her maybe she will lighten up. If not. Stop inviting her over.
However you said you were close so talk to her then.
2006-07-14 10:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by ♫♪♥mï®♥♫♪ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to explain to your family member that sometimes she seems a bit outspoken to others. Since she is a part of your family she should understand if it is coming from you. Ask her to tone it down a bit at outings.
2006-07-14 10:14:52 · answer #10 · answered by big&rich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋